Now that I have your attention let me explain my title. For many years one of the struggles that I have had personally is how to turn off being the boss. At work, I am the boss, the leader, the decision-maker, the person to get things done. However, at home, my husband expects to be this person. He is also the boss at his work and has the same responsibilities of being the leader, the decision-maker, and the person to get things done. So, as you can imagine, we butt heads often when it comes to who is the boss at home.
What I have learned so far this semester is we are each this way because of several factors. Take, for example, the trait approach description of the Great Man Theory, we both have several of the traits identified by Kilpatrick and Locke (1991): the drive, the desire to lead, we are honest, we are self-confident and have knowledge of our business (PSU, L2, 2019). Also, if we look at the Psychodynamic Approach, both of our leadership styles were influenced by how we were raised or our family of origin (PSU, L3, 2019). Lastly, what we need to improve upon are our situational approach skills. We need to understand better directive and supportive behaviors and how we can utilize this knowledge so that we both become better leaders at home.
One of the things that I have tried to do that has helped with the tension when you have two bosses in the house, is picking your battles. We can relate this conduct to situational approaches. My husband becomes the directive leader, and I become the supporting figure. The directive behavior is defined as what we are doing, how we are doing something, and when we are doing it, whereas the supportive behavior is defined as listening, facilitating, and providing emotional support (Northouse, 2016, p.94-95). Situational leadership also provides the flexibility of allowing both of us to be leaders in our household. However, it also goes both ways, and my husband must learn how to be a supportive leader versus a directive leader.
P.S. Lesson learned during the research for this blog post – never Google how to be submissive at home unless you know what you are looking for.
Northouse, P. G. (2016). Chapter 5: situational approach (pp. 93-114). Los Angeles, CA: SAGE.
Pennsylvania State University World Campus (2019). PSYCH 485 Lesson 02: trait approach. Retrieved from https://psu.instructure.com/courses/2008237/modules/items/27074604
Pennsylvania State University World Campus (2019). PSYCH 485 Lesson 03: psychodynamic approach. Retrieved from https://psu.instructure.com/courses/2008237/modules /items/27074622