Tag Archives: Priorities

Give Yourself a Little Grace

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We’ve reached that point in the semester when everyone is exhausted and overwhelmed.  The stretch from Labor Day to Thanksgiving break seems eternal.  The will to do what is required isn’t as strong as it needs to be.  This happens every year at this time.  And it’s not just a student sentiment.  The faculty and staff are right there too.

You may think I’m about to head into a “you can do this” pep talk.  But I’m not.  Today I want to focus on how it’s ok to give yourself a little grace.  On Sunday when I got back from a four day training conference, my email was a little out of control.  I thought about logging in and trying to clear out the jam Sunday night.  But I gave myself a little grace.  I let the email sit until Monday.  And because of that I did not get my weekly email out on Monday like I normally do.  But it’s email and the Moneywise Tip.  Nobody is going to die if these things are delayed by 24 hours.  And giving myself that concession was a better choice for my mental health.

I’m not saying that you should skip classes and turn in assignments late.  I am saying that sometimes things you are working on won’t be quite up to your standards.  Sometimes you may have to say no to something you would prefer to take on.  Sometimes you will have to pass on a social event.  Sometimes you may substitute a convenience option from the supermarket rather than making something from scratch.  Corners may be cut.  And it’s ok to give yourself a little grace.  Nobody is perfect.  Nobody has infinite time.  Everyone is tired.

Life can be overwhelming.  Especially when you are in law school, and you see exams peeking around the corner.  Take a breath.  Look at your priorities.  If you can take something off your plate, do it.  If there is someone who can help you, ask.  Give yourself a little grace.  Is the world going to end?  Is anybody going to die?  Likely not.  It’s ok to make yourself a priority.  And now…what you expected earlier….you can do this!!!

What is Normal Anyway?

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Buckle up!  It’s going to be a bumpy ride!

January 2020:  Everything is normal. Let’s have a great spring semester!

March 2020:  The world is ending.  Everybody go home and stay there.

August 2020:  Let’s proceed cautiously.  Stay home if that’s best for you, come to school cautiously if that’s best for you.

January 2021:  Vaccine exists!!!  Use all your best Ticketmaster skills to get an appointment.

May 2021:  Things are starting to look normal again!

July 2021:  Delta variant is now dominant.  Nothing is normal.

August 2021:  Mask up and accept the new normal.

January 2022:  Omicron variant is dominant.  Nothing will ever be normal again.

The last two years have been a whirlwind of change throughout the world.  I only vaguely remember a life where I would go to work without a mask, go out to dinner in a restaurant every week, and go to crowded concerts without a care in the world.  I believe that used to be my normal.  But the reality is that “normal” is always a changing thing. It always has been and it always will be.

Just as the pandemic has us adjusting to a new definition of normal every few months, your financial life will have you adjusting to a new definition of normal every several years.  Financial priorities will shift as you move through the many phases of life.  As a young child, the focus is usually saving allowance and birthday money for that special toy.  As a teenager, the goal may be a car or a smartphone, and you may take on a part-time job to attain that goal.  As a college student financial goals may include books, rent, groceries, and a spring break trip with friends.  As a law student, books, rent and groceries are still priority, but a bar prep class also becomes an important goal.  In early career you will be looking at student loan repayment, starting your retirement savings, and purchasing a home and/or automobile.  Then marriage and children become common goals. And eventually you become more and more focused on what is now my financial priority, a comfortable retirement.

Life isn’t static.  Everything changes.  The pandemic has taught us that on no uncertain terms.  Let that lesson guide you through the financial roller coaster that lies ahead of you.  The definition of what is “normal” is going to continue evolving throughout your life.  It’s going to be a bumpy ride.  So just hang on tight and enjoy it.

 

Rings of Priority

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My weekend was too short for my plans.  This seems to happen all the time.   But this weekend was particularly bad.  After what seems like 14 years of sitting at my tiny desk in my guest room staring endlessly at a computer screen, I have a very small vacation coming up at the end of this week.  Those of you who have been following my adventures for some time know that I have a tiny teardrop camper that I love to escape in.  This weekend I was working on my little camper in preparation for my first trip of the year.  My goal was to make a few little upgrades to the camper and to clean and prepare the camper and other gear for the upcoming trip.

Armed with my cordless drill, I started in on the upgrades.  And I very quickly got frustrated.  Putting new hinges and a pneumatic lift on the underbed storage looked so easy in the YouTube video I watched.  But that just didn’t translate to my reality.  Eventually I realized that if I kept devoting my time to the project that I wanted to do, I wouldn’t have enough time left to finish the projects that I needed to do.  So I abandoned the upgrades and focused on what was necessary to get the camper ready to roll this next weekend.  I can live without a lift under the bed.  I can’t as easily live without clean bedding and a supply of water in the tank.

