The chapter and lesson this week about servant leadership reminded me of how much mother and fathers portray servant leadership in the home. According to Northouse, servant leadership has ten characteristics. They are; listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, stewardship, commitment, and building community (Northouse, 2013). For my home and my family I can easily relate all of these concepts to home servant leadership.
Listening: I must listen to my husband and my kids. Communication is key to any good relationship. This can be awfully challenging some days when my husband is deployed, or on days where my kids are driving me bananas. I always try to make time for each family member everyday and ask them how there day is and talk about anything else on their mind.
Empathy: Oh empathy! This has been a new lesson for me with a daughter on the brink of her teenage years! When my daughter comes to me and talks about her friend problems and drama I would really rather say “just get over it!” but I can’t. I have to show her empathy and I have to be patient with her. This is not an easy task… especially when you have a daughter who wants to be just like everyone else!
Healing: A little over two years ago, we had a daughter who died from a rare terminal disease called Sandhoff disease. This disease took over our entire lives. Day in and day out we were taking care of her. After her death, our family needed to heal. I obviously struggled with this. My husband was a wonderful part in the healing aspect and he held my hand though all of it. Just like my husband was there for me, I had to be there for my other kids. Even two years later we are still grieving, but in a different way. We really took each other and made each other accountable for each other during that process.
Awareness: As a mom, you have to be aware. Enough said!
Persuasion: My persuasion skills have been on the rise lately! We recently just got orders from the military to move to Japan. We will be moving the first week in March. There are so many choice that need to be made. For instance, we have a 9000 lbs. weight limit. So we have been arguing over what is going to go and what is not going to go with us. My husband and I have been persuading each other on different topics. I think we need to sell our king size bed so we can bring our overstuffed living room furniture. He thinks we need to sell both of our cars. He wants to live off-base, I want to live on-base. I want to bring the dog (although it will cost around $3000) and he does not. Through all of the decisions that need to be made we have been attempting to make the best decisions for our family as a whole.
Conceptualization: As a family, we must have goals. My husband and I have financial goals. For example, get out of debt, pay off the cars, buy a home 10 years from now. I want to have a career sometime in the next few years. My husband is studying for a promotion. My kids have goals. My son wants to be a better reader, my daughter wants to be in advanced placement classes. We all look to the future and support each other in our endeavors.
Foresight: A mother always knows best. I help my kids make the best decisions based on my past mistakes.
Stewardship: I show my kids by examples of what good stewardship is. I teach them to hold the door open for others, give elders their seat, and other good manners like that. I hope that one day they will raise their kids to be good stewards to this world.
Commitment to Growth of People: I’m in the business of growing kids in my home! I am committed to them. I want to see them grow and become good and successful people in this world.
Building Community: I teach my kids that helping others is a good thing. I think that our church helps with this a lot too. My daughter just went to the homeless shelter with her youth group the other day to help give food. We are a part of a small group in our church and we regularly do “service projects” where we help others. I think kids also build community by being a part of things that they enjoy. My son enjoys sports and my daughter enjoys the schools act club. But letting them do community projects I am allowing them to become their own “person” and identity.
Nothouse, P. G. (2013). Leadership; Theory and Practice (6th ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.