When we think of leaders often think of people in a position of power or authority. Kings, Queens, Presidents, Prime Ministers, CEO’s, General’s, etc. What we tend to forget is that the first leaders we were exposed to and ones that play the most vital roles in our lives. I am talking about our parents. Even for those that may not be as fortunate to be raised by their parents, there is still a parental figure in most people’s lives. Parents are tasked with a very difficult task. One that requires many qualities to be effective. One that even more so consists for many different situations where the parents has to apply different forms of leadership to be successful or at least provide their child with proper guidance.
The Situational Approach fits in nicely with the complex relationship that exists with not only being a parent but the various stages of life that children go through. Northouse talks about a continuum that employees go through regarding the development of skills and ability throughout their career. With children this happens very rapidly and in waves. When a child is born they are at the lower end of the development scale D1 from the Situational Leadership II chart (Northouse, 2012, pg. 100). Normally speaking the leader would take on a Directing Style, but the parent-child relationship is much more complex and a coaching style would be effective due to the high directive and high supportive behavior.
As the child gains control of the speech, fine motor skills and coordination they start to become more self-sufficient (as a child) and move along the continuum to where parents can take on a more Supporting Style. However as the child enters each new stage of life. Making friends outside of the family, playing in public, starting school, studying, playing sports, driving a car, romantic relationship, , college, career choices, marriage, etc., there are constant changes throughout their lives. During each of these stages, parents play a very important role that goes beyond the basic leadership level. However what doesn’t change is that their form of leadership needs to change as the situation changes.
One problem that arises is miscommunication which is important and the videos in the lesson commentary (Penn state, Lesson 5) point out. Sometimes one party may not understand why a form of leadership is applied, therefore becoming concerned or upset with the situation due to lack of or too much interaction from leaders. Child rearing is a very difficult task that most people take on without acknowledging the difficult while others don’t appreciate the work that is put in to raising our children.
References
Penn State World Campus (2013). PSYCH 485 Lesson 5:Styles and Situational Approaches. Retrieved on June 20, 2013, from
https://courses.worldcampus.psu.edu/su13/psych485/002/content/05_lesson.html
Northouse, P. (2012). Leadership: Theory and practice. (6 ed.). Thousand Oaks,
California: Sage Publishing.
Yevgeny, as a parent I can totally relate to your thoughts regarding the similarities between parenting and leadership styles. Another one of our classmates made a similar analogy specific to Servant leadership; I think the situational approach is also a great perspective through which to view certain aspects of parenting.
While you could look at the child’s ‘global’ development as progressing through stages, this is also highly applicable to a number of specific domains within the child’s life. I saw this in my own daughter’s development when it came to homework. When she was in elementary school, her development level with respect to homework was ‘low competency and low commitment’. She new she had to do it, but she didn’t really understand how to manage her own homework assignments and she certainly didn’t enjoy it. In this scenario, coaching leadership was very helpful; my wife and I would break down the tasks and homework schedule and tell her explicitly what to do in order to be successful at this task, and also support her with encouragement when she encountered difficult challenges or obstacles. By the end of sixth grade, her competency and commitment level regarding homework were both very high. Now, we use a supporting style. We don’t have to monitor her day-to-day tasks because she does this quite well on her own, and we simply provide emotional support, encouraging her when she succeeds or faces a particularly difficult challenge.
You specifically mention miscommunication as a risk for parents, and this is really interesting in light of recent developmental neuroscience research. Much of this work suggests that adolescent brains ‘work differently’ than adult brains in a number of ways (Pfiefer & Blakemore, 2012). For instance, adolescents demonstrate very high amygdala reactivity—greater than children or adults. This region of the brain is implicated in face-emotion processing and the fear response. High amygdala reactivity suggests that teens may misread social cues (e.g., facial expressions); it’s easy to see how this could lead to miscommunication with a parent.
Pfeifer, J. H., & Blakemore, S. J. (2012). Adolescent social cognitive and affective neuroscience: past, present, and future. Social cognitive and affective neuroscience, 7(1), 1-10.
