I was a happy, free, carless 21 year old. I went to culinary school. I went to work as a bartender. I went home and partied with my friends. I lived in my own apartment. I came and went as I pleased. I didn’t care about anyone else or anything else, except having fun. I was a bit narcissistic, as I was so confident in myself and I was self-centered (Northouse, 2016). This was a period in my life where I was definitely a leader, as I was at my job for so long that I was a closing server, (which is a server who manages the other servers, and the new employees always looked up to me to make the most money each night), but I was exhibiting the dark side of personality. The dark side of personality is defined as traits that hinder a leader from succeeding in a proper way (Williams, 2018). Narcissism is one of these traits on the dark side. Looking back at the type of leader I was at my job, I can see that I was not a successful leader. I expected people to copy me and not ask questions. I wanted silence and them to learn by watching me work. I wasn’t helpful. I was a terrible leader. But I was too blinded by my self-confidence, that I never noticed. Until, I became a mom.
I became a mom in the middle of my schooling. It wasn’t planned. But it was exciting and scary all at once. My boyfriend was done college already, but I wasn’t. I didn’t think I could be a mom. I was only 21. I had my whole life ahead of me. But my boyfriend (now husband) decided that we would become parents. So parents, we became. Once I had my son, the second I saw his face, I knew I had to change. I no longer possessed the self-confidence I did before. I was in new territory where I knew absolutely nothing. But this is how I learned to be a good leader. All of a sudden, I had this little person who was looking up to me for everything. I had to be a good leader to be a good mom. This is when my good personality qualities appeared. I was emotionally stable, which means I was calm, and when I failed, I didn’t take it personally, I just asked for help (Williams, 2018). I was dependable; I worked hard and I followed through with what I said. I helped others in a better way (Williams, 2018).
Having a baby completely changed me for the better and I became a leader in a way that I would want to be lead. I now was the type of person others looked up too, and someone I would want to look up to myself. I was a confident leader, but self-confident in a great way, not a narcissistic way.
Northouse, P. G. (2016). Leadership: Theory and Practice. Los Angeles: Sage Publications.
Williams, Jason (2018). Trait approach. Implications of FFM. PSYCH 485. Retrieved May 17, 2018 from https://psu.instructure.com/courses/1940315/modules/items/24597429