Quite a few of the theories that we have discussed in the course touch upon the importance of interpersonal communication skills and the connection a leader has with their followers being beneficial. I have been able to find many connections between leadership styles that rely on relationships and managers that I have had a positive relationship with. I have also noticed that a lot of the employees that I have trained I have a positive connection with and have taken the time to really get to know. This brought me to think about some of the more important topics that are discussed in management training that I had to go through before becoming a supervisor. One important “rule” was the fine line between manager and friend. There was extensive discussion about topics and types of relationships that are or are not appropriate or tolerated between managers and line-level employees. Reflecting upon this, I found myself thinking; Can a manager truly achieve a personal connection with an employee, without crossing any perimeters set up by Human Resources (HR), or is the line too fine?
While there are several conversations that can be had between manager and line employee, I have witnessed and had conversations that would be considered borderline unacceptable according to HR policy. There are certain topics that are discouraged from being discussed in order to maintain a boundary and create a level of professionalism. Some of these topics include religion, sexual preference and activity, politics and finances (Hyatt Place State College, 2017). I have never had a manager ask me about any of these topics or was “expected” to share about them, but that does not mean they do not come up in conversation at work. A trait that I wrote a discussion post on was sociability; a leader’s inclination to seek out pleasant social relationships. They are friendly, outgoing, courteous, tactful and diplomatic”(Northouse, 2016, p. 25). The lesson that we had on traits were very focused on characteristics that helped with a person’s social functioning. Humans are social creatures and our happiness is often dependent on the positive relationships that we are able to create and maintain. Equity Theory suggests that “close relationships- friendships or romances- persist to the degree that both people involved believe that what they are getting out of the relationship is proportional to what they are putting into it” (Peterson, 2006, p. 255). This theory which I learned about in a Positive Psychology course reflects a lot of what is stated in our lessons and textbook for this class. That is, connectivity is vital to the cohesiveness of a leader and their followers. There are even styles of leadership that have a “focus almost exclusively on personal and social needs of followers”, such as the country club style of leadership (PSU WC, 2019, L5). I have never worked for a manager that over stepped boundaries and asked inappropriate questions, or ones that are “too personal”. I have had manager where because I was close and comfortable with them, if such topics were contributing to my job performance I was able to have a conversation about it with them. It is very important to carry ones self professionally regardless of level of employment status, but that doesn’t change the fact that we are humans with emotions that can spill over into this environment. Path-goal Theory states that being a supportive leader “consists of being friendly and approachable as a leader and includes attending to the well-being and human needs of followers” (Northouse, 2016, p. 117). Days that I was able to vent about a fight with my best friend or even issues with a boyfriend were days that I was able to feel emotionally and socially supported by management in order to be able to refocus and excel at my job.
This brings me back to my original thought; Can a manager truly achieve a personal connection with an employee, without crossing any perimeters set up by Human Resources (HR), or is the line too fine? The answer I have found from personal experience is a gentle no. The reason I label the no as “gentle” is because again, I have never worked for a manager who crossed any lines or initiated conversations that I felt were uncomfortable and inappropriate. I don’t encourage or condone a manager overstepping boundaries. That being said, sometimes you have to in order to bring people together to get the job done. It is very hard to sit silent when someone is opening up to you about something heavy on their mind. This may even lead you to share a personal experience or opinion in order to complete the cycle of communication and reciprocate. I think that the leaders who are willing to tip toe on this line of professionalism are the ones who understand that the social aspect of human beings needs nurtured if a positive and successful work environment is to be achieved.
Works Cited:
Northouse, P. G. (2016). Leadership: Theory and Practice. 7th Edition. Los Angeles: SAGE Publications, Inc.
Peterson, C. (2006). Primer in Positive Psychology. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
Williams, J. (2019). PSYCH 485: Style and Situational Approaches: Lessons 5 [Power Point]. Pennsylvania State University: World Campus. Retrieved from: https://psu.instructure.com/courses/1972967/modules/items/25704829\