Standing in Your Shadow Self
How Knowing Your Self Can Help You Become a Better Leader
This Shadow Self, a concept developed by psychologist Carl Jung, is one of the five important concepts in the Psychodynamic Approach to leadership. The Shadow Self plays a key role in understanding oneself. As defined in the LER 485 Lesson 3 commentary, “the shadow self is the negative aspects of oneself and is often hidden to the person upon self-examination” (Canvas LMS, 2020). This is the part of an individual’s personality that is generally considered “unacceptable” and because of this, people tend to deny its existence. Unfortunately, the Shadow Self is often evident to others and affects the way people respond to us as leaders.
As explained in Northouse, “at the heart of leadership lies narcissism” (2016, p.305). Narcissism can range from a normal, healthy level of self-interest to an unhealthy, pathological self-absorption. Narcissism results in a leader’s conviction which inspires loyalty from followers. However, in leadership, it is those who experience “constructive narcissism” that tend to be well-balanced leaders. Unfortunately, those who have experienced “reactive narcissism” tend to fixate on things such as power and status. These are the sort of leaders who aren’t open to criticism and feel that they can do no wrong. They tend to rely on their own reality and are blind to their shadow self.
While many people would like to deny their shadow self, there is the belief that stepping into one’s shadow self and accepting it as a step in becoming more self-aware, can actually help one become a better leader. Self-awareness is essential to being a great leader and understanding your shadow self can help you become more balanced as you are no longer blind to the thoughts and behaviors that you might perceive as being negative or “dark”. Knowing this will help you to set boundaries for yourself as well as provide you with an idea of areas you may want to work on. Once you can accept and understand yourself, this will allow you to accept and understand others, thus creating healthier relationships, both personally and professionally.
References
Northouse, P. G. (2016). Leadership: theory and practice. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc.
canvas learning management system. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://psu.instructure.com/courses/2040131/modules/items/28001686
Jacobson, S., Harley Therapy. (2019, October 11). Your ‘Shadow’ Self – What It Is, And How It Can Help You. Retrieved from https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/shadow-self.htm
The shadow self is an unconscious side of ourselves that we must really put in an effort to become self-aware and understand our shadow. It is seen to be as a negative thing and that is because the shadow is what one perceives as dark and weak about themselves which is why we try to hide it and deny it being there (Jacobson, 2019). The negativity is one’s own perspective on life and the different levels of self-esteem. The shadow cannot be healed or cannot be getting rid of because it is an essential part of YOU. When one faces their shadow, they become more wholesome and balanced, it can even help improve relationships in your life (Jacobson, 2019).
There are two senses of the shadow self: personal and archetypal. The personal are specific features of an individual that they repress or defend against because one sees it as threatening. The archetypal is the dark side of human nature as a whole in general terms. Some of the themes that are seen are evil, aggressiveness and selfishness. These dark sides are usually depicted as devils or demons (Henriques, 2017). I always hear people say that everyone is fighting their own demons. Everyone faces different demons but most do not face their demons they allow for their demons to take control of them which can send them into a downward spiral. I know personally one of my demons is my self-confidence when it comes to my appearance. Like there are times that I look in the mirror and I do not like what I see and I break down and cry. I let that affect how I feel for the rest of the day and I lash out at people over the littlest things. Understanding one’s shadow can be helpful because most of defensive behavior is one trying to repress their shadow from coming to light (Henriques, 2017).
References:
Jacobson, S., Harley Therapy. (2019, October 11). Your ‘Shadow’ Self – What It Is, And How It Can Help You. Retrieved from https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/shadow-self.htm
Henriques, G. Psychology Today. (2017, February 21). Can You See Your Shadow? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/201702/can-you-see-your-shadow
We have all seen leaders who display reactive narcissism and who never admit to any mistakes. These leaders, while initially displaying strength through power and authority, are often covering up deep insecurity. “Narcissistic leaders have grandiose belief systems and leadership styles, and are generally motivated by their needs for power and admiration rather than empathetic concern for the constituents and institutions they lead” (Rosenthal, Pittinsky, 2006). By gaining admiration from others, these leaders create a false sense of self-worth based solely on external validation. In their article “The Dark Side of Leadership”, McIntosh and Rima outline some of the basic elements that can explain the origin of this type of behavior. They mention basic needs not being met, such as love and acceptance in childhood, which could result in an emotional debt that manifests as unhealthy behaviors. Narcissists are often victims of traumatic childhood experiences who were forced to “change their narrative” in order to reduce their feelings of cognitive dissonance (McIntosh, Rima, 1997).
The paradox for narcissists is that their failures, insecurities, and unfulfilled needs for parental behavior can drive feelings of ambition, pride, and a tendency towards perfection (McIntosh, Rima, 1997). It is amazing how these feelings can lead to brokenness and substance abuse in some individuals, but can actually propel others to positions of great authority. If we look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we can see that when certain experiences or events threaten us in one of our need areas or when we are deprived in any way, we should expect the ability to meet that need to become a controlling element of our personality (McIntosh, Rima, 1997).
References
McIntosh, G. L., & Rima, S. D. (1997). Overcoming the Darkside of Leadership. Baker Books.
Rosenthal, S. A., & Pittinsky, T. L. (2006, November 28). Narcissistic leadership. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1048984306001111
Pennsylvania State University World Campus (2020). PSYCH 485 Lesson 2: Trait Approach. Retrieved from https://psu.instructure.com/courses/2045005/modules/items/28166534