Leaders are everywhere. They are in businesses, in hospitals, and doctors’ offices. They have jobs at high schools and universities. They even take care of animals and dedicate their lives to helping others. Likewise, our parents are leaders and the dynamic is not that much different. From the moment we are born, our parents make a very important choice to raise and protect us. They share a common goal for us and make it their responsibility and number one priority. Although parents share this same goal, they often have two very different parenting styles which has a lot to do with how their children view them as leaders.
I grew up in a bit of a divided family. My mother and father had very different parental leadership styles and their household relationship caused a gendered environment. This definitely contributed to the division that we experienced. My mother was the caretaker of the family, but not only of the children. She also took care of the laundry, the dishes, and anything my father needed help with. This included making his coffee and packing his lunch before work. She always made sure that everything was to his liking. Judging by my mother’s personality and need to care for others as well as the gentle way that she raised us, I would say that she utilized servant leadership quite obviously. Servant leadership is an approach that describes the leadership process as being more so about the followers than the leader (Looking at Leadership Through Many Lenses, Lesson 1). My mom’s parental style embodies this form of leadership because she always puts the needs of her followers (in this case, myself and my brother and sometimes my father) before her own. She prioritizes her followers’ opinions to help encompass her idea of leadership and how she can best serve her children and husband.
In comparison, my father has always been the sole “bread-winner” in the family. He never spent much time at home helping my mother raise my brother and I, and he was definitely not the laundry type. His sole idea of leadership is very similar to the styles and skills approach as well as the psychodynamic approach. The styles and skills approach describes leadership as having an “emphasis on the behavior of the leader” and a desire to improve (Looking at Leadership Through Many Lenses, Lesson 1). The psychodynamic approach states that leaders who understand their psychological characteristics and those of their followers are more likely to be successful (Looking at Leadership Through Many Lenses, Lesson 1). To clarify, my father was very involved in his career and he always wanted to be the best that he could be in order to provide for his family. Therefore, he believed that it was always possible for him to improve and his belief in hard work is what contributed to his support of the styles and skills approach. Likewise, my father’s parental leadership styles embodied the psychodynamic approach because he was very in tune with the emotions and psychological makeup of others. This made him a great negotiator but he was also very understanding of others, including his children. His use of the psychodynamic approach allowed him to understand the minds of his children and how he could instill in them the qualities needed to fulfill a prosperous life.
In conclusion, our parents are the first individuals to expose us to the many different forms of leadership. Just as a manager might interact with their subordinates, our parents helped us set and accomplish goals, understand right from wrong, comprehend new ideas, and learn the necessary skills to have successful futures. It is obvious that many parents are also active leaders in our schools, communities, and extracurriculars as coaches, mentors, tutors, and our biggest fans, but they leave the most impact on our lives when they are there for us, teaching us how to be the best we can be. They may not always be perfect, but their commitment to our development makes them some of the most influential leaders in our lives, for the worst and for the better.
REFERENCES
Hamel, R. (n.d.). Lesson 1: Introduction to Leadership, 2021
First of all, I would have never thought to look at parents as leaders…and I’m a parent myself. I loved how you developed that unique perspective and provided us with a personal example of your own parents. The entire post was an amazing analysis of parents as leaders, but I did tend to focus on the example of servant leadership that you used to describe your mother. In my opinion, most females probably look at the role your mother took on as being “weak” or “a servant”. I appreciate that as you were describe her role in the home you called you, your brother, and your dad her followers. You put her in the position of the leader even though she was not considered the “bread-winner”. You still acknowledged how she was still a leader just in a different position. Same thing with your father, he was a leader just in a different position. Therefore, this post really demonstrates how leadership occurs in different styles, with different people, in different situations. It supports my belief that leadership is not bias. It is not only for one type of individuals. Leadership is something inside of all of us.
It is so interesting to analyze one’s own parents style of leadership. My relationship with my parents and the role they play in my life is very similar to yours. I never thought of my mother as exhibiting the servant-leadership style, but she does in fact. The way that she takes care for myself and my siblings through acts of service such as cooking, doing laundry, and driving us is very much reflective of this. My dad also, like yours, exhibits more of a psychodynamic approach to leadership in the sense that he also takes care of us by working and providing, not so much in a servant way like my mother but in a way where we follow and look up to him and work together towards a communal goal. I’d be curious to consider the leadership styles between siblings, and I wonder if these would differ based on age dynamic. I definitely share different leadership styles with my younger sister than with my older brother.