Being kind to people does not make you weak in your beliefs.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it means to be open-minded in our interactions with the people around us. With the current political climate being so polarizing, there’s a lot of demonization of those who hold beliefs different than our own. It’s become a recurring theme in my own social life as well: How do I react to people who think differently, or even in stark contradiction of what I think? And what does that say about who I am as a person?

One of my closest friends is Catholic. We sometimes joke about how cliché it has become to think your college friends will be bridesmaids at your wedding, and yesterday we had an interesting discussion about how, ideally, our hypothetical future bridesmaids would support us in all aspects of our lives (including, in this case, her faith). We agreed that doesn’t mean our friends need to have the same religious beliefs as us, or even love our religious choices. But what if one of our friends actively opposes, judges, or disagrees with Catholicism in a negative way? For me, it’s two-sided. On one hand, I respect my friend’s beliefs and decisions. On the other hand, why can’t my friend be more respectful and accepting of my beliefs in the first place?

Another hypothetical scenario: a mutual friend irritates you beyond belief. They disagree with you on almost everything. Every thing they do, you would do in the exact opposite way. You just don’t get along. In this scenario, what is right? Should you force yourself to get along with someone for the sake of peace and good times? Or do you reserve the right to hate (or strongly dislike) them?

Despite putting in some serious thinking-time on this subject, I haven’t figured out an absolute answer that compromises with all sides and leaves everyone feeling happy. I have, however, made some realizations about how to have productive, respectful discussions and interactions with people who are unlike ourselves (which, essentially, is every other person on the planet). I don’t know of anyone who has mastered this difficult question, and I don’t mean to come off as a person who has. If you know the secret, please let me know!!

Sadly there is a lot of negativity, hate, and anger in the world, meaning there are a lot of people who are negative, hateful, and angry. If you let every single hateful person deeply affect you, then you will spend a lot of time being angry and sad. “Pick your battles” is a useful piece of advice. Just because you don’t fight every single person who disagrees with you, does not mean you don’t have morals or values that are important to you. It just means you understand there are lots of people in this world, with lots of varying opinions. Engaging in dialogue about things that really matter to you is definitely important. There’s a time and place for it. There’s also a respectful, non-accusatory way to go about it.

I think if you act in love and kindness through your actions and words, generally people will reflect that back onto you. This is especially difficult for people who are extra mean, but I think that the notion mostly holds true. If you can only tolerate people who completely agree with you 100%, you will end up with very few people around you. If you can’t listen to someone else’s point of view, and truly try to see where they are coming from or why they are thinking in that way, then it will be very difficult to have a productive conversation that ends in any resolution.

I can’t say that I actually do these things. It’s really hard not to judge people based off their sometimes, and I think we can all admit that. Being open-minded, to me, is really a part of being kind. There are so many individuals with unique life histories and perspectives that shape the way they think. To discredit their opinions is to discredit their lives, and part of who they are. I’m realizing that it’s more important to me to spread love than to convince someone that Trump is not great for America. And, an added bonus is that people are more willing to be persuaded if they know you are coming from a place of respect, love, and understanding. Obviously it’s easier said then done. However, just because you don’t always fight people about politics or what they say doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person who doesn’t stand up for what you believe in.

So how does this make the world a better place? Productive conversations that are civil, respectful, and important to society always make the world better. When people can get together and talk about what’s important to them, it leads to solutions to some of our most pressing issues. There is no way to fix problems or disagreements when you only respect the opinion of one side. We can see proof of that right now in our United States politics. One passionate conservative might say, “I’ll never understand how liberals can think that way, they want to take away my rights and that is a personal attack on me.” One liberal might say, “Conservatives hold beliefs that fundamentally challenge my human rights, and I take that as a personal attack.” Both statements refuse to acknowledge that there may possibly be value or truth in the opposite party’s beliefs. The statements also demonize the other individual based off of their political ideas. As a side note, people are more than just their political ideas. I think we sometimes forget that.

I guess the purpose of this post is just to start a discussion about what being open-minded really means, and how it is actually carried out in our lives. In my opinion, you can’t go wrong with simply trying your best to love and respect the people around you.

4 million people will soon turn on their taps, and watch nothing come out. To get any water, they will have to wait in long lines with tubs, under the surveillance of armed guards. Cape Town, South Africa has experienced extreme drought, and coupled with increased migration and population growth to the region, this has stressed drinking water supply. Their main reservoirs are running very low, and city officials project that Cape Town will have to completely shut off water to it’s residents and businesses. The lack of water in the region could cause political and social unrest as families struggle to find sources of water and will undoubtedly change daily life in Cape Town. It will also harm businesses that need a consistent water supply to operate. The scariest thing is that the same scenario (completely running out of water) is predicted to happen to even more cities in the coming years as we stress global reservoirs, and worsening climate change exacerbates drought conditions.

