Valentine’s Day

Whether to you it’s Valentine’s Day or Single’s Awareness Day, it’s coming up.

Valentine’s Day is a lot like New Year’s Eve (besides having poorly regarded movies despite an A-list-saturated cast). Both holidays are hyped up for weeks, only creating high expectations which inevitably are left unmet.

Now, I hate the “Hallmark-Created Holidays” preachers as much as the next person, but out of all the conspiracy theorists out there, these have the most valid point. Men shell out hundreds of dollars on drug store chocolates adorned in red tin foil and reject teddy bears that give you recurring nightmares. (Don’t act like you haven’t seen them). It’s just absurd.

First of all, since when does a stuffed animal and a box Russell Stover’s count as a romantic gesture? If you and your significant other subscribe to the Valentine’s Day hype, then do it right. It may sound cliche, but do something that actually comes from the heart. Even a Hallmark card with a nice handwritten message inside goes further than a 3 foot stuffed animal with a bear-related pun.

I know it’s difficult to do big romantic gestures from a dorm room, so here are some suggestions for your and your SO this V-day.

1. Don’t overshoot it. Not everyone needs a big romantic evening, and you should know whether or not your SO is one of those people. Instead of a big romantic dinner or home-cooked meal, why not go to Baby’s and share a milkshake? Just enough cliche, but it won’t cost you 2 weeks pay.

2. Take advantage of our surroundings. As of now, it’s supposed to snow on Saturday in State College, and we have the advantage of what I believe to be one of the prettiest snow-fallen campuses in the country. Snow is nature’s own aphrodisiac. Take a walk holding hands, buy hot chocolate, have a snowball fight, have a stranger take a picture of the two of you in front of old main. Any of it, all of it, isĀ gag-inducing cute. And I know you probably don’t want to be spending your Valentine’s Day freezing in the snow, but think about it. Once you’re done, all either of you will want to do is curl up next to each other trying to warm up.

I know what you’re thinking, and no, I didn’t forget about the singletons on Valentines day. Here’s your to-do list.

1. Get French Fries. Or Nachos. Or really any salty junk food. It’s comforting, but not in the depression-inducing manner that chocolate gets you.

2. Watch an action/comedy. Avoid chick flicks at all costs. Even the movie “Valentine’s Day” is a no. They’re all just going to make you sit there wallowing in self-pity wondering why you weren’t given Rachel McAdams’ bone structure. So go for something with less of an emphasis on the romantic plot-line. For this year, my movie of choice is Guardians of the Galaxy. I haven’t seen it yet, but Zoe Saldana is painted green, and, honestly, who doesn’t want to see quirky Chris Pratt shirtless.

3. Go to CVS. Not on Saturday. Go on Sunday when all of the Valentine’s Day is 75% off. Drown your insecurities and self-pity in chocolate the next day, when at least you have the droning of unsatisfied girlfriends to comfort you. Trust me, you’ll feel better.

So, whether you are starting a relationship, in a relationship, or riding solo, you can still have a half-decent Valentine’s Day (because that’s really as good as it gets). So go out there and have fun! And remember, theres always 75% off chocolate the next day.