There are many times in life that what we hope for and what we actually can achieve are two different things.  But it’s important to keep focus enough to make sure that what we actually do achieve includes those things that are necessary to achieve.

This is one of those concepts that applies in all areas of life, including managing your money.  There will almost never be enough money available to you to fund everything that you dream about.  And you need to make sure that your basic expenses are always covered.  But there is usually room in the budget for you to have more than just what is necessary.  And only you can decide what is important enough for you to include in that second ring of priorities.  One of my favorite nutshell statements is, “You can have anything you want….you just can’t have everything you want.”  This shows you just how true that is.

The To Do List Levels Up

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I’m in over my head.  I’ve got too many balls in the air.  I’m drowning.  I’m buried.  I’ve got a lot on my plate. I’m up to my ears in everything. I have too many irons in the fire.  I’m swamped. There are a million ways to say it and it all boils down to the same thing:  I’m uncomfortably busy.

This is normal for me this time of year.  The financial aid profession kind of comes to a head in the month of March as everything is suddenly time sensitive and important.  It’s a mad scramble to finish up the current academic year and prepare for summer, all while focusing an enormous amount of attention to new applicants and admitted students for the fall, and also preparing the graduating 3Ls for the idea of student loan repayment.  Add to this being more than a year into a global pandemic while also juggling personal and family responsibilities and it’s no wonder I’m exhausted.

This happens to everybody at one point or another (and will continue to do so throughout life).  You have so much going on that it becomes difficult to sort out what to do first.  Everything is urgent.  Everything is the most important.  And you can’t do it all at the same time.

Like many folks, I use a To Do List to sort out my daily responsibilities.  But this time of year, I take it to the next level.  I prioritize my list.  First I use letters.  If it has to be done today, it gets an A.  If today would be ideal, but it won’t suffer for waiting until tomorrow, it gets a B.  If it can wait more than one day, it gets a C.  Then come the numbers.  Now that the list is already sorted, the most important/urgent A gets a 1, the next important A gets a 2, and so on until everything on my list has a letter/number priority code.  This takes away a lot of the sense of being overwhelmed because I know what order I need to do things in.

While the To Do List itself is a form of self-care, it’s important to include taking care of yourself in your priorities.  Take a shower.  Go for a walk.  Watch a favorite TV show.  Eat some vegetables. Pay your bills that are due next week. File your income tax.  If there’s a chance you won’t do it if it’s not included in the list, then by all means put it on the list!  Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of business.  Always.

Life can be overwhelming.  A prioritized To Do List can help.  Really.

Things I’m Looking Forward To: A Perspective Change

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Undated planners have become a big thing in the last couple of years.  And I jumped on board.  I use the Panda Planner.  I never really use the calendar part of it.  That part of my life is much easier to manage electronically (Outlook for my work life, Google for my personal life, and a smart phone app that combines them together for me on my phone).  But I love my planner because it helps me to focus my attention on the things that matter.

My planner has a daily To Do List as well as an area to prioritize those tasks, and also a place to identify the day’s focus and a place to track my exercise.  But the part of my planner that has been most helpful during this time of social distance is two daily small lists.  Every day my planner asks me to list three things that I am grateful for and three things that I am looking forward to.  When I look back to the “before times,” my lists were very different than they are now.  Some staples on my grateful list have always included my cats, my husband, music, and coffee.  My looking forward to lists have often included travel, music festivals, concerts, and nights out at my local brewpub.  And while I am still grateful for those things and am still hopeful that I’ll be able to attend a music festival again someday, my priorities have become different over the last month.

I regularly write down that I am grateful for a job that allows me to work from home, a good broadband internet connection, a house with some outdoor space, and the occasional sunny day.  I could easily make a list of 10 or more things I’m grateful for every single day.  But the looking forward to lists have gone a whole different direction, and are much more difficult to produce in this time when every day seems exactly like the one before.  I find myself looking forward to dragging my wagon full of recyclables down the street to the temporary drop off spot.  I look forward to whatever my husband is creating for dinner each day.  I look forward to a phone call with my parents.  I look forward to whatever my current binge watch is (currently The Sopranos, so I should be good for a long time).  I look forward to a treadmill run.  A craft project.  A virtual happy hour.  I’ve learned that I can look forward to the little things, much like I’m grateful for the little things.  It’s a change in perspective to accommodate the current times.  But I hope that I can carry it forward into the new normal once we get there.  Because looking forward to things (and of course being grateful for things) feels good.  And we could all stand to feel good right now.

Focus on the Positive

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When life becomes difficult, I often turn to one specific line from a Sheryl Crow song.  “It’s not having what you want.  It’s wanting what you’ve got.”

