I was considering the notion of a father as a servant leader. I was further considering whether a father who spoils his child, literally buys anything his child wants and allows the child to do whatever they want, is also a servant leader. The characteristic of a servant leader are, in my opinion, epitomized in fatherhood.
Is a father who teaches his child to work for those things you want and to appreciate those things you get any more or less of a servant leader than a father who buys his child everything and anything they want and establishes no understanding of respect or appreciation? Well, servant leadership first argues that leaders should put followers first, share control, and embrace their growth (Northouse, 2016). Either ‘type’ of father puts his child first, exhibits some sort of shared control, and seemingly embraces their growth. The spoiled child’s father may arguably be a more servant leaning leader. Embracing their growth is very subjective though. It would be hard to argue wither father as more or less servant like in this context.
Servant leaders should not “dominate, direct, or control”, instead they should share control and influence (Northouse, 2016). A father teaching his child to be grateful and appreciative allows the child to do chores or help when asked in order to understand that you don’t get something for nothing. This is guidance and control sharing at its finest. Now the spoiling father seems to share these as well; a child who asks and always gets is learning control as well as influence. Both fathers inspire their child although in very different ways.
Servant leadership findings indicate that in contexts where followers are not open to being guided, supported or empowered, this approach is not effective (Northouse, 2016). As fathers know their child is not always open to being guided especially when they are exploring their independence. There will be times when servant leadership is not effective whether for the spoiled child or not. Children don’t always like to be empowered either, they like it when dad makes the decisions (sometimes) so here too this approach could sometimes be ineffective. As for support, I suppose that depends on what you consider support. Is support of a child being there to talk, comfort, and console? Is support a monetary thing only? I think it is both, supporting emotionally as well as financially, so both fathers win here.
It seems that regardless of a fathers approach to fatherhood as long as he puts the child first, is supportive, shares control to an extent, and embraces their child’s growth is a good servant leader and father. Whether buying everything for your child or teaching them respect and responsibility it is servant leadership. Pick your approach, but as long as you are a father to your child, it does not matter.
Reference
Northouse, P.G. (2016), Leadership: Theory and practice. (7th ed.) Thousand Oaks, CA. Sage Publications.
Jeslynn Theresa Puskar says
This was an excellent demonstration of servant leadership. Being that I am not a parent, I feel like was I educated times two! I found your mention of how servant leaders do not “dominate, direct, or control” to be interesting in terms of parenting because off the top of my head I can think of a few parents who take this less than servant approach. What do you think a father should do in a situation in which a servant leadership style may not be working?
I really enjoyed reading your insight into how spoiling a child can explain servant leadership. Or, I like to think of it as “servant leadership gone too far”. I remember seeing such types of parent when I was growing up and I always thought of them as “pushovers”. Interestingly enough, when I was first learning about servant leadership, I also thought of it as the “pushover” leadership, that is until I thought about it more, and how courageous it can be. Next to transformational leadership, it now stands as my favorite leadership style. The one thing that gets me about parents demonstrating servant leadership through spoiling their child is the lack of “foresight”. Clearly, while attempting to serve a child by giving them everything will present problems in the future and being that servant leaders have the ability to know the future, perhaps the satisfaction they receive in serving their child outweighs the potential damage from spoiling them? Also, I am wondering how spoiling someone in the workplace would benefit the individual or the organization.
References
Northouse, Peter G. (2016). Leadership: Theory and practice. 7th ed. Sage Publications
sam6315 says
I think each type of father is a servant leader, so it isn’t about their type of leadership; this is more about what kind of future leaders they will raise. Are the fathers critical parents or nurturing parents? In an article I read Mitch McCrimmon discusses servant leaders should have the ability to encourage followers to be self-sufficient and allowed to stay ahead of expectations coming their way (McCrimmon, 2010.) The father you discuss that spoils his child is creating a human that will rely on others to get what they want while the one who earns rewards learns self-reliance and gratitude (Clawson, n.d.)
It is interesting to translate fatherhood into a style of leadership that correlates to the work place. In some sense servant leadership is paternal in the workplace. Employees want a supportive leader that puts their needs first, but if that dynamic turns into a parent-child type of relationship the employee motivation could be in jeopardy (McCrimmon, 2010.) Nobody actually wants to be treated like a child, but if the behaviors benefit them, they might have a different opinion.
So while both fathers are servant leaders, both kids will likely be different leaders when they grow up. It is up to those fathers to teach the behaviors they would be proud of.
References:
Clawson, A. (n.d.). Psychology of Everyday Life: Does spoiling your kids make them leaders?Frequently asked in. Retrieved November 5, 2015, from https://www.quora.com/Psychology-of-Everyday-Life/Does-spoiling-your-kids-make-them-leaders
Northouse, P.G. (2016) Leadership Theory and Practice Sage Publications Thousand Oaks, CA Print
McCrimmon, M. (2010, August 16). Why servant leadership is a bad idea. Retrieved November 7, 2015, from http://www.management-issues.com/opinion/6015/why-servant-leadership-is-a-bad-idea/