Third Culture Children

I am a Third Culture Child. I came across this term while in my first semester here at Penn State. Essentially, this means I grew up in a culture/cultures that were different from my parents. Now, I had always known that this described my life, but I never knew there was a term for children that grew up in this way. Originally, I was born in Lusaka, Zambia, but when I was 3 months old, my family moved to Belgium. I lived there for about 4 years and grew up speaking both Dutch and English. Though I don’t quite remember this experience today, I know it has shaped the way I view the world. After Belgium, I moved back to Zambia and lived there for about 4-5 years. Because I was so young, I quickly forgot much of my life in Belgium. After Zambia, my family and I moved to Lincoln, Nebraska and lastly to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where I’ve lived since I was about 13 years old.

Where are you from?

I often get asked where I’m from and have to stop and really think about what to say? Honestly, I never really know what to tell people about where I’m truly from. Of course, most times I will say Zambia because that’s where I was born, and it’s where most of my family resides. Although, I do not always feel completely connected to my home country. In fact, I really don’t think I feel completely connected to any place that I’ve lived throughout my life. I’ve moved so often I don’t really know where to call home.

 The Benefits of My Experience

There are many great things that come along with being exposed to so many different cultures. For me, I think the most valuable thing I’ve gained form my life is my desire to deeply understand people and their background. People around the world are so different, and seeing that first hand just makes me want to learn more about the experiences others have. I want to see how other cultures think about aspects of the world. This desire gives me the courage to make friends with people from anywhere. I’ve never been afraid to ask people about their background and find out how they see the world.

Second, my journey gives me the opportunity to be a teacher to those that may not understand what happens outside of their own home. Since moving to the U.S., I’ve noticed how many people really do not understand just how different others’ lives are around the world. Now, I don’t want to make it seem like people in this category are dumb or stupid because they are not. They simply just haven’t experienced certain things or just haven’t been taught. But my experience gives me the wonderful opportunity to use my background to teach others about what it’s like outside the U.S. I love sharing my story and hearing about other peoples’ stories.

Lastly, this one is more of a benefit to me, but it can be seen as a bad thing as well. I have no trouble with change or saying goodbye. Because of just how often I’ve moved, changed friend groups, and changed schools, I don’t have too hard of a time with a lot of change. For example, though leaving for college can be a very stressful and scary thing for some people, I just saw it as another stage of my life. Another moment in which I’ll have to move. And it’s not that I don’t miss the people I’m leaving or don’t care about where I am. I just never feel completely connected to one place specifically. This has taught me to really appreciate my time in the present. Whenever I’m in a place, I do my best to be happy and make the best experience out of it because I know that at any day, it could be taken away from me.

The Downsides

Though people are often very intrigued by my life experience and see it as a very valuable thing, there are some upsetting things which I feel not too many people talk about. Yes, I am grateful for the life I’ve lived, but there are some things I wish I could get that I don’t really have. First, as shown previously, I do not really know where to call home. I’ve struggled with this thought for a majority of my life and have never really figured it out.

Second, I have a hard time connecting to my family. Now, this isn’t necessarily a problem that all Third Culture Kids might have, but it’s something that constantly bothers me. Outside of my mom, dad, and sister, I have not had an opportunity to deeply connect with others in my family over the years. Largely because I just don’t get to see them very often if at all. I always envy those that tell me their grandparents live close, or that they are able to visit their cousins many times a year. I’ve always wished for this type of family connection but I’ve never gotten one.

Additionally, there is a slight divide between me and my parents. My parents grew up in a totally different culture than me and my sister. So, sometimes there are instances in which we may not see eye to eye on certain topics because of culture differences. Also, though my parents both grew up speaking English, they also speak a multitude of other Zambian languages which me and my sister do not know. It has always been upsetting knowing that I cannot communicate with them in their native languages.

What’s your Experience?

I’d love to hear the perspective of those that have either gone through something similar, or even if you have been in one place your whole life. What are the good and bad things of your own life journey? How has it shaped you and the way you think?