This is time of great uncertainty.  Not just at Penn State.  Not just in the United States.  This is a global time of not knowing what is next.  And at times like this it is really easy to focus on the negative—all the things you can’t have or do.  We can’t be in our law school building.  We can’t hang out with friends.  We can’t eat in restaurants or drink in bars.  We can’t attend live music concerts or festivals (and many of you know this is my favorite thing to do!).  We’re all going a little stir crazy.  But changing the focus to the positive side can go a long way in uncertain times.

We are fortunate in so many ways.  We can’t be in our law school building.  But classes and services are still happening through the magic of technology that didn’t even exist not too long ago.  We can’t hang out with our friends in person.  But we can call.  We can Facetime.  We can Zoom.  We can watch Netflix together.  We can use the social networks (as a Gen-Xer I’ve favored Facebook as the best way to stay in touch with friends for a very long time).  We can’t eat in restaurants or drink in bars.  But we can buy groceries and take-out food (and beverage).  And it’s a great opportunity to explore cooking as a hobby!  We can’t attend live music concerts or festivals.  This one hits me close to home.  But there are a lot of recordings of concerts and festivals available to view and listen to.  I’m looking at this as an opportunity to listen to shows on the Internet Archive that I wasn’t able to attend .  And so many musicians are doing live performances from their living rooms right now!  The reality is I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to ticket prices for canceled festivals being refunded to my credit card.  Not-quite-quarantine is saving me a boatload of money!

We are, however, all going a little stir crazy.  It’s important to practice some self-care at this time.  Go for a walk or a run.  Fire up the YouTube workout videos.  It’s important to keep your body moving, even if you can’t really go anywhere.  Eat healthy foods.  Loading up on chips and chocolate to drown your sadness and fear will not help anything.  Eat some protein and vegetables.  That will actually make you feel better.  Establish a routine.  I’ve done everything I can to keep my remote work life as similar as possible to my on-campus work life.  I built myself a little office in the corner of my guest room.  That’s my daily 8 to 5 spot.  I turn on the lava lamp on top of my desk (yes….I’m very much a hippie) to symbolize the start of the day.  I turn it off when I finish working for the day.  I (usually) take a shower before I start working.  I get dressed.  Not dress-up clothes—I’m not crazy! But something other than what I sleep in.  These little steps make me feel more normal.  In a time that is very much not normal.  And I have to say, I’m liking it.  I’m comfortable in my new routine, and a little bit of comfort goes a long way right now.

It’s not having what you want.  It’s wanting what you’ve got.  And right now I’m so amazingly grateful that I’ve got so much that I want.

 

Put Your Money Where It Matters (to you)

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Money is always a game of juggling your priorities.  I became extra aware of it this weekend when I was talking with my father about my aging and ailing Toyota Prius.  The trunk doesn’t open on my Prius.  The latch broke a couple of months ago and my father asked me why I hadn’t had it fixed yet.  And I blathered something about not having time and money.  But then I realized that fixing the trunk just wasn’t my priority right now.  I find the time and money to go see my favorite bluegrass bands.  I always find the time and money to enjoy dinner out at my favorite brewpub on Friday nights.  I have the time and money to take a class every semester to work toward an academic goal.  It’s just not that important to me to be able to open the trunk on my Prius.  I will get it fixed eventually.  But it’s pretty easy for me to work around for now, so I just haven’t made it a priority.

I guess the tricky part with money is defining your priorities and making sure they’re not out of balance.  Making bluegrass festivals more important than repairing the broken trunk latch on a car that is otherwise fine isn’t a problem.  Making dinner out at the brewpub more important than paying the rent is a HUGE problem.  It’s a matter of making sure your NEEDS are met before you start throwing money at your WANTS.  And then you can decide how you are going to prioritize those wants.

I want to get my trunk repaired.  I just don’t want it more than I want concert tickets.  At least not this week.

Prioritization

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Lately I’ve found myself very pressed for time.  I just have more things that need to be done than I can reasonably fit into the amount of time I have available.  It happens to everyone from time to time.  I’m pretty sure it happens to law students more frequently than you’d like to think about.   There’s nothing you can do about it.  You just have to figure out a way to get through it.

So how do you work through these times?  It requires prioritization.  You have to analyze what really needs to be taken care of right away as opposed to what can wait a little bit longer.  The things that are most important, you address right away.  The things that are of less value to you (or to the people depending on you) get pushed to the back burner.  (As I’m writing this on Sunday afternoon, I’m coming to grips with the fact that getting a Moneywise Tip out on Monday morning was a higher priority to me than either getting a haircut or cleaning my bathroom.)

It works this same way with financial priorities.  Sometimes there’s not enough money for all of the things that you would like.  So you have to figure out what’s important enough to address right away (usually the requirements, like housing and food), and what can wait for a time when the cash flow is a bit better (usually things like concert tickets or new clothes).

So next time you’re wondering how to make your money stretch a little further, think about what’s the most important.  Prioritization can make the decisions a little easier.