I couldn’t help but laugh a little when I read this week’s lesson and saw all the “Leader Attributes Universally Viewed as Positive”. What made me laugh wasn’t the list itself but the placement of the list right after the “glass ceiling” montage. There has been a lot of debate about the attributes and qualifications of a stay at home mother who is attempting to reenter to the workforce. Any successful stay at home mother the good ones and even some of the ones who are not so good have every single one of these attributes.
Most people do not put the ability to plan a ten year old birthday party on the same level of corporate coordination. These people have never had to deal with perfect party arrangement details in conjunction with keeping the underdeveloped brains of miniature humans busy from one minute to the next. At least I would hope that a group of grown up people wouldn’t need to be entertained at every turn. You want dependable. Hire someone who has been available every second of everyday for the length of their child’s stay on this earth. Dependable is getting puked on at 3 am by the youngest child and then still getting up at 7o’clock to get the older two off to school on time. If it’s a motivational person that you require to light a spark underneath her followers, watch how fast a mother can get her children to move simply by beginning to count to three. A confidence builder you say? If there’s one thing a stay at home mother gets good at after receiving years of macaroni collages it’s making her child feel like they just finished the Mona Lisa, and sometimes that work of art stays on the refrigerator until the glue wears off and the macaroni ends up underneath the fridge. Plans ahead? Why do you think moms carry big purses, it isn’t because we love lugging around fifty pounds of “just in case” on our shoulder. We are prepared. Sticky fingers, grab a baby wipe, runny nose, here’s a tissue, wet pants, got you covered. As a just leader we must not only be able to maintain peace among the natives when the oldest steals the youngest idea of being a pirate and begins retaliating with biting which is countered by hitting and so on; we must also be able to dish out fair and equal punishment to the offending parties. And then we say things like; “if you both decide to be pirates you can work together and find the hidden treasure I’m going to go bury right now”, win-win. All the while we need to motivate our two year old to potty train and convince them that peeing outside should only be done out of site and not in the neighbors flowerbed. All of that and balancing the budget.
A good leader surely is the combination of inborn traits and learned behavior. I would say that as the rule and not the exception most people can be perfectly groomed to slide into a position of leadership. The fast-paced and ever changing environment of a stay at home mom and her ability to grow with the changes is testament to her ability to learn new things. I’m not saying that every woman who has been a stay at home mom will be a good leader but I am saying that discrediting the knowledge that she has acquired over her years as a mother could prove to be a big mistake.
The role of leadership isn’t taken lightly and neither is motherhood. A person who has successfully raised her children who wishes to return to the work force has definitively had more leadership experience than a 22-year-old college graduate. People who don’t put stock in the fact that sometimes life teaches leadership better than work experience are not allowing the kind of diversity into their workplace that is needed to keep the company moving forward.
And that’s all I have to say about that!
Alexis Mi Kim says
Thanks for a great post! I know many women who have tried to go back to work after taking care of their child/children and I think there’s great attributes and qualifications you can share with your potential employer. I too agree that leader attributes such as dependable, encouraging, and honest probably describe many of the moms I know. Because the potential employer might see the career gap for raising families as having negative implications as stated by WC commentary, I think it is very important on how your sell your skills and make it transferable in the workplace.
I’ve seen many of my friends getting back into workplace by proactively networking as well as spending a lot of time creating a killer chronological resume. I think if you have passion and truly prepare for your upcoming interviews, I’ve seen many of my friends getting jobs very quickly. Good luck!
Matthew J Streng says
Your post stuck out to me because I know someone that is re-entering the workforce after almost 30 years as a stay-at-home mom after a major life change. One of the first questions that she is asked is “What skills do you have?” Her sentiments are very similar to yours- she raised three children that all are college graduates while maintaining a household. To do so, it takes a combination of skills and talents that are only learned in real-life scenarios; no type of education can prepare you for that.
I am a firm believer that leadership is a combination on innate traits and skills that are learned and honed throughout life. How these skills are learned matters as well. I believe that in many cases life experiences are sometimes much better than textbook education, and that an adult full of these experiences could be better prepared for leadership roles than a recent college grad. After all, a company can train you on the specific or technical skills needed if you have the right talent base. I agree with your comment that “People who don’t put stock in the fact that sometimes life teaches leadership better than work experience are not allowing the kind of diversity into their workplace that is needed to keep the company moving forward”.
Good luck!!!
Marissa Weagly says
You are right on! I would love to know at what point motherhood became a shameful profession? When I got out of the military I was asked so many times “What are you going to do when you get out?”. My answer “Be a mom” (I had a three year old and a 3 month old at the time). This would get a snarky response, and I would quickly add “and go to college”. At that point I was then a validated human being again who wasn’t throwing my life away to play CandyLand (talk about a need for negotiation skills, trying playing CandyLand for 2 hours).
Motherhood should once again be celebrated! I am now trying to reenter the work force and I keep having to show creative ways to explain my “job gap”. I surely don’t remember a “job gab”, I remember a lot of hard work! Motherhood not be something we have to “explain away”. I remember getting a call for an interview and the HR rep asked me what experience with kids I had. I told her I had two kids of my own and provided childcare for many kids in my home. And he said “I mean professional child experience”. Needless to say I didn’t go in for an interview.
By shaming and devaluing motherhood society is keeping women under the glass ceiling and out of lucrative careers. “Job gabs” for being a mother shouldn’t be a reason to not hire someone.
Thank you for pointing out the skills needed for parenting!
Marissa
Jeffrey Allen Sanders says
Abilities of a leader should most definitely include multitasking. The juggling routine of a mother is a complex scenario that is unlike any other. In my past experience as a manager, it was my job to hire my own employees. One of the primary skills that I required in my employees was the ability to multitask. They had to be able to talk on the phone while working on the computer, and help those standing in front of them. If you were easily flustered, the job wasn’t for you. In fact it was perfect for moms, and I actually hired quite a few. Work ethic and the ability to handle the ever changing landscape made them extremely desirable. Plus they didn’t give me any lame excuses that they were used to hearing from their kids. There is most definitely a place for moms returning from work. Unfortunately, people nowadays are looking for someone who will be long tenured, so they prefer younger college grads. My mom was a casualty to this. She retired from full time teaching to raise a family, but once we were grown she substituted for years trying to get back to full time, but clearly her age was a detrimental factor. I would highly recommend hiring mothers who are returning to work. Heck, the more kids the better. It’s just more evidence of their ability to juggle and successfully multitask. I hope you can or have been able to find work with a supervisor who believes the same thing as myself.