Here is my introduction paragraph to my essay:
Analyzation of Rhetoric in Clean Water Advertisements
The fact is simple: Water is becoming scarce. Not only is one of the most important elements to our survival becoming scarce, but what we have left is not even entirely clean. While it can be hard to truly know how dire our situation is, organizations like Unicef and Lien Aid are putting out advertisements and PSA’s that make good use of Aristotle’s Pathos and Logos, as well as visual rhetoric and commonplaces respectively. In order to bring awareness to the clean water crisis, Unicef uses Logos and visual rhetoric in order to teach its audience quickly and effectively. On the other hand, Lien Aid made a public service announcement that uses appeal to Pathos through a commonplace lens, which tells a similar message to the Unicef ad while using different strategies. By comparing these rhetorical pieces one can see exactly how the ad and the PSA line up, and why their strategies do so well in conveying meaning to their audience.
Lien Aid PSA: (2) Clean Water PSA (Public Service Announcement) : Why is this swimming pool bone dry? – YouTube
Unicef ad: UNICEF dirty water ad 2 | Creative Ads and more… (creative-ads.org)
I like the content of the introduction so far, but I think the wording and format could be cleaned up. Right now it also seems like your thesis statement is spread out over 3 sentences, and could be compressed a little more. I think it would also be effective if you introduced some examples of the rhetoric you will analyze.
This is a really good start! I like how you included specifics on analysis and foreshadowed what types of lenses you’ll be analyzing through. I would agree with Sri on the topic of making a compact thesis statement and adding a bit more organization to the intro and focus on one thing to talk about and then expand on everything else in the body paragraphs.