Motherhood as a Servant Leader
Introduction
The paradox of serving those you lead, to me, seems natural, as a mother who serves my growing son’s needs while leading him towards growth, knowledge, and independence, I live this paradox every day. From the first day that I became a mother, I have been performing a variety of tasks to meet my son’s physical, and emotional needs. I have put his needs before my own. I often attempt to help him to be stronger and more confident so that he can claim his independence. According to Northouse (2016), “servant leaders put followers first,” they empower their followers, they help them to develop and grow into their full potential (p.225).
Servant leadership was initially coined by Robert K. Greenleaf, who encouraged the use of communication to build group cohesiveness, which he credited his servant leadership to the Hermann Hesse’s (1956) novel The Journey to the East (Northouse, 2016, p 227). It is from the writing of Robert K. Greenleaf, that Spears (2002) as cited by Northouse (2016) set out to identify the ten characteristics that have been considered to be the first model of servant leadership (p. 227). I would like to demonstrate that the ten characteristics of the servant leadership approach can be applied to my motherhood experience, and then apply the most recent servant leadership model, that was based on Liden, Wayne, Zhao, and Henderson (2008) and Liden, Panaccio, Hu, and Meuser (2014) as cited by Northouse (2016). This model has three main components: antecedent conditions, servant leader behaviors, and leadership outcomes. Through the application of the servant leadership model to my leadership with my son, I will show that these servant leader behaviors will successfully lead to my son’s performance and growth, and motherhood is servant leadership
Ten Characteristics of a Servant Leader Approach
The first characteristic is listening, which is described as communication between the leader and the follower, and the servant leader needs to engage in active listening as a first step, which allows the follower to feel acknowledged and validated (Northouse, 2016, p. 227). As my son develops, and have his own ideas and thoughts, and sometimes these will lead him in the wrong direction, so as a parent, it is essential to take the time to listen to his viewpoints, it is by listening to him that he feels like his opinions have value, and he knows that his ideas were recognized.
The second characteristic is empathy, which refers to looking at the world through someone else’s eyes, to truly understand the thoughts and feelings of others, it is through these actions that the followers will feel confirmed and validated (Northouse, 2016, p. 227). By demonstrating to my son that I can share in his feelings, and I can also understand his views, I can provide him with the confirmation that I have indeed seen the situation from his point of view, which will allow me to understand his feelings fully.
The third characteristic is healing, which is the connection between the leader and the follower and is centered around caring and being concerned with the personal well-being of the follower, helping to provide support so the follower can overcome the situation (Northouse, 2016, p. 227). After understanding my son’s feeling, I can then demonstrate to him that I care by asking him how this situation makes him feel, and why he might feel this way. I think it is these steps that lead to understanding and growth.
The fourth characteristic is awareness, which refers to being intensely attuned to the situations of political environments, physical, and social so that an accurate evaluation can be made (Northouse, 2016, p. 227). As a mother, I demonstrate to my son that I have awareness every time I make the decision to either step in and assist, or realize that my involvement would be least beneficial to the situation. By being proactive and picking up on situational cues, I can adapt in a way that allows my son to learn and grow from every opportunity.
The fifth characteristic is persuasion, which is persistent communication that is clearly aimed at convincing the other person to change their mind, by using a sensitive “gentle nonjudgmental argument” (Northouse, 2016, p. 227). I often use a slow-paced back and forth dialog to gradually provide reasons why one idea is better than the other, I think it is essential for my son to think about the different options and in the end make the correct decision on his own, giving him a sense of ownership in the decision.
The sixth characteristic is conceptualization which can be considered as the ability to view a situation and convey how an adjustment made affect the goal, each small action now leads to a larger picture in the end (Northouse, 2016, p. 227). As a mother sometimes you have to consider what is best for the long run, even if it entails making undesirable changes in the now to provide my son the opportunity to learn a more significant lesson.
The seventh characteristic is foresight, which is the ability to have an idea about the future, to consider past experiences and in connection with the current situation, as to predict what is most likely to happen in the future (Northouse, 2016, p. 228). As a mother, this characteristic is essential because my son often follows the same thought processes, and tends to react to similar situations in the same manner.
