The Truth in Lies

“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar” (Accredited to Twain via Mark Twain and I, Read)

Personally I have always valued honesty over politeness. Am I attempting to sell you the story that I do not lie? Not at all. We all lie. We lie, all the time, in fact.   Some are little, while others are much more pronounced. So, why do we lie?

In my first post I talked briefly about social structure and our efforts for inclusion. These social groups, which we find ourselves in or seek, enforce a certain set of norms and expectations. Through dramaturgical approach, we carry out these sets of rules to chase inclusion to the group, creating a feeling of belonging. Erving Goffman developed this dramaturgical approach to the presentation of self in everyday life, as his study is named.   Goffman presented a theory of how we act socially and compared it to the theater. We’re acting. Dramaturgy views social interaction as a performance portrayed to an audience based on one’s manifestation of what another individual wants or the social group expects. This flows throughout the group, and polarizes to perform for outer groups. Accentuation effect takes place here exaggerating the dynamics of the group simultaneously, and usually negatively, exaggerating the perceived dynamics of the outer group. Most often the outer group finds itself in contrast to the included group. Depersonalization and deindividuation occur as one conforms to the groups’ dynamics and homogenizes with drive towards the prototypical member of the group. As mentioned earlier, some of these groups are not exactly chosen.

“Since the reality that the individual is concerned with is unperceivable at the moment, appearances must be relied upon in its stead. And, paradoxically, the more the individual is concerned with the reality that is not available to perception, the more must he concentrate his attention on appearances.” (Erving Goffman, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life)

In my most recent post I entertained the concept of fear. Fear uses us in many ways, and deserves the gold medal for being the number one cause for lying.   For the most prevalent example,  one pairs fear with the concepts of the generalized other and the looking-glass self.   Now, introduce the desire of belonging. Through dramaturgical approach, the manifested expectations of others produce fear causing the lie of theater portrayed to our audience. For another example, at times this fear can present the lie in forms of exclusion rather than inclusion, defining groupthink.

Fear is the main reason we lie.

Humility and humbleness are the signs of great people.