When one says “soft skills” of leadership, many things come to mind. Those unfamiliar with the term would assume that these are the unnecessary niceties of leadership. Those who are crass and uneducated (in life skills) may even refer to them as the “feminine side” to leadership; though to be honest, I view that as actually a plus for every woman, myself included, everywhere in the world. Those who are familiar but still subscribe to traditional leadership may think that these are the skills that are being fed to the minds of millennials, and hence have no need in the real deal of heading a company.
But what are “soft skills” and why are they important? In the changing landscape of career and leadership, these skills may actually be one of the keys to success–if you know how to use them.
In a seminar that I attended last year, I became familiar with one of the soft skills: empathy. Empathy is defined as one’s ability to see the world from the other person’s perspective. It is not synonymous to sympathy, which is feeling the same thing as the other person. There is a more objective stance to empathy; in the same way that we are able to see the situation through their perspective, there is the ability to avoid bringing down judgment to the other person. We don’t have to feel what they are feeling, whether it is positive or negative, but just to understand their own situation and be accepting of it is already a big step.
Other soft skills that are supposedly valued in the modern workplace include creativity, listening skills, emotional awareness, and accountability (Neves, 2016). While they highlight different specializations, these skills appear to value the importance of emotional intelligence, of connecting, and of making people a part of something. In creativity, it’s a mix of tapping into one’s own inner resources and conducting problem-solving to achieve a goal with minimal expenditures. In emotional awareness, it’s about knowing and acknowledging your emotion, so it nips potential outbursts or arguments in the bud.
In listening and communicating, it’s about putting the spotlight on everyone else except yourself. It’s being genuine about wanting to listen to them and actually tuning in to what they say. In accountability, it’s owning up to your work, not making excuses if it falls short, and taking the blame especially if was your own fault.
All of these almost break away from the stereotype of the leader: one who is alone at the top, directing everyone with orders and commands and expecting to take the credit mostly to himself and with the help of the team (no individual recognitions there). It subverts the leader who thinks that he is the only knowledgeable one and therefore does not listen to others’ suggestions, and may prefer to stick with “what works” instead of looking at where else efficiency and innovation can happen.
Soft skills may actually take away the “me” in team, and instead bring up the entire team–the leader included–all in the same boat and on the same level.
When I heard about and read this, it made me think of how I would see and evaluate leaders, including those I’ve had as bosses and those I’ve just heard from friends and family. I never understood why I was drawn to leaders who were willing to listen to you when you have an idea. Or when a leader who acknowledges his fault instead of telling you that you did poorly (because the instructions he gave you were wrong). Or when a leader accommodates a request because it feels like he understands you when you say “that route is impossible” and considers the alternative path you propose. Or when a leader takes the time to actually make you feel like you’re being listened to and not judged at all.
Those were never really the “best” traits of a leader that we were taught in elementary. They were far from the leader who is always ahead, untouchable, and unfaltering. Now I see the real importance of how soft skills make a leader. They don’t have to shout from the rooftops and on podiums that they are leaders. They don’t have to show you “who’s boss” around the bullpen by playing dirty politics. They don’t even have to intimidate you into submitting to the “alpha of the pack.” Just by practicing these soft skills, by being genuine people who have great ideas and acknowledge that everyone in the team probably has one, too, they become the leaders that you just instinctively want to follow.
References:
Neves, A. (2016). 5 soft skills you need to master for workplace success. Inc.com, Retrieved from. https://www.inc.com/the-muse/5-emotional-intelligence-leadership-skills-you-need-for-success.html.
Northouse, P. (2016). Leadership: Theory and practice (7th ed). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.