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Social Media. We love it don’t we? I mean it’s phenomenal. You can start at your twitter home page and 10 minutes later you’re looking at pictures from your ex-boyfriend’s second cousin’s best friend’s quinceanara. (Believe me, it happens) And in case my previous statement wasn’t clear, girls are nothing short of insane when it comes to social media and texting and pretty much communication in general.

First off, we have Facebook, which is almost obsolete nowadays but nonetheless is worth mentioning. Girls are notorious Facebook stalkers. They can find all of your basic information and most of your private information in a matter of minutes. And those embarrassing pictures from 6 years ago? You can bet the girl whose friend request you’ve just accepted has seen all of them and probably judged you a little bit. FYI.

What once started on Facebook, however, has now evolved into the much more intrusive and fast-paced twitter.  The great thing about twitter is that everything you tweet is fleeting. You can tweet whatever you want and it could only show up in a handful of timelines. But, everything is visible to females. as much as we stalked facebook, we stalk twitter even more. We see your tweet about not being ready for your chem exam. And what’s worse is that we analyze. Girls suddenly become members of the BAU when we look at your twitter profile. We theorize who you’re thinking about when you quote that Adele song. And this goes for guys and girls. We analyze everyone. (Very intrusive, we are.) The amount of time we spend stalking twitter is directly proportional to the number of tweets we post over a given time period. And I’ll be honest, the female twitter profile is just god awful. It seems all we do is post about feeling ugly or pictures of our cats or  subtweets about guys. (in case you don’t know, a subtweet is a tweet in which a specific individual is referenced, however no indication is made in regard to who the specific individual is)

But undoubtedly the most fun thing to talk about regarding girls and communication involves the direct conversation between two people. Whether it be a snapchat or a text message, girls expect to be prioritized. If we see the solid arrow become a mere outline on snapchat we expect to get a snap. Although I must say girls are less intense about snapchat than they are about text messages. And I blame read receipts on the iphone. Now, we can see that you opened our text message and are not responding intentionally. So, if you make the bold choice to turn on your read receipts, expect either a secretly offended friend or girlfriend or a multitude of text messages sent directly after another in hopes of making you respond. Also, girls are impatient, so respond quickly, I beg of you. In mentioning texting, you must mention emojis. Emojis are beautiful things. What started as a simple colon-close parenthesis combination to indicate happiness has evolved into an entire keyboard dedicated to explicitly telling the emotion which was meant to accompany your message. Girls love emojis because they set a tone with a message. We know (with relatively low variation) what you’re feeling and as a result, how we are to respond to your message. So use emojis. It’s for your own good.

Basically, social media is the outlet for girls to be as creepy as they could possibly wish to be. It’s wonderful, that we can connect with each other with a single click, but it can also be very scary. My only word of advice is to remember while you’re tweeting, texting, tagging Facebook photos, etc., that it cant be erased. My rule of thumb is, before I post, to imagine the person I least want to embarrass myself in front of reading it and wonder what impression it gives them. If nothing else, just remember what’s on the internet is there forever. So be careful.