The last time I posted in this series was September 23rd, so it’s been a minute. Again, I don’t think the book needs much of an introduction given how interesting I hope I’ve made it sound, but if not, here’s a recap of both the book and the previously discussed lessons derived from the book.
“As that student seeks out different methods of improving himself, he comes across a “self-help” book titled, How to Win Friends and Influence People. At first glance, the book seems like it’s not something you want to be seen reading, but upon further research, the student discovers how critically acclaimed it is… The entirety of the book is very structured in the sense that each chapter (If I remember correctly) is a different method of influencing people, so I’ll emulate this post after that and potentially split the blog into parts.”
Up to this point, we’ve covered five lessons:
- Don’t Criticize or Complain
- Give Honest Sincere Appreciation
- Remember Their Name
- Be Genuinely Interested in Other People
- Know the Value of Charm
If you want to review those lessons, feel free to read about lessons 1-2 here and 3-5 here. Now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s move on to this week’s lessons. Before we start, I’d like to preface this by saying I really resonated with this week’s lessons because they tackle instances that I face in my daily life. That statement might’ve been unnecessarily ambiguous, but I hope for two things: a.) that what I’ve said will make sense at the end of this post and b.) that you’ll also be able to resonate with the lessons from the book.
With that said, let’s begin our discussion of this week’s lessons.
- Be Quick to Acknowledge Your Own Mistakes
One of the biggest points of contention between people is birthed from our tendency as individuals to not humble ourselves. We often let our pride get the best of us, which inadvertently creates divisions within our relationships. If we want to make others less defensive and more agreeable, we must admit our mistakes and be humble.
- Don’t Attempt to Win an Argument
I love this lesson because of how well Carnegie describes it in the book. He writes about an experience he had while at an important dinner party with a mentor. During the dinner, Carnegie got the opportunity to talk with an important donor, which led to further discussion about a topic that Carnegie was knowledgeable about.
As the donor was talking about the topic, Carnegie noticed that he was incorrect in some of the things he mentioned and tried to correct him. One thing turned to another, and the correction quickly became an argument that Carnegie won. After leaving the venue, Carnegie’s mentor expressed how disappointed he was in Carnegie for trying to argue with the important donor. Why? Well as Carnegie writes, “A man convinced against his will/Is of the same opinion still.”
More to come next week.
Great lessons yet again! I especially like how you spoke about not trying to win an argument, however I believe that you can expand on that and speak of ways in which you could, passively and with control and restraint win an argument and leave the person with a pleasant feeling rather than a feeling of being disaproved and wronged.
Man this passion blog is something that I look forward to every week. These are lessons that seem so common knowledge, yet like nobody follows them. These were extremely pertinent to me, as I find myself many times trying to win an argument by raising my voice, and making up random facts just for the sole purpose of winning. Also, sometimes we say stuff in a “subtle flex”, and I feel that many of us need to genuinely humble ourselves and realize that we live for ourselves, and that nobody else extremely care on the good thing that you always want to flex.