Face-scaping

Facial hair is a topic of heated debate among college men. They’re just approaching that age where they can finally grow their beard so that it covers all of the desired area, and many guys explore the possibilities of their facial hair. Here are my personal top 5 facial hair designs.

1. Full facial scruff: maintained scruff is my personal weakness in terms of facial hair. I don’t know why, but I just think it looks great. Number one in my book in terms of facial hair.

1. Clean Shaven: ┬áthis is tied with full facial scruff because it depends on the person. Some people look better clean shaven, and some people look better with scruff. I don’t know what causes one or the other, but both look pretty good

2. Long beard: The motif of this post for facial hair (in case you haven’t noticed) is maintenance. A long beard with mustache as long as it is not unkempt looks decent on a good amount of people, but not everyone. It takes a certain type of guy to pull it off (basically people who can grow them), but as far as I can tell, guys tend to know whether or not they can pull off this look. Again, keep it trimmed though.

3. Goatee: Goatee’s actually work on the majority of people. ┬áThat is, when paired with a connecting mustache, otherwise it’s not very attractive. However, if you want to have a goatee, it cant be too long. Then it’s just awkward. Keep it clean.

4. Chin Strap Beard: I’m not sure how I feel about chinstrap beards. Most of the time they’re not completely terrible, but sometimes they just look downright douchey. It’s difficult territory, so tread lightly.

 

5. Mustache: If you only have a mustache and are under the age of 45, it doesn’t work. I’m sorry. It just doesn’t. Stop trying. You’re probably scaring small children. Shave.

 

6. Beard with no mustache: some people can pull it off, but you probably can’t. Sad, but true. Sorry I’m not sorry.

7. Neckbeard: I have seen exactly one person ever that can pull off a neckbeard and even that is a bit of a stretch. If you cannot grow hair above your jawline, I recommend staying clean shaven.

8. Soul patch: unless you are a hillbilly banjo player, I’m not sure why you would ever consider growing a soulpatch. Just do us all a favor and don’t.

9. Sideburns: No. Go home. Stop. Rethink your life choices. Go to church. Call your mom.

10. Mutton Chops: I had a history teacher who had mutton chops. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night screaming because of them.

 

Facial hair is a form of expression for some guys, so, honestly, you do you. Try out whatever you want. Have fun while your grandmother isn’t around to yell at you for it. Maybe you’re that one person who can pull it off. It’s unlikely, but who am I to tell you how to frame your face.

One thought on “Face-scaping

  1. After being a strong contributor to the chinstrap community, I now may need to reconsider my life choices. That pool was obviously a little to shallow to swim in. Now I think I am going to give maintained scruff a try. I appreciate your honesty and your expert advice!

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