A friend of mine reached out to me this week because she felt like she’s been in a depressed funk lately. She loves her school, she loves the atmosphere, but for some reason she has been feeling unhappy with herself, her body, and her life overall. Let’s call her Allison to maintain privacy.

Allison has always been there for me when I have had my share of breakdowns. If you read my post, “This Is Deep, Hold On…” she was the one who took me home from work when I knew I needed to be hospitalized. A detail I did not include in the post was that she was also the one who came to pick me up when I was finally discharged. We spent the day together; we came up to State College to go shopping and out-to-eat at Applebee’s. It was a beautiful day and I miss her greatly.

This begs the question, how do you help a friend when they are hundreds of miles away? It was easier for her to be there for me physically over Christmas break, because we only live fifteen minutes apart, and we worked together. Now she goes to Messiah and I’m stuck in the not-so-happy valley without a way of giving her a hug.

I’ve been brainstorming, and here are some things that you could do if you have a long-distance friend that’s stuck in a rut and needs help.

1. Make as many phone calls as possible

Make her smile, make her remember how much fun we used to have and show her that we can still have fun. Make her remember that she has someone who cares about her mental well-being. When she initially told me about her depression lately, my first instinct was to call her and help as much as I could. We ended up facetiming for nearly two hours. It’s important to really listen to what your friend has to say, sometimes they need to cry it out on the phone, or even rant for an hour. Regardless, it’s the little things that make friendship so powerful.

2. Remind them of happy times

This one can be hard sometimes because depending on why your friend is sad, remembering the happy times may make them a tad more upset because they miss the good old days. In Allison’s case it made her laugh and we reminisced for hours. Sometimes friends just need a happy reminder that it can get better and the depression has not always been there.

3. Send them some new tunes!

Allison loves country music, and I have always been a strong advocate against country music. We always had our tiffs on car rides about who was going to choose the playlist.

Something she did for me when I got out of the hospital was give me some of her favorite country songs that meant a lot to her. I truly gave them a goooood listen and soon realized how calming they were. In return, I sent her some of my favorite happy songs to keep her in an uplifting mood.

There are many things you can do for your friends when they’re down. If she were closer I’d go visit in a heartbeat; but long distance does not mean the friendship isn’t as strong, and I will continue to brainstorm everything I can to help her out of this rut.

Stay Strong, Allison. You can do it, and you won’t have to do it alone. You are strong, you are beautiful, and I love you.