There are many things in the world which we want. However, no matter how much money you have or how great your grades are or how many friends you have, it is human nature to desire more. What about that friend who seemingly gets everything they want? Yes, them too, even more-so than most.
Now, I’m not talking about objects. Tangible things are easy. If you want a new pair of shoes or to lose a couple pounds, no problem. You can get those things alone. The sticky part comes when what you want depends on other people.
Girls are specialists in wanting what, or more specifically who, they can’t have. Once a girl sets her focus on one person, it takes everything short of the jaws of life to rip her from her idea of who that person is. Why is this? Because girls are eternal optimists. We think that we can reach any goal or get any person we want if we try hard enough. So, girls wear their prettiest clothing and put on their fakest smiles and act their most appealing, hoping to get the attention of one person who most likely isn’t even looking. And that’s a difficult concept to accept. However, it’s a very real fact of life that some people in your life just won’t pay that much attention to you. Sorry to break it to you.
Whether the object of a female’s affection is interested in someone else or merely not interested in them for whatever reason or no reason at all, no manicure or $300 pair of heels is going to change that fact.
We have all grown up being told that everyone is beautiful and you can do anything you set your mind to. However, as committed as you are and as smart as you are and as anything as you are, no one on this earth has the ability to alter the emotions of those around us. Hard as we may try, it simply cannot be done. Therefore, girls will pine for way too long over a version of reality that probably will never exist.
Now, this isn’t to say that guys don’t do the same thing. boys certainly want things and people they can’t have. They’re just less passive about it. Whereas girls will subtly drop hints or silently admire from afar, boys are more likely to act on their desires. And at least on this issue, I’m giving credit to the boys, as they hold strong in the face of rejection and at least get an answer. When you take a shot, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether or not you have a chance. And as much as rejection and the embarrassment that can accompany this effort is painful to experience, that embarrassment and rejection and pain is fleeting. You can move on much more quickly and completely knowing that nothing you could’ve done would change this outcome. But pining, hopping that minor superficial changes will pique someone interest is torturous, and it is long term. It is indecisive. The eternal “what if” is much more damaging than a one-time “oh well.”
Here, we have something to learn from the boys. Girls need to get over their fears of rejection and embrace the possibility of embarrassment as the price of possible happiness. Do the risks really outweigh the reward?