The eighth characteristic is stewardship, which involves taking on the responsibility of the leadership role, and carefully managing the followers in a way that demonstrates the best purpose for doing anything (Northouse, 2016, p. 228). As a mother, I am also responsible for my role and all the details that are included, the things that I do, and don’t do, managing the day to day tasks as well as doing a good job, so to help facilitate a well-rounded individual who can contribute to our family, and society in general.
The ninth characteristic is a commitment to the growth of the followers, which involves a pledge to help the followers to grow, both personally and professionally. This can be demonstrated by going above the norm, to provide each follower an opportunity to develop in their career by helping them to gain new work skills and thinking on decision-making duties (Northouse, 2016, p. 228). This characteristic is at the core of being a mother because it is committing to the growth of my son as a unique person who has intrinsic values. This can include facilitating growth opportunities through life skills, or on a personal emotional level with self-esteem.
The tenth and final characteristic is building community, which allows people to feel safe, secure, and connected with others who have the same interest, as to relate to others and identify with a more significant cause. Servant leadership fosters these types of connections while facilitating opportunities for each to express their own ideas (Northouse, 2016, p. 229). As a mother, our shared community involves family members, animals, neighbors, and friends. This allows my son to feel connected to others who have similar interests but allows him the freedom to be himself while knowing that he is safe and secure. This feeling of connectedness enables my son to fully express himself all while being part of something more substantial,
Antecedent Conditions
My servant leadership process was affected by context and culture, leader attributes, and follower receptivity. The first antecedent condition is context and culture, according to Northouse (2016), the organizational context and particular culture play a role in how servant leadership is presented (p. 231). The type of context could range from fast-paced management, where task orientated behaviors are more important than caring for others, as in a medical hospital (Northouse, 2016, p.231). The culture also determines how the power is distributed if it is a highly vertical hierarchical power structure or the power is shared amongst all (p. 231). My Servant Leadership context has an operative norm of a caring, nurturing, supportive but with structure. Our families culture has an overall hierarchical power, but it is distributed and shared when appropriate. The second antecedent condition is a leader attribute, which is considered to be what the leader brings into the servant leadership role; this can be traits, beliefs, and ideas. These attributes are all different and can be determined by various aspects such as one’s regard about morals, and their emotional intelligence levels (p. 232). My leader attributes of dispositions are that I have a desire to serve as well as lead (p. 232). The third antecedent condition is follower receptivity, which has shown to be The receptivity of followers is an important aspect to consider since it has been demonstrated that followers are different in how they respond to a servant leadership style (p. 232). There has been empirical evidence that showed when was matched between leaders and followers, and the servant leadership had a positive impact (p. 232). Performance and citizenship behaviors were also shown to have been improved (p. 232).
Servant Leader Behaviors
According to Liden, Wayne, et al.’s (2008) as cited by Northouse (2016), seven core servant leader behaviors are the central focus in the process of servant leadership (p. 233).
Individually, each of these behaviors makes a unique contribution. The first servant leader behaviors are conceptualizing, which is having a deep understanding of the facts and principals that deal with the situation and to think critically about the different aspects of the problem for an absolute understanding. This would allow for a creative and justified solution, that was in line with the overall goal (Northouse, 2016, p. 233). An excellent example of this is when my son comes in from the backyard, and is upset with his friends’ toy in hand. He is displaying angry behavior and does not typically take toys from his friends. Instead of addressing the outward expression, I need to think critically about what has happened to create this problem, because I know how he reacts to situations, based on history, I can make assumptions about the cause, and create a solution that will get things back on track, towards our overall goal.
The second servant leader behavior is emotional healing, which includes being gentle with the complicated feelings and concerns of others, and putting effort towards delicately addressing the situation, while being supportive (Northouse, 2016, p. 234). A servant leader could make myself available to listen and provide support (Northouse, 2016, p. 232). From my example above, I would sympathetically inquire about his current concerns and ask how he is feeling. Often his display of angry behaviors on the outside, typically means that he is feeling very hurt on the inside.