Only 2% of the water on Earth is drinkable. Our population continues to grow at exponential rates. And as human beings we require a lot of water intake, considering that we are made up of 70% H2O. So much of our freshwater supply has been polluted by human activity, on the industrial and individual scale. Below are some fast facts about water pollution from Nat Geo:

• In developing countries, 70 percent of industrial wastes are dumped untreated into waters, polluting the usable water supply.
• On average, 22 million tons of fertilizers and chemicals are used each year.

We pollute water through the products we use and activities that we partake in. We also use up a lot of water when washing our clothes and taking long showers. Toxic laundry detergent, exfoliating beads, bathroom cleaners, paints, hair dyes, pesticides, and everything else we pour down the drain can end up polluting our water sources. You can make small life changes through what you purchase and what you do that can greatly decrease the negative effects you might have on our limited global water supply.

1. Decrease your use

This is the simplest way that you can make a big impact today. Of course, there is the classic “turn off the tap while you brush your teeth” trick. You could also try making a playlist that only lasts ten minutes, and challenge yourself to shower in that time. Then, remove one song, and make it seven minutes. See how much water you can conserve by shortening your shower time! A lot of people don’t even realize how much time they waste just standing around.

Re-use water to water plants. When cooking, try to conserve and reuse extra water you have instead of letting it go down the drain. Also, always make sure that your faucets and taps are not leaking or dripping. Leaking faucets can end up wasting insane amounts of water over time, costing you money and harming the environment. Investing in repairs is a win-win situation.

2. Buy sustainable, eco-friendly, non-toxic products for your everyday life

I was really upset at first when I had to stop buying my favorite Clearasil face wash because I found out that the small exfoliating beads are extremely harmful to the environment. Basically, the beads are so tiny and non-soluble, that they escape through most water filtration and cleaning systems. This means that the beads are polluting the oceans and our own water supply. By simply googling around, though, I found out that sugar scrubs are natural, better for me, and do not pollute the water supply. There are so many natural, non-toxic substitutes for products we use, like hair dye, face wash, home cleaners, toilet cleaners, air fresheners, toilet paper, etc. It just takes a little bit of research and investigation to make a big impact. The EPA created this easy guide that can help you “green your purchase of cleaning products.” There are hundreds of guides on the internet about this stuff. It is so easy, that there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to buy products that are better for you and for the world!

3. Get involved 

Be an advocate for the environment! Find a group on campus (or wherever you are) to join in and tell people what they can do to make a difference. Waterkeeper Alliance and the Food and Water Watch are two great organizations that focus on clean water. EcoAction and Eco Reps are just two examples of what I’m guessing are about 15 environment-related campus groups that exist. By not only changing your own habits, but helping encourage people to change theirs, you can make an even greater difference.

One way to make this world a better place is being a good friend. The people I have met here have shown me what that really means. Driving back to Penn State a few weeks ago after a weekend at home, on Superbowl Sunday, in the middle of a snowstorm, I was in a terrifying car accident. Everyone was fine, and there were no injuries, but I was so shaken up. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry about how fleeting our lives are and have an existential crisis. When I finally got to campus, many hours later than originally intended, and completely exhausted, my friends were in my room. Chipotle, one of my favorite foods, was on my desk. I started crying not because of the crash, but because I couldn’t believe how lucky I am to know such kind and thoughtful people.

As a freshman I was mortified of making friends, as I would assume many students are. I came to Penn State for a fresh start. As an out of state student from Virginia, I didn’t know anyone who went here. I didn’t even have any mutual friends here. In high school I always struggled with maintaining healthy friendships, and constantly wondered if there was something wrong with me. I had this vision in my head that I would end up alone all the time while everyone else was having the times of their lives. Through a series of events and connections that I can only attribute to fate or the universal power that works for all things good in the world, I fortunately met some of the most inspiring, passionate, funny, and kind people that I think exist in the known world. It turns out that we do not have to go our whole lives laughing at our own jokes!! I just want anyone struggling to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, because amazing people are out there, and the moment you give up is the moment that you close yourself off to meeting them.

