Transactional Analysis has a special place in my heart. In my high school senior year Social Studies class we read “I’m OK – You’re OK” by Dr. Thomas Harris (1969), which turned out to be one of the most influential books I’ve ever read. “I’m OK – You’re OK” was one of the best-selling pop-psychology self-help books of the 70’s, and was published worldwide in almost 25 languages (Harris, 2015). After explaining the life positions of Parent, Adult, and Child (PAC), Harris states that “we cannot deny the reality of cause and effect” and that although the past influences us, we can make decisions and judgements about the future, including our behavior (Harris, 1969).
It was life-changing for me, for three main reasons…primarily because it was the first time I realized that it wasn’t completely weird that I analyzed everyone and everything (“why do I think that way”, “why does he react that way to her”, “why is my father acting like that”, “why is every teacher so different”, etc, etc), and second because it helped me with social and family relationship problems I was experiencing and could never make sense of as a precocious child or as an outcast teenager. How liberating it was to learn that Parent (the position) doesn’t mean the same as parent (the mother or father) and that when I was being the rational one during a disagreement with Dad, sometimes I was the Adult! I learned how to recognize some of the Parent and Child signals (a parent will frown and sigh, while a child will pout and roll their eyes), and how I could react like an adult (take a deep breath and count to ten) (Harris, 1969). I can easily relate that as well to business discussions with my team leader…when we have unconsciously shifted positions, he becoming the Child and I the Adult, as he rants about a new demand on our team and I absorb the tantrum.
The last but equally important reason is that it was my spark. It was the first time I was introduced to the science of Psychology, and it started a lifelong love and journey to learn more. It was the spark that brought me to where I am today, over 30 years later, reading about Transactional Analysis once again.
References
Harris, T. (1969). I’m OK – You’re OK [Kindle version]. Retrieved from Amazon.com.
Harris, T. (2015). I’m OK – You’re OK [website]. Retrieved from http://www.drthomasharris.com/im-ok-youre-ok-book-thomas-harris/