I think this is appropriate…
Imagine a student in the sea of academically driven peers suppressed by the turbulent waves that are looming college deadlines. It’s junior year, and this student wants to do whatever he can to improve himself. Improvement for his sake of course and maybe a little bit for the sake of college applications.
As that student seeks out different methods of improving himself, he comes across a “self-help” book titled, How to Win Friends and Influence People. At first glance, the book seems like it’s not something you want to be seen reading, but upon further research, the student discovers how critically acclaimed it is.
Fast forward two years, I’ve read the book, and I still reference the notes that I took while reading it. If I’m being honest, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is one of the best books I’ve ever read, so I’ve decided to share some of my insights as well as the lessons I derived from the book.
The entirety of the book is very structured in the sense that each chapter (If I remember correctly) is a different method of influencing people, so I’ll emulate this post after that and potentially split the blog into parts.
Now, the part you’ve all been waiting for… HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE! Honestly, after all these years, I cringe every time I read that title, but that’s fine.
- Don’t Criticize or Complain
As someone who grew up in an academically competitive environment, criticism was commonplace. It was important to show everyone that you had knowledge or that someone else did not. In retrospect, that sounds kind of cruel, but I guess that was just the unfortunate reality.
Dale Carnegie showed in his book was that nine times out of 10, criticism causes a person to become defensive. In fact, about where a person may be coming from when providing criticism, their criticism often leads to regression (where they may have been looking for progress) and feelings of resentment.
In summary, anyone can criticize. It takes a person with the self-restraint to be able to recognize situations when they should and shouldn’t be criticizing. The same goes for complaining.
- Give Honest Sincere Appreciation
We’ve all been in situations where we felt the need to offer up some sort of insincere flattery. If you’re reading this as a part of Dr. O’Hara’s honors English class, I’m 1000% sure you’ve been in those situations before.
This lesson really speaks for itself, which is incredibly strange considering how often we partake in providing insincere appreciation. The best way to really exemplify this lesson is to picture yourself on the receiving end of appreciation. Would you rather interact with someone who displays a genuine appreciation for your actions or someone who’s insincere?
Ralph Waldo Emerson is noted to have said, “In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that, I learn from him.” my takeaway from that quote is that everyone can grow through their interactions, so express yourself in a manner that represents that growth potential.
More to come…
This is a very interesting blog topic! Makes me want to read the book. Great use of images.
Wonderful choice of topic and book might I add, I do believe (irocincally enough) that you concentrated a bit too much on critisism and somewhat disregarded “complaining” with a simple “The same thing goes for complaining”. I would love to see more detail about situations in which it is appropriate, as there is a time and place for everything.
I really enjoy the format and structure of this blog, along with the topic. I definitely gain some interest in the book you talked about and the pictures and images used were very helpful.
I didn’t even know a book like this existed, but after reading your blog I really want to go out and buy it. I liked how you connected the topics of the book to a stressed out high school or college students, and the important lessons that the book provided in order to provide insight into aspects of life. I also like the practical nature of the blog and how all of us can take something away from it to be viewed better in society.