Nightly Prayers to the Same Old Ghosts
I need no more reminders of love’s limits
(nor the grace I thought lay always in its song),
so come to me no more in dead of night.
I thought that I could save her ( I was wrong).
In the past, I have analyzed Taylor Mali’s poems and given the context of the mind space and circumstances of the Poet during the period of time in which he wrote the poems in the “The Whetting Stone.” On the first day of a new school year, Mali’s wife, Rebecca, jumped out of their New York City apartment, on the sixth floor of their building, and committed suicide.
Once again, I have interpreted this poem in the context of Rebecca and the speaker, being Mali. I have chosen to interpret in this fashion because of the highly sensitive content of the poem and out of respect for Mali, I do not believe that it should be depersonalized into terms of “speaker” and “poetic speaker” when these are authentic thoughts, feelings, and experiences to Mali. I believe that using the context of their relationship emphasizes the sentiment of the poem, and as a result always for readers to connect more with what is being communicated throughout the poem.
Mali has openly discussed the influence of his late wife’s suicide, the primary storyline for this collection of poetry and begins with, what seems to be frustration; he states, “[he needs] no more reminders of love’s limits.” This is likely to be a statement as a result of a string of convalescences and futile reassurances from friends and family members following Rebecca’s death.
Interestingly enough, Mali goes on to have an “aside”, via the usage of parentheses, to the reader. The speaker emphasizes that they need no reminders of love’s limits “[..] nor the grace I though lay always in its song […]”. The “grace” that Mali is referring to is, presumably, the saving grace of love and its power. In film, literature, poetry, and real-life, love is supposed to “conquer” all. This mindset and belief are harmful to partners, individually, and couples, as a whole. This belief normalized co-dependency in a relationship and can be detrimental to the growth of those in romantic relationships. Rebecca’s depression and suicide could not be “conquered” by her husband’s love. Her decision to commit suicide was not a consequence of Mali’s “shortcomings” as a partner and husband because love is not a saving grace. One cannot use their love to fix, cure, or put another person back together.
Continuing, Mali does not ask but simply says “so come to me no more in dead of night”. This is said to what readers can infer is the ghost of Rebecca or “ghosts” of intrusive thoughts and anxieties, that have fed into Mali’s thoughts that he could have prevented Rebecca’s suicide.
In the last line, Mali admits “[he] thought that [he] could save her ( [he] was wrong).” Once again, Mali confirm what readers had already decided upon regarding his thoughts, beliefs, and actions following his late wife’s death. But once again, Mali’s rationality is demonstrated in the parenthtical aside to the audience, in which case the reader knows that Mali recognizes the fact that he knows he was wrong, and not to blame for her death.