As an Organizational Leadership major, I have learned a lot about the different approaches and theories regarding leadership. As a soldier in the US Army, you would think that this information would be most applicable to my day job. However, I have found my lessons far more pertinent to my job as a father to three small children. So many of the concepts and ideals I have been learning have helped me and my approach to raising children. As I’ve considered the range of methods we have studied in this course, I began to consider which leadership theory I most want to emulate as a dad. Though ideally I will be able to take many aspects from multiple different theories, I think the transformational leadership approach fits the most into the father I am and the father I am striving to be. Specifically, I was able to apply the leader and follower characteristics to myself as a parent.
As I mentioned previously, I have three children. Jack, 8, is the child I can relate to the most. He loves reading and tends to be quiet. He also has one of my negative character traits and can internalize his emotions. Getting him to open up about his feelings can be very difficult, which is something I understand. Charlotte, 7, has the complete opposite problem. She wears her heart on her sleeve and can be very intense. She has a short temper, but in the next moment can be the most loving child ever. With her strength of will, my wife and I always joke that she is either going to grow up to be a strong leader… or a super villain. Finn, 4, is still developing and is a wild card. That term is especially relatable because his personality is still somewhat unknown, but he is also extremely wild. He is high energy and is always talking or asking a question. He is known to play hard and loud up until the moment he falls fast asleep from exhaustion. He’s a handful now, but I am hopefully that he will calm down a bit shortly.
Basics of Transformational Leadership
Having provided a quick overview of my children, I wanted to take a look at how transformational leadership fits into the picture of how I am currently parenting, and how I want to improve. Transformational leadership has become very popular and is linked to some of the greatest leaders in history (like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr) (Northouse, 2016). The defining characteristic of this approach is the leader’s ability to inspire his or her followers into investing in a larger purpose for the team and going beyond a straight-forward transactional relationship (Bass, 1990). This approach really taps into the part of human nature that drives individuals to want to believe in something bigger than themselves. While transactional leadership can be used to create an initial basis for the leader-follower relationship, transformational leadership has been shown to take groups to the next level in regards to effectiveness and performance (Bass, Avolio, Jung, & Berson, 2003). These are the kinds of results I want to replicate in my own family as me and my wife act as the leaders to my children as the followers.
Leader Characteristics
Transformational leadership can be a broad and widespread concept and it is helpful to narrow down the scope of the analysis. In this situation, I wanted to focus on the leader and follower characteristics presented in our lesson. The attributes that have been found is transformational leaders are vision, rhetorical skills, image and trust building, and personalized leadership (Pennsylvania State University, 2018).
- Vision: As discussed, a key part of transformational leadership is getting all the followers personally invested in the larger goal of the team. This vision is future-focused and attempts to solve the problems of the group (Northouse, 2016). This is something my wife and I have made into a priority with the kids. We are always talking about “Team Murray” with the kids and try to put their actions into the perspective of how it affects the family as a whole. For example, if my daughter doesn’t want to do her daily chores (which happens often) we try to talk to her about how someone else in the family will have to do more work because of her decision and it hurts the family. We so believe in the vision that we had Team Murray shirts made for everyone in the family (with numbers on the back correlated to everyone’s age). In addition, we have a list of family values listed on the refrigerator as a constant reminder of what we believe in and what we are striving to be.
- Rhetorical Skills: This characteristic refers to a leader’s ability to express his or her vision and how well they can inspire motivation among followers (Northouse, 2016). This is definitely an area of improvement for me and my wife. Though we know the vision we want to share with our kids, sometimes we struggle to convey it to the kids. Oftentimes, I can see them tune me out when I’m trying to paint the big picture (as kids often do). It is difficult to express a larger message to kids without it turning into a “parent lecture”. It can be especially challenging with three children and any discussions have to take into consideration the age, maturity, and personality of each kid.
- Image/Trust Building: A transformational leader can display this characteristic through confidence and moral stability (Northouse, 2016). The followers of a transformational leadership must not only believe fully in the vision of the group, but also in the leader. This confidence must be rooted in personal trust. This is something very important to me and my wife. We are constantly telling our kids that they can talk to us about anything and trust us with their thoughts and feelings. Also, we try to display honesty with our kids by being open with them when we mess up and apologizing.
