Over winter break, I finally had the opportunity to read Know My Name, a memoir by Chanel Miller. That name probably doesn’t mean anything to you. You know Chanel as Emily Doe. The Emily Doe that started a revolution against rape culture and the injustices that sexual assault victims must go through.
Maybe you don’t even know her by Emily Doe. Maybe you only remember her rapist’s name, as history so often scrubs over women in favor of the men who abused them. Do you know Brock Turner? Brock Turner: Stanford student, D1 swimmer, beloved son, etc. Personally, none of these labels mean anything to me except one: Brock Turner, convicted rapist.
Miller’s case garnered national attention after her victim impact statement was released anonymously to the media. I think every young adult should read her words at least once – the power of her words is not lost in its brevity. Brock only ended up getting sentenced to three months in jail. Chanel wasted years of her life on this sorry excuse of life, had her consent disrespected, and worst of all had these labels pasted on her in the courtroom. Chanel Miller: alcoholic, slut, easy, attention-seeker, liar, nasty woman.
When I read Know My Name, I was struck by the intensity at which she was able to outline her feelings. What I found most poignant was her insistence that this trial was not her life. She refused to be known as Emily Doe, silent survivor. She refused to be known as Chanel Miller, sexual assault victim. Women are layered. We have more to us than just our trauma. And most of all, the brunt of all injustice should not be placed on one individual’s shoulders. Yes, we can identify with Emily Doe. Emily Doe has become an universal voice for survivors, but by equating Chanel’s entire existence to the worst moment of her life with Brock, we disrespect her autonomy once again.
If there’s one moment of the memoir that stuck with me the most, it’s when Chanel speaks about the media reframing her assault and book as her “finding her voice.” This is not the case.
“I did not come into existence when he harmed me. She found her voice! I had a voice, he stripped it, left me groping around blind for a bit, but I always had it. I just used it like I never had to use it before. I do not owe him my success, becoming, he did not create me. The only credit Brock can take is for assaulting me, and he could never even admit to that.”
Women’s lives are not born out of the mistakes of men. We are more than that. We need to do better than that. And most of all, when we hear about cases like Chanel’s, we must remember that we too all run the price of becoming an Emily Doe. Know her name, but do more. Respect her, believe her, protect her, because at the end of the day, all nasty women must really do is support each other.