Whenever I am upset, my roommate acts as my therapist. She listens to me vent and cry and scream when I feel like the world isn’t fair, and then she helps me remember everything great about being alive. I know the she is busy and has tons (probably millions) of other things she could be doing, but she takes that time to put her phone down, listen, and help me. Being a good friend is being a good listener. Not every conversation needs to be a competition between who can talk more about themselves. People love to be heard. It shows that you care.

Building a healthy friendship is a two way street that requires efforts from both sides. Something amazing about my friends here is that we always make time to talk and listen to each other, no matter how busy we may get. If someone asks for help with a small favor, my friends will go the extra mile for each other. We celebrate all of our successes together, and build each other up to be better people. We always apologize when we mess up and communicate to get through arguments or miscommunications. I know this sounds like a huge brag about how great my friends are, but what I’m trying to say is that they’ve inspired me to be more like them. They put so much sincerity, compassion, and empathy into their actions and interpersonal relationships with each other. Most importantly, they really appreciate each other. I think that when you are grateful for the people in your life, and you put in a sincere effort to be a good friend to them, that is making the world a place with more kindness, love, and connection (which it definitely needs). Being a dependable, thoughtful, and generally nice person really impacts other people’s lives, friends or not. Plus, they say you attract the type of energy that you exude. Try and find the people who encourage you to be a better person. I promise they’re out there.

There are many people that do super important jobs and consistently go along, under appreciated and unrecognized for their work. I’ve noticed this especially in my own dorm hall. We have the same staff that clean our floor every day, and since I live on the ground floor, sometimes it can get pretty bad with people consistently coming and going. What frustrates me is the disregard that some people have for our custodial staff. They have to deal with the most disgusting things and never get the thanks they deserve from the people on our floor. They are a crucial part of what keeps our school and daily lives running smoothly and cleanly, yet we do nothing to show them we care.

A lot of Americans hold the belief that it doesn’t require a lot of skill or intelligence to be a janitor. As one janitorial company puts it,  “That kind of remark [belief] couldn’t be further from the truth, yet it does reflect an attitude held by much of the American public that does little to help uplift the self image of the nation’s 2 million plus janitors who work their butts off doing very menial, tedious and sometimes dangerous work for a public that shows little appreciation or understanding for the contribution these workers make to our country’s economy and social systems.” There are many jobs that go under appreciated in our society, and make huge contributions to how we function. Mike Rowe explores all of the ‘dirty jobs’ that allow our society to function on his long-running infamous show “Dirty Jobs,” experimenting with jobs from sewer maintenance to road kill collector. We shun this work because of stigma or because we would not want it ourselves, however, everyone deserves respect and appreciation for what they do to contribute to the common good. Some people risk their lives in dangerous situations so that we can live comfortably. We need their contributions to keep our society running, and if it weren’t for them, our lives would be a whole lot different, and a lot less convenient.

In general, janitorial staff have a lot more to deal with than just cleaning. A lot of times they are also responsible for dealing with maintenance requests and emergency clean-ups, and other tasks that I don’t even know about. All I know is that I love where I live and I have little to complain about; it’s always clean and I am so grateful for that. I don’t know what I would do without them, and they do a great job. I feel like more people should be appreciative of what they do and consider how difficult our lives would become if they did a bad job.

Even though it’s barely anything, it might be nice to just strike up a conversation with a worker you see and ask them how their day is going. One time I started talking to a lady who cleans our bathrooms, and I said “I’m so sorry you have to clean this when people do these ridiculous things!” I was referring to some obscenely gross stuff that someone did in one of the stalls. She said, kind of annoyed, “It’s okay, they pay me to do this.” It wasn’t a phenomenal conversation or anything magical. The point is that at least I expressed something nice.

Please do not make disgusting messes just for the sake of a funny joke or prank. It’s not only immature, but it’s inconsiderate of the people who have to clean it up. It might be funny to you but it’s definitely not to them. Next time you see a janitor or maintenance worker around Penn State, consider telling them a quick “thank you for your work” or “thanks a lot.” It might go a long way!

Fun Fact: National Custodial Worker’s Recognition Day is October 2nd, but you can celebrate any day by baking a nice treat or making a sweet card!!

It shouldn’t be a secret that when we buy our products really cheap, it means that somewhere along the way, the true price is being paid. Whether it be human beings or the environment, someone is footing the bill of our extremely low-priced goods. Oftentimes this can include things like child or slave labor. It can include unsustainable practices that exploit the natural environment or create hazardous waste. As consumers, our power is held within where we decide to spend our money. With our money we cast a vote in the market, telling it what we want more of and less of. I can personally say I find it very difficult to resist a good deal on cheap clothes or ordering things from China on Amazon that were definitely made in a factory. I admit it, sometimes I eat Crunch chocolate bars even though I’m aware of all of the child labor accusations against Nestle. No one is perfect. However, there are little things we can all do to attempt spending our money on sustainable, ethical, fair-trade products that don’t always have to break the bank.

