It’s been a few weeks, but the secret plan to take over the world is back. I don’t think the plan needs any introduction after the first post, but I’ll briefly recap.

From the blog post on 9/9:

“As that student seeks out different methods of improving himself, he comes across a “self-help” book titled, How to Win Friends and Influence People. At first glance, the book seems like it’s not something you want to be seen reading, but upon further research, the student discovers how critically acclaimed it is… The entirety of the book is very structured in the sense that each chapter (If I remember correctly) is a different method of influencing people, so I’ll emulate this post after that and potentially split the blog into parts.”

Now that that’s done, we’ll continue with lesson 3.

3. Remember Their Name

We all know how difficult it is to remember someone’s name after first meeting them. Now, picture a time when someone remembered your name after you first met them

(especially those of you with “difficult” names. How did that person remembering your name make you feel? For most people, someone remembering their name makes them feel special and important. In the book, Carnegie writes, “ Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

4. Be Genuinely Interested in Other People

I found this one interesting because it highlighted a nuance of conversation that I didn’t really notice much: soliloquies. I’m not necessarily using that word because it fits the context, but I felt it was the best word to describe the situation. While we may not admit it, we love to talk about ourselves. Consequently, people believe you like them when you ask questions about themselves.

Carnegie writes, “You make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” If you break it down, you should listen 75% and only speak 25% of the time.”

5. Know the Value Of Charm

As college freshmen, we’ve been through numerous experiences that called on our use of charm. I’m sure you charmed your way to a few bonus points back in high school or charmed a parent for some new technology. Either way, we’ve subconsciously recognized the value of charm in all our lives.

With that said, the biggest takeaway from this aspect of the book was that people would rather spend time with someone they want to be around. That takeaway seems incredibly intuitive, but it serves as a constant reminder, especially considering the applications that such a realization has. Take jobs for example, studies show that recruiters would rather hire individuals they like being around and have mediocre skills over individuals they don’t like being around and have superb skills.

On the afternoon of July 10, 2015, Sandra Bland was pulled over on the suspicion that she was involved in criminal activity. A traffic stop became an arrest, and three days later, she was found hanged in a jail cell.

I know I said more to come at the end of the last blog post, but I lied. There is more to come, but not this week. I figured that it’d get boring if I talked about the same book week after week, so I’m switching my focus to Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers.

Talking to Strangers highlights the different aspects of our relationships and how many of those aspects often lead to misunderstandings. While the book does reference different situations, its main objective is to provide some level of understanding as to what occurred in the death of Sandra Bland.

The officer that pulled Sandra Bland over, Brian Encinia, was known for performing pretextual traffic stops*. On that fateful day, Encinia began following Sandra, accelerating on her rear at one point, causing her to change lanes. Gratuitously, Encinia pulled Sandra over for a failure to signal while changing lanes. In the series of events that followed, the interaction between the two became heated and Sandra was arrested. That was on July 10.

On July 13^th, Sandra was found “in a semi-standing position” hanging in her cell.

The summary I’ve given of the story is very curt, but I believe I’ve provided the main aspects: Sandra, a Black woman, was pulled over, the interaction between herself and the officer became heated, and Sandra died while in prison. There are a myriad of lenses to analyze this series of events through, namely racism and bad policing, but Malcolm opts to analyze these situations through our inability, as a society, to understand strangers.

Why did Officer Encinia create unsafe driving conditions? Why didn’t Officer Encinia use his training to analyze the situation at hand? The list of questions that this sickening situation produces is endless, but in the coming blogs, I’ll focus on the questions that Malcolm covers in his book.

See you next post.

* When an officer pulls over a motorist for a minor traffic or equipment violation and then uses the stop to investigate a more serious crime. (Pewtrusts.org)

I think this is appropriate…

Imagine a student in the sea of academically driven peers suppressed by the turbulent waves that are looming college deadlines. It’s junior year, and this student wants to do whatever he can to improve himself. Improvement for his sake of course and maybe a little bit for the sake of college applications.

As that student seeks out different methods of improving himself, he comes across a “self-help” book titled, How to Win Friends and Influence People. At first glance, the book seems like it’s not something you want to be seen reading, but upon further research, the student discovers how critically acclaimed it is.

Fast forward two years, I’ve read the book, and I still reference the notes that I took while reading it. If I’m being honest, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is one of the best books I’ve ever read, so I’ve decided to share some of my insights as well as the lessons I derived from the book.

The entirety of the book is very structured in the sense that each chapter (If I remember correctly) is a different method of influencing people, so I’ll emulate this post after that and potentially split the blog into parts.

Now, the part you’ve all been waiting for… HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE! Honestly, after all these years, I cringe every time I read that title, but that’s fine.

1. Don’t Criticize or Complain

As someone who grew up in an academically competitive environment, criticism was commonplace. It was important to show everyone that you had knowledge or that someone else did not. In retrospect, that sounds kind of cruel, but I guess that was just the unfortunate reality.

Dale Carnegie showed in his book was that nine times out of 10, criticism causes a person to become defensive. In fact, about where a person may be coming from when providing criticism, their criticism often leads to regression (where they may have been looking for progress) and feelings of resentment.

In summary, anyone can criticize. It takes a person with the self-restraint to be able to recognize situations when they should and shouldn’t be criticizing. The same goes for complaining.

2. Give Honest Sincere Appreciation

We’ve all been in situations where we felt the need to offer up some sort of insincere flattery. If you’re reading this as a part of Dr. O’Hara’s honors English class, I’m 1000% sure you’ve been in those situations before.

This lesson really speaks for itself, which is incredibly strange considering how often we partake in providing insincere appreciation. The best way to really exemplify this lesson is to picture yourself on the receiving end of appreciation. Would you rather interact with someone who displays a genuine appreciation for your actions or someone who’s insincere?

Ralph Waldo Emerson is noted to have said, “In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that, I learn from him.” my takeaway from that quote is that everyone can grow through their interactions, so express yourself in a manner that represents that growth potential.

More to come…

I’m killing it with the post titles…

Passion’s a funny thing because it entails recognizing that you’re attached to something. That might seem like a dumb statement but hear me out. I’ve always had a lot of interests, so saying I’m passionate about one of them almost feels like I’m neglecting the others.

However, quarantine offered the opportunity to do some reading, and I really got into “self-help” books. Ideally, that translates to reading a chapter from a “self-help” book and analyzing it through the lens of my personal life, social expectations and current events.

Another idea would be to document my experience at Penn State in a tourist-type manner. Doing so would force me to experience all that PSU has to offer from tailgating at football games to flying chicken at Pollock.

I’ll probably end up doing the first one though lol.