A Climate Crisis: Educating the Future for Their Future
Education has had a key role in preparing young people to gain the skills necessary to enter the workplace. However, as the world changes and society evolves, the reason for our education must change along with it. Children need to be capable of civically engaging in their communities, countries, and worldwide as their decisions can have long-lasting impacts far beyond what they see. This is especially important in the sector of environmental education as human activity, especially greenhouse gas emissions, is considered the dominant cause of temperature increases related to climate change [1]. The world has already warmed by more than 1°C directly contributing to ocean warming, shrinking ice sheets, sea-level rise, extreme weather events, and ocean acidification to name a few [2]. The scientific evidence of reaching the point of no return is unequivocal and urgent action needs to be taken to reverse the effects and put into place a sustainable way of living. One way to follow through with this goal is through the implementation of American state mandates on requiring courses to be taught about environmental literacy in grades k-12. In America, many states already have requirements relating to physical and health education for students to graduate. According to the 2016 Shape of the Nation study of 50 states and the District of Columbia, 39 require elementary school students to take physical education, 37 have that requirement for junior high school students, and 44 make physical education mandatory for high school students [3]. Given that these classes are required to improve a student’s mental and physical wellbeing that influence their quality of life, why is environmental education also not taught? The changes happening in the world due to an unsustainable living will have a direct impact on all living things on earth no matter where you live. Interestingly, one survey from the Teachers College of Columbia University found that 77% of Americans already support mandating teaching primary and secondary school students about global warming and climate change [4]. Now, it is only a matter of creating a curriculum that encompasses environmental awareness and its impacts and mandating it. By engaging students with climate science and related topics, it can help young people grasp the reality of the climate crisis and push them to be more involved in reaching a climate-safe future for themselves and those who come after them.
[1] https://nca2018.globalchange.gov/chapter/2/
[2] https://climate.nasa.gov/evidence/
[3] https://study.com/academy/popular/states-that-require-physical-education.html
Notes:
- Title: I am considering “Environmental Education: Using the Power of Education to Create a More Sustainable Future” because it explains the topic better, but it has less of a ring to it haha.
- The intro kind of has a lot of topics in it so I am thinking of separating it into a couple of paragraphs (1=the traditional point of education- pragmatic and economic-based to what we need now-social and civic based, 2=climate crisis facts and why it is urgent, and 3= explaining why climate education is important)? But maybe this is stuff I should go more in detail to in the actual brief because there are already a lot of sources in my intro which probably isn’t good
- My thesis is in the middle of the paragraph which is also weird and kind of confusing so I need to figure a way to change that
- I was planning on talking about America specifically because it would be too hard to focus on education systems from around the world and be specific with facts, but I think I am not making that very clear.
- Overall this intro seems to need a lot of work but I am hoping with a more solid plan of where I want to go with this issue brief that things will fall into place? Hopefully
- Also, my sources arent cited correctly because I am sure things will change so I just left them as links
I prefer the title option you suggested after the introduction over the one you used.
I think some parts of the introduction can actually be broken up and used later on in the brief, especially your more specific reasoning. You don’t want to overexplain your reasoning in the introduction and run out of things to say later on in the brief, so maybe move some of it to supporting paragraphs. Maybe by breaking up the intro, the thesis will fall at the end of the paragraph. I think everything you have is great, and all of it will be used in the brief, I just think some of it can be moved and used elsewhere. An example would be the fact about the popularity of your plan.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
-The title definitely reflects the paper’s thesis, but I prefer the other one that you suggested. My only suggestion is to use the one that you mentioned at the end.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence? Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
-I think you can add a sentence to add to the exigence. You mention the point of no return, but I think it would be good to elaborate on what that point is to show readers how we need to act NOW.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
-I think you have a great thesis, although it should be moved more towards the end of the paragraph. It definitely advances a policy, although with some of the justification done at the end of the paragraph for the approach, I am left wondering how you will justify your approach without simply restating what you said at the end of the introduction. Maybe don’t explain the benefits of this method in the intro. Rather, consider just saying that we should adopt your plan, and leave the justification for later.
Great job! I do agree with the idea concerning the number of topics in the intro. Your evidence is great because it clearly supports the overarching idea of your issue brief, but it was a lot to absorb all at once. So, I think breaking it up into two or more smaller paragraphs may be beneficial. If you make this choice, your first paragraph will become shorter, but that does not necessarily mark the end of your intro. Breaking it up into smaller paragraphs may also help you present your thesis more clearly. Your thesis can technically appear anywhere in your introduction, but placing it near the end usually helps it stand out more.
When it comes to your thesis statement, I kind of struggled to find it. To me, your thesis statement was this: “The scientific evidence of reaching the point of no return is unequivocal and urgent action needs to be taken to reverse the effects and put into place a sustainable way of living.” This statement is clearly a claim that can be justified; however, your last sentence also appears to be a claim as well. Since it is difficult to find your thesis, I am definitely starting to think that you may have too much information in your intro. If you agree with the first thesis statement that I pinpointed, then I would start a new paragraph after that sentence because the following information clearly points back to that particular claim. That’s the effect you want to achieve and that particular statement can easily be the foundation of your issue brief. I hope this makes sense and at least gives you some new ideas!
I personally love the title that you used for your blog post. It captures the main idea of your issue brief and it has a nice ring to it.
Your exigence is also fantastic and helps your readers understand the importance of focusing on the issue of global climate change.
All in all, amazing job! I think your focus right now should be your thesis statement. Once you decide which statement best represents the goal of your issue brief, then I would simplify your intro so that it concisely presents your thesis statement and then work on body paragraphs to support your claim. You’ve got this and keep up the good work!
I like the title you suggested better than the blog title! It sums up the brief’s topic better. I also agree that your paragraph could be broken up into multiple and that your thesis would benefit from not being in the middle of a paragraph.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
I think both titles do a good job at explaining what the issue is, but again, the second one does that much better.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence? Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
I think your titles and introduction did a great job at responding to an exigence. You referred to the climate crisis and mentioned very useful facts that create a sense of urgency, and the education of children is also an important topic right now.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
I had the same problem as Alex where I didn’t really know which sentence was the thesis. It seems like the thesis was almost broken up into different sentences throughout the paragraph. However, I think that the last sentence could very well be your thesis if you say something along the lines of “By engaging students with climate science and related topics through __(a specific policy/making a curriculum change)__, it can help young people grasp…”