- Personalized Leadership: This characteristic is probably the one most closely related to parenting. It involves a personal relationship between the leader and follower that takes into account the emotional state of the individuals (Northouse, 2016). This is also probably the easiest area for me and my wife to maintain. We try to spend a lot of time together as a family, especially while the kids are still young. We have a dedicated Family Night every Friday evening that includes pizza and either board games or a movie. Every night normally ends with reading a book together before the kids go to bed. Also, we make a lot of effort to give the kids as much one-on-one time as possible. This can be difficult with three kids and a busy schedule, but time alone with each child is when we are able to bond the most. This shared time never feels mandatory or compulsory, but instead functions as an output of our closeness as a family.
Follower Characteristics
Because of how much of transformational leadership is reliant on how the followers respond to their leaders, the attributes of the subordinate individuals is critical as well to the leadership style’s success (Northouse, 2016). The follower traits that are most supportive of transformational leadership are identification with leader and vision, heightened emotional levels, willing subordination, and feelings of empowerment (Pennsylvania State University, 2018).
- Identification with Leader/Vision: This characteristic is shown when the followers are so invested in and inspired by the leader’s vision that they truly believe it will help address any issues they might have (Northouse, 2016). This is why we made the Team Murray shirts for the parents and not just the kids. We wanted the kids to know that we are all in this together and when everyone is doing well, the team is doing well. Likewise, the team suffers when one member is struggling and we have to work together to help them. Sometimes this area can be difficult when the kids don’t think we as the parents know what is best and have their best intentions in mind with our decisions.
- Heightened Emotional Levels: This is one area where two of my children have no problem. My daughter and younger son are very emotional and expressive about our family (and everything else). Normally, our concern with them is channeling the emotion towards something positive and constructive. My oldest son, however, can sometimes be hesitant to demonstrate his emotions. Though he may believe strongly in the vision (as his parents as leaders), we are working to help him feel comfortable being more expressive, for the good of the whole family.
- Willing Subordination: I am sure this is something every parent struggles with. This follower characteristic involves the kids willingly submitting to the direction and instruction of their leaders (parents) (Northouse, 2016). As you can imagine, my daughter has the most issues with this attribute. She is extremely hard-headed and stubborn, which causes her to be resistance to parental guidance. Our goal is to continue to build on the shared vision (“Team Murray”) and the trust between us. Then, following our directions doesn’t have to be a conflict, but instead a cooperation towards a common goal.
- Feelings of Empowerment: Finally, this attribute also falls alone the normal responsibilities and goals of parenting. Ever parent wants to be able to teach their children to be autonomous and that starts at an early age. From a transformational leadership perspective, this allows the followers (kids) to take more personal ownership of the mission and makes them feel more invested (Northouse, 2016). I think any parent can attest to the fact that a child will try to keep a room a lot cleaner if they are the one that had to clean it up (instead of a parent just doing it for them). It’s always encouraging when a behavior like this can have a dual effect in two very important areas (making the kids more self-sufficient while making them feel more committed to the family).
It is encouraging to seem how many parallels there are between good parenting and transformational leadership. It makes sense that this leadership style that is so focusing on personal development and making special connections fits so well into the parent-child dynamic. Even though there are many different aspects from other leadership theories that can be applied to parenting (such as authentic, servant, and adaptive leadership), I felt most comfortable analyzing my parenting style from the transformational perspective. This exercise was also helpful as it showed me some areas where my parenting can improve going forward.
References
Bass, B. M. (1990). From transactional to transformational leadership: Learning to share the vision. Organizational Dynamics, 18(3), 19-31.
Bass, B. M., Avolio, B. J., Jung, D. I., & Berson, Y. (2003). Predicting unit performance by assessing transformational and transactional leadership. Journal of Applied Psychology, 88(2), 207.
Northouse, P.G. (2016). Leadership: Theory and Practice. Los Angeles, CA: Sage Publications.
Pennsylvania State University. (2018). PSYCH 485, Lesson 10: Transformational Leadership. Retrieved from: https://psu.instructure.com/courses/1923777/modules/items/23736271.