Last year, I went to visit my family in Mississippi. During my visit, my cousin invited me to lunch. I thought that this lunch was like a girls’ lunch where there would be lots of gossip, people watching, and maybe even a little bit of shopping. It wasn’t. Not even close. In this blog, I will discuss a personal experience that entailed several of Cialdini’s principles of social influences – commitment and consistency, authority, and reciprocity.
We were supposed to meet at the country club at noon. When I arrived, my cousin was dressed up very nicely with her hair, makeup, and nails complimenting her attire. I immediately asked “What is the occasion?” She simply told me that she had a special client at the bank that day. So I didn’t think anything of it. When we got inside, she told me that lunch was in a designated room. While walking into the room, I noticed that the room was a conference room and most of the people had badges on. I knew something was wrong and suspicious so I started to walk out until my cousin grabbed me and the speaker at the microphone asked everyone to take their seats because a very special guest from FEMA will be coming to the stage to give everyone some safety advice and precautions during this season of tornados and flooding. I looked at my cousin and she immediately started to beg me and then proceeded to remind me that I didn’t give her a wedding present two years ago and how I missed her two children’s births. I could have killed her that day but there would have been witnesses (and there was no time).
There were three reasons why I did not walk out or three principles of social influence that persuaded me. One reason was public or social responsibility and job commitment. (Commitment and Consistency) The public needed information regarding the risks and damages of natural disasters and plus, without going into any details, it was my job to inform the public. Usually such announcements are approved and planned. The second reason was due to coercion and my cousin held a high position in the charity organization that was sponsoring the conference that day. (Authority) Plus, I loved her and respected her as a woman and a person even though I wanted to seriously harm her that day. The third and final reason was because I was starving and the food being served looked great and it was free. (Reciprocity)
In conclusion, power influences behavior. Some behaviors are a result of some principles of social influence as seen above such as reciprocity, commitment and consistency, and authority. There are also such social influences like social proof which implies acceptability through following the majority, liking which states that we listen to or follow those we like, and scarcity which states that “rare situations or opportunities” are desirable. (Cialdini, 2006, 2008) I feel that no matter how we are influenced the real power is the recognition of such power. Even though I was completely caught off guard and a tiny bit angry when I was asked to deliver a public announcement, the presentation was awesome (if I may say) and empowering because people were listening and I was empowering others with such information.
Reference:
Cialdini, R.B. (2006). Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. New York: Harper Collins.
Cialdini, R.B. (2008). Influence: Science and Practice. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
Kimberly – Thanks for this wonderful blog post! The first thing that I thought of when I was reading this was the amazingly high amount of coercion that occurred during this event. You identify it only briefly, and then turn to the fact that your cousin holds a high position in the organization that was sponsoring the conference, thus she had authority. In reality she may have had authority within that organization, but not so much with you. I believe that the reason you agree to go up there and present on an ad hoc basis was more because of the fact that you loved her and respected her and did not want to let her down versus being forced to deliver the speech.
There are a lot of interweaving influences in this situation, and not one of them is clear-cut. Your job is to inform the public, and here was a great opportunity to do so at the same time, there was the added carrot (if you’ll pardon the pun) of a delicious lunch after your speech.
What I am very curious about is what confluence of circumstances, or influences could have occurred in this situation that would have caused you to refuse to deliver this presentation? Let’s assume for a moment that you were not as sensitive to the position that your cousin was in. Would the fact that your job is to inform the public superseded your desire to not deliver the presentation? In other words, if you had no love for your cousin, would you have turned on your heel and walked out of there despite your view that it is your job to inform and educate the public?
I guess what I am truly wondering is how you ranked these principles of social influence. Which one of these was most critical to you, and why do you suppose that you ranked them the way you did in the few seconds between the time when you walked through the door, to the time you walked up to the podium?
Great post!!
I have to say that I love this story. Would you say that perhaps, when all said and done, there was a bit of a power reward at play? You got a nice, free, lunch, you also received much thanks and had great and inspirational presentation.
Next time you run into that cousin and she is all dressed up run for the hills!