Tip #1: Research

A quick google search can usually help you figure out if a big brand name has ever been involved with sweatshops, child labor, underpaid workers, or similar negative things. The internet is such a fast way to see if a company is known for sustainability, or for hiding their sullied past. You might find that one of your favorite brands doesn’t use sustainably sourced materials. Or, you might discover an interesting, lesser known brand that puts a lot of effort into giving back to the world.

Tip #2: Look for labeling

Check to see if product has any positive, sustainable labeling on it, such as GMO, Fair Trade, locally sourced, organic, Made in America, Vegan product, etc. Most sustainable products are marked in some sort of way, because that is good for marketing. It’s also helpful for you!

Tip #3: Buy good quality products

One trick to help buy things that are usually more sustainable is to ask yourself: How long will this item last? If the answer is under one year, and that’s abnormal for the item, you might be buying something that was poorly and cheaply made. Low quality is a major sign of cheap labor sources. Whether it be furniture or fashion, ensuring that you buy good quality products helps the people who put the effort in to make them, as well as the environment. A huge detriment of the fast fashion industry is how many garments end up in landfills, and sometimes in the ocean. Interestingly, the fast fashion industry has reached a point so bad that it makes up a large portion of ocean micro-plastic pollutants. We can help prevent this by buying clothes that will last for a long time.

Tip #4: Buy less (reduce and reuse!)

Simply buying less stuff is good for you and good for the environment. Why buy a new, $30 pot when you can get one at a garage sale? Maybe that really cool jacket you’ve been looking for is waiting for you at the local Goodwill. Buying things second hand or reusing the things you already have produces less waste and saves you money. There is already too much stuff out there.

Tip #5: Do the best you can

Like I mentioned in the beginning, being a conscious consumer as a young adult is not an easy thing to do. Don’t beat yourself up for wanting to buy something with a low price. Don’t hate yourself because you drank unethically-sourced coffee. It’s important to do your best, when you can, at buying things that do more good than harm.

I remember that I was sitting in Mr. E’s AP English language class in the first few months of school when he showed us this video. His class was in a trailer, which I hated because it was always humid and had weird smells.  To be honest, I wasn’t his biggest fan, and I don’t think he was mine either. We butted heads from the beginning. It was my junior year, and during that time I was very upset over really petty, insignificant things. When we watched this video, I think I actually cried a little bit. It articulates something that I’ve always thought about but was never able to put into words, and he does it in a beautiful way.

Now when I watch this video, it doesn’t have nearly as much of an affect on me as it did then. This is partly because I have watched it many times, and partly because I’m just at a different place in life. However, I wanted to make a post about what Wallace discusses in this commencement speech because it sums up a big part of my philosophy on life.

Essentially, he’s talking about how to empathize, and how to live compassionately. Instead of focusing only on ourselves, and everything wrong in our lives, and putting all of our energy into negative thoughts, Wallace suggests that we consider what the people around us are going through. He challenges us to recognize the beautiful parts of mundane activities, and the unity we gain by collectively experiencing them. By thinking in this active and purposeful way, the world becomes a better place. It becomes a kinder, more compassionate, more understanding place. How we think determines our actions, and our actions are what affects the world around us. I don’t think it hurts to foster compassion, empathy, and appreciation for the little parts of life we often find annoying.

Another thing that struck me was that he reminds us, near the end, that this concept of choosing what to pay attention to doesn’t have to do with morality, or religion, or questions about life after death. As someone who doesn’t identify with any one religion in particular, I’ve always wondered if I was doing something wrong and would end up unhappy without the solace of religion in my life. What I love about what Wallace says is that positive thinking, contentment, and happiness isn’t necessarily correlated to religious beliefs or thoughts on morality. It can, in some ways, have more to do with the awareness of choosing how you perceive your own life and your own experiences. This is a universal way to view optimistic thinking that I think can apply to almost everyone’s life.

Something that scares the bajeezus out of me is that Wallace, despite having what I believe to be an incredible wisdom about life and positive thinking, died at age 46 by committing suicide. Someone who I look up to through writing and philosophy died in a tragic way. When I was a junior in high school, sitting in that trailer, to me it was like he unlocked the secrets to genuine happiness. I am really grateful for the way his message has impacted my life.