The third servant leader behavior is putting followers first, which includes taking time out from your own tasks to address their needs and concerns, to show the follower that they are a priority (Northouse, 2016, p. 232). From my example above, I may have been in the middle of something when my son stomped into the house and was obviously displaying angry behaviors. As a servant leader, I will stop what I was doing and demonstrate to my son that his well-being is a priority of mine.
The fourth servant leader behavior is helping followers grow and succeed, which includes having a good understanding of your followers’ goals (personally & professionally), and assisting in achieving their goals (Northouse, 2016, p. 234). Additionally, through mentoring your followers, you demonstrate that the follower’s goals are a priority to you, and through assisting them, they can grow and succeed (Northouse, 2016, p. 234). From my example above, I can help my son to grow and succeed by taking the time to discuss the problem and mentoring him on how the situation can be handled differently, as to produce a different outcome. Additionally, focusing on the overall goal of learning how to interact with others and manage feeling, by mastering each problem, one at a time, his larger goal becomes more of a reality.
The fifth servant leader behavior is behaving ethically, which includes making the right choice, doing the right thing, demonstrating doing the right thing, in the right way, and at the right time (Northouse, 2016, p. 235) — focusing on being open, fair, and honest with followers (Northouse, 2016, p. 235). From my example above, I could show my ethical behavior by demonstrating to my son that it is important always to do the right thing, even if it is hard. I could tell him that it is not ok to take toys from others even if they are mean to you.
The sixth servant leader behavior is empowering, which includes giving control to the followers, by allowing them to experience freedom and independence, you can lead the followers towards making decisions on their own, which will help to produce the followers to be self-sufficient (Northouse, 2016, p. 235). From my example above, I can help lead my son to understand that the toy is not his and needs to be returned, and it is up to him to make the right decision. By allowing him to make this decision, he learns that he is in control of his behavior and by returning the toy he has gained power over his actions. According to Northouse (2016), “empowerment builds followers’ confidence in their own capacities to think and act on their own because they are given the freedom to handle difficult situations in the way they feel is best” (p. 235).
The seventh servant leader behavior is creating value for the community, which includes giving back, being involved, and volunteer for community service (Northouse, 2016, p. 235). By encouraging positive community behaviors, the goals of the organization can connect with the surrounding community and be shared with a follower, creating a broader purpose that is even larger then organization. From my example above, I can encourage positive community behaviors by participating in clean-up programs, this will show my son the importance of giving back and helping to better the community environment, so it stays healthy.
Leadership Outcome
Leadership outcomes are thought of as the central goal of servant leadership, including nurturing individual growth, strengthening organizational, and having a positive societal impact (Northouse, 2016, p. 236). From these, the leadership outcome that fits with my example is the follower performance and growth outcome, which is the focus and recognition of the follower’s achievements, this will help the follower to realize their full capabilities while leading them towards greater self-actualization (p. 236).
In Conclusion
Throughout the course of this example, my son’s performance improved and he experienced emotional healing which helped him better control his behavior, he made ethical decisions, felt empowered, and has grown through the process. The application of the servant leadership model to my example has demonstrated that motherhood is servant leadership.
Reference
Northouse, P. G. (2016). Leadership: Theory and Practice. Los Angeles: Sage Publications, Inc.
Pennsylvania State University World Campus (2019). Leadership in Work—PSYCH 485. Lesson 11: Introduction to Team Leadership Retrieved from https://psu.instructure.com/courses/1972967/modules/items/25704942
Amanda Elizabeth Drumheiser says
Carri,
I like your analysis of motherhood as a servant leadership, that is a very unique and creative stance. I appreciate how you broke down your post into different subsections so that it was more directive and easier to read. Also, your post is very thorough as you mention all 10 characteristics and the leadership behaviors, this shows that motherhood exemplifies all aspects of this theory. Your personal anecdotes made the post very interesting.
Great job,
Amanda