Being a parent is one of the simplest ways to illustrate servant leadership. As a parent, putting my children first, helping them to grow, and prosper is at the forefront of my leadership style. A parent’s way of leading their child through life varies, just as leadership in an organization varies. My house IS my organization. I joke that I am the CFO while my husband retains CEO status. This organization (my home) is run with more elements of servant leadership than any other leadership style. Raising my children, my own desires have not just been pushed aside but I am happy and desire it to be this way. My goal and mission in this crazy thing they call parenthood is that at the end of my children’s adolescence, they will be ready, willing, and able to carry on as independent adults that are productive parts of society. By choosing servant leadership as the catalyst to my parenting, the context and culture in our home (organization), my attributes as the parent (leader), and my children’s (follower’s) receptivity all play a role in the success we share together. The behaviors I display as a servant leader produce outcomes today and will produce outcomes in my children’s lives down the road.
Servant leaders place their followers first, empower them, and help to develop them to their fullest potential. Robert Greenleaf (1970) developed the theory of servant leadership. Others, including Graham (1991), Spears (2002), Russell and Stone (2002), and Patterson (2003), have further developed the theory. Spears (2002) sorted Greenleaf’s writings and produced a list of 10 characteristics that characterize servant leaders. They are: Listening, Empathy, Healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, stewardship, commitment to the growth of people, building community (Northouse, 2013). Russell and Stone (2002) produced a model of servant leadership that displays attributes, functional characteristics, and accompanying characteristics (Northouse, 2013). Patterson (2003) developed a model based on values that specify building blocks for the ethical behavior displayed by servant leaders (Northouse, 2013). Another model is based on Liden, Wayne, Zhao, and Henderson (2008) that makes use of three factors (Northouse, 2013). This model shows antecedent conditions, servant behaviors, and leadership outcomes in an effort to make sense of the intensely complex theory of servant leadership (Northouse, 2013).
The behaviors in the model of servant leadership can be seen when evaluating my leadership as a parent. The conceptualization I possess for my children is a future as ready, willing, and productive adults. For emotional healing, who is the first person many people want when they need a shoulder to lean on or cry on? Correct. Their mom. There is never a time that I am not available when my children need someone. In order to help my children grow and succeed, I spend at least an hour each day reading, writing, and practicing other skills they are developing in school. Their participation in after school activities is also important. Development in social areas of their lives and commitment to other organizations foster community ties. Teaching my children to use manners and do “the right thing in the right way” (Northouse, 2013, p. 229) is an ongoing process and behavior practice that I value highly. In order for my children to behave in a way that will be productive and respectful in the future, I aim to continually perform acts of kindness and make rational decisions based on the truth even if the truth is hard to deal with instead of taking the easy way or making decisions based on emotions. Within my home, many decisions are made as a family. I feel that with my children participating in decisions, large and small, they have a sense of control to their lives. Realistically, they do not have complete control, they are only children. However, by asking their opinions and eliciting conversations among us, their sense of unity with the family is heightened and continuing to develop. The culture in our home is conducive to their growth. The goal is for their adult selves to perform contributing acts as respectable adults in the community.
The 10 characteristics compiled from Greenleaf’s writings by Spears (2002) blend with the leader behaviors found in Liden, et al (2008)’s model. These characteristics, listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, stewardship, commitment to the growth of people, and building community, further compound to demonstrate the pure devotion servant leaders have to their followers. In my case, each day of my life is spent in the commitment to my children, serving to develop their growth in a positive way.
The outcome of my parenting, my servant leadership, varies from day to day. My children are growing into young adults before my eyes. In moments I am aware of the way this organization (my home) is the breeding ground. As I watch my daughter make homemade cards and decorate Easter eggs for the elderly across the street. As I see my son go out of his way to help another boy clean up a spilled bottle of water, while other children simply walk by, makes me see the goal of developing them into decent people is being realized, little by little.
While being a parent, the servant leadership behaviors I display cover the models presented. Combining the culture and context of my home with my behaviors as a parent, leads to outcomes consistent with the servant leadership models. Servant leadership as applied to parenting was never a question to me. As a parent, many things are uncertain. However, the commitment I have to their upbringing, the positive influence I choose to pursue for their benefit is never a question. I am a servant to their lives, for now and always.
References
Northouse, Peter G. (2013). Leadership: Theory and Practice. Sixth Edition. Sage Publications
What a great read! As a parent of two ten year olds I couldn’t agree with you more. I find servant leader behaviors such as putting my children first , helping them grow and succeed, behaving ethically and empowering them, very humbling. I see it as such a privilege to play those roles. According to Northouse, “servant leadership emphasizes that leaders be attentive to the concerns of their followers, empathize with them, and nurture them” (2013, p. 219). You are doing a good job!
What a fantastic example of servant leadership. I would never have come up with it but it makes total sense now that I see it. As parents we spend our days “serving’helping” our children with everything from picking out their clothes to actually serving their food.
I think that this is even more so true for those of us that are single parents. Where we do not have anyone else helping us with our children. I have a four year old that I am teaching to read at the moment. Each day we do more letters and I am servicing him currently by giving him a solid start to his education.
I am in full agreement with you that parenting displays many forms of leadership. I am a parent of a 9 year old and not only am I playing the role of a servant leader myself, I am also playing the role transactional leader most of the time. I find that have to use rewards to help keep my child motivated to do her to do household chores, perform well at school, and to have simply good behavior. While servant leadership is very important for the developmental process for when they become an adult, I don’t think children fully value the leadership that is being given to them. Unlike adult they may appreciate the leadership style you are providing them and in return they display how much they value your approach. With that being said servant leadership is great for kids development, but I don’t is truly value until they are adults and look how the parenting leaders style help them be successful in their adult life.