Yevgeny Zubku,
Very interesting and unique way of analyzing the situational approach. You were right, I often think of a CEO or royalty when giving an example of a leader. I never thought of defining a parent as a leader however, after reading your post I feel you had a few valid points. As you mentioned, a parent has a lot of responsibility, so it is important that the individual has the right qualities for the “job.” They need to both supportive and directive, as we learned in the situational approach lesson (WC Lesson 5). Lastly, I wanted to mention the point you made about parents having to adjust based on the situation they are in. That is an important part of this approach because parents have to match the level of needs that the child requires. What I mean by that is, say a child is diagnosed with ADHD. The parent should then work with situation at hands and the child’s needs, to effectively “lead” the child. It is similar to a waitress telling the manager, I am unable to work nights, but I am available weekends. The manager (leader) would adjust to that situation.
References:
Penn State World Campus (2013). PSYCH 485 Lesson 5: Styles and Situational Approaches. Retrieved on June 20, 2013, from https://courses.worldcampus.psu.edu/su13/psych485/001/content/05_lesson/04_topic/02_page.html
Hi Yevgeny,
I really enjoyed reading your blog. I think the topic you chose is worth discussing: children are like followers; they are ready to be taught, coached and developed. Parents are like leaders; a responsible good parent will adopt different leadership style through different stage, based on the characteristics of their children. This has great similarity comparing to the leadership in working environment. I like the paragraph where you connect situational approach with parenting, especially when you mentioned “coaching style”: high directive and high supportive, which I consider makes a lot of sense. Most of the children experience coaching style when they haven’t obtain essential surviving skills as well as common knowledge, just like employees who have not yet acquire skills and knowledge necessary for the job. This makes me think of another Psychology course I have taken on Adolescence. During one of the lesson, the concept of authoritarian parenting style came into the picture, which is used to describe parents who are both strict and loving to their child. There are also authoritative parenting (high directive, low loving), ignorant parenting (low directive, low loving) etc., which can be connected with different leadership styles under situational leadership, for example: Directing, Delegating etc. Interestingly, I think it makes perfect links.
Another comment I have is that in my opinion, servant leadership is quite suitable for parents. According to Northouse (2013), servant leadership’s purpose is to move obstacles that are in follower’s way, as well as developing followers into leaders for their own right. Servant leadership’s idea is very similar to parent’s, that is fulfilling child’s needs when they grow up (both physically and mentally), therefore, developing them into an individual who is able to survive and contribute. Ultimately, children are further developed into “leaders”, which in this case, parents of their own child.
Northouse, P. G. (2013). Leadership: Theory and Practice (6th edition). Thousand Oaks, California: Sage Publications.
Hi Yevgeny,
I really enjoyed reading your blog. I think the topic you chose is worth discussing: children are like followers; they are ready to be taught, coached and developed. Parents are like leaders; a responsible good parent will adopt different leadership style through different stage, based on the characteristics of their children. This has great similarity comparing to the leadership in working environment. I like the paragraph where you connect situational approach with parenting, especially when you mentioned “coaching style”: high directive and high supportive, which I consider makes a lot of sense. Most of the children experience coaching style when they haven’t obtain essential surviving skills as well as common knowledge, just like employees who have not yet acquire skills and knowledge necessary for the job. This makes me think of another Psychology course I have taken on Adolescence. During one of the lesson, the concept of authoritarian parenting style came into the picture, which is used to describe parents who are both strict and loving to their child. There are also authoritative parenting (high directive, low loving), ignorant parenting (low directive, low loving) etc., which can be connected with different leadership styles under situational leadership, for example: Directing, Delegating etc. Interestingly, I think it makes perfect links.
Another comment I have is that in my opinion, servant leadership is quite suitable for parents. According to Northouse (2013), servant leadership’s purpose is to move obstacles that are in follower’s way, as well as developing followers into leaders for their own right. Servant leadership’s idea is very similar to parent’s, that is fulfilling child’s needs when they grow up (both physically and mentally), therefore, developing them into an individual who is able to survive and contribute. Ultimately, children are further developed into “leaders”, which in this case, parents of their own child.
Northouse, P. G. (2013). Leadership: Theory and Practice (6th edition). Thousand Oaks, California: Sage Publications.