Intimidation and Introduction

To start out this post, I want to give you a back story for why I am writing about it. And I don’t think I’m the only one who’s experienced this.

So there is this guy that I see EVERYWHERE. No exaggeration, I see him an average of 3 times a day in random places. Obviously, I do not know this person. I do not know his name or anything about him save for where he is at a few¬†times during the day. With only awkward eye contact as my evidence, I have a hard time believing he hasn’t noticed me and/or thought I’m stalking him. Regardless of the fact that I think he’s pretty attractive, I feel like we see each other enough in a day that the only logical thing to do would be to introduce myself. However, I have no idea how to go about this.

If you talk to basically any guy on campus, they will say that they would absolutely love if a girl just randomly walked up to them and introduced herself. And while most girls realize that, we still are very uncomfortable with the idea of starting up a conversation with a guy we don’t even know.

There’s so much that I don’t understand about this phenomenon. Why is it that girls can go up to a random girl and say how much they love her hair/scarf/shoes/whatever and yet can’t introduce themselves to a guy? What do we expect? I don’t think any guy is going to respond poorly to a girl talking to him unsolicited. Sure, it might be awkward, but does it really matter?

Now, some people may say that guys are in the same boat, seeing as guys are often hesitant to introduce themselves to girls. But there’s some sense to that. At least on this campus, girls have a tendency to assume that any guy that takes 12 seconds to have a conversation with her is trying to sleep with her, and respond accordingly. Most of the guys I know have plenty of stories where they do something as simple as ask a girl a question about class and have her respond with a snip about having a boyfriend. Regardless of how presumptuous a reaction this is to have, it happens. And I understand that it can be humiliating. So guys, I can see how you would be hesitant to introduce yourself to a girl. But girls, what’s our excuse?

Now, I don’t have any sort of an answer to this problem. I’m just as awkward as everyone else. So to this, I ask you, fellow classmates, what is the big stigma with introductions? Is it our tendency to fall back on technology that deters us from real honest-to-God conversation? And additionally, if you are a guy, would you be okay with a girl randomly walking up to you and starting a conversation? What is the best way to go about it? Is it creepy to say that you’ve noticed someone around? Why do I have so many questions? Why is this so awkward? Help?

4 thoughts on “Intimidation and Introduction

  1. In my honest masculine opinion, I might not have the same amount attraction for her once she talked to me. I think the chase is the best part of a simple crush. Maybe try to drop some hints and he will pick up on it. The hardest thing to overcome as a guy is being unsure whether she likes you or not. We just want to be certain our instincts are right. Give him a reason to come and talk to you!

  2. This post is pretty funny, but I totally relate. My advice, on the philosophical side, is that you should totally totally get to know this guy because I completely believe in soulmates and I feel like you’d be ignoring some pretty obvious signs that the universe is throwing out there. Hey, maybe when you’re married you can show him this embarrassing blog post you wrote about him and he’ll think its cute and you guys will laugh about it. On the practical side, I do realize this can be really difficult, because like, everyone here is a stranger. That’s why I feel like I’m hesitant to introduce myself. I’m just really afraid. Like what if he’s a weirdo or a murderer or is weirded out by you! But I guess that’s just the chance you have to take…and I’ve gotten better at it myself because here at a huge campus like Penn State, we have the luxury to never see someone again if we want to. So aside from a potential 1 second awkward eye contact if you run into him again, what have you got to lose?

  3. As a guy I can definitely relate. Outside of the first week of school, its become very hard to just go up to someone and introduce yourself. Being in ROTC, every time I mention I first it to a girl, they usually say something along the lines of how good we look in uniform. Yet, I would never know it, because girls never come up and talk to us/compliment us. I think this happens because when it comes to flirting/dating, the impetus is definitely placed on the guys shoulder to make the initial introduction and show interest. Because girls introducing themselves is so rare, when a girl does introduce herself, we automatically assume that she is interested in us, even if she is just being friendly.

  4. I think when it comes to introductions, a lot of people want to introduce themselves, but don’t know where to begin. And I completely agree with you. I don’t know why. Especially during freshman year, no one knew each other coming into a new year at a new university, so there really is nothing wrong about going up to a stranger and introducing yourself. I have a similar situation too. I keep crossing paths with this one guy all the time, and we make eye contact and stuff, but it’s like we are too far away to actually introduce ourselves, which only makes it more awkward

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