As PSU students, I know we’re all smart. I like being smart. I like it a lot. I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished, and I know that I’ve worked hard for some things, harder than many people may realize. I work hard to try and connect with people, but it’s difficult at times. I miss social cues. I struggle with small talk. At work I think it wastes time, especially when it’s with people who I don’t consider friends.
Smart isn’t everything. That was a really crushing thought to me. When I got my first supervisory position, and subsequent promotions, I thought it was because I was smart. But one of my problems was I hadn’t yet learned that not everyone thought the same way I did, perceived things the same way I did, or learned things as fast as I did. Add to that my after-the-fact realization that my emotional IQ is below norm for those with leadership potential. I made common mistakes that had a counterproductive affect on my success as a leader, such as difficulty communicating with my staff, sharing ideas that were too advanced (Northouse, 2013), solving problems or finding answers too quickly (PSU WC, 2015, M. 2, p. 4).
It took a long time for me to realize that I wasn’t meeting my own expectations because of that. I didn’t know that although intelligence is the best predictor of general job performance, the link between intelligence and leadership is only moderate (PSU WC, 2015, M. 2, p. 4). So once I realized and accepted my primary weaknesses, I’ve had to work on them.
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t changed overnight into a gregarious, fun-loving, touchy-feely type person or leader, but I have learned to recognize my weaknesses and my strengths, and to try and focus on how others perceive me. When my company wants an important project to be led with no b.s., no excuses, and done ahead of schedule, they ask me. When they want a sensitive situation handled, I’m not a candidate. And I’m ok with that!
Perhaps social intelligence, particularly my (lack of) social skills, isn’t as important to my success because it may contribute specifically when general intelligence is not as high (PSU WC, 2015, M. 2, p. 4). The good news is that I’ve built a very successful career on my strengths, and while I continue to work on my weaknesses, I’ve stopped apologizing for them, and I’ve stopped feeling bad because I’m not a “perfect” leader.
References
Northouse, P.G. (2013). Leadership: Theory and Practice. Los Angeles: Sage Publications.
Pennsylvania State University World Campus (2015). PSYCH 485, Module 2: Trait Approach. Retrieved from https://courses.worldcampus.psu.edu/sp15/psych485/001/content/02_lesson/toc.html