goal: 

 

find the balance  

between being 

productive and  

being patient 

 

-yung pueblo 

 

This poem gives the vibe that it is attainable to check off your list by its structure alone. The short choppy lines grab your attention. The diction productive and patient both start with a p, and I believe this is smart when it comes to the reader remembering yung pueblo’s message. It leads the reader to question the idea that one can be too productive. 

When I first read this poem, I thought, “How can someone be too productive.” Then I remembered I hadn’t given myself the time to watch a full episode of Bridgerton in the past week. It is time to start applying for summer internships, and I believe in the motto, don’t stop because someone somewhere is going to outwork you. When in reality, I could turn the application in on time rather than being the first person. By waiting, I could let my thoughts marinate because not everything in life is a race.  

I have worked my entire life. I started a paper route when I was eight with my neighbor. I am high-strung, and I will never not be seen working. Well maybe that is a little too far, but I am always juggling fifteen events and class and work and friends and clubs. It’s safe to say that I do not like rest. 

As crazy as it seemed the other day, I had to tell myself it was okay to nap. I literally thought, “Paige you’re in liberal arts, it’s okay, you can rest.” I believe that because I am studying liberal arts, I’m surrounded by others who are constantly learning new technology when I am just honing my soft skills, and I feel as if I am not doing as much, when I am.  

So, I fill my time applying for grants, internships, and study abroad, which is useful, but I could spend a little more time focusing on the balance in my life. 

I come from a family where we never rest. My parents both have two jobs, and I believe not having to work in college is a luxury. When I go to my lab for work, that is when I relax. It’s mindless work of cleaning and preparing the chemicals and materials. My job should not be the place where I say I am relaxing, and I am realizing how much of a workaholic I am as I type this. 

I guess my point is– It is hard to find balance. Especially when you are in Schreyer, when everybody is achieving at such a high level, I want to do the same. Sometimes, I forget that people only talk about the highlights in their lives, and I am not as behind as I think I am. So, I am on the search to find a balance between school, work, extracurricular activities, and achieving at a high level. Wish me luck! My friends said as I type this that it probably is not possible. 

they asked her,  

“are you wealthy” 

she responded, 

“yes. It took years to build, but now there  

is a palace in my heart that I have constructed  

out of awareness, calmness, and wisdom” 

-yung pueblo 

 

On my first read, I was trying to understand the connection between wealth and having awareness, calmness, and wisdom. I thought that if I was aware, calm, and wise, I could be rich. Then I had to take one more read, and it clicked. To be wealthy is not about money, to be wealthy is to understand your mental capabilities.  

This poem finds into the overarching theme of life that money does not buy happiness. Even though I am constantly questioning this statement, this poem opens our minds to say that true wealth is what lies in our brains. 

Yung Pueblo uses the framework of a question to force the reader to question what true wealth is. Does it lie in money? Does it lie in knowledge? Does it lie in family? He answers this question by stating it is a place in your heart where you are aware, calm, and wise. 

 So, what does this mean? His point is that to utterly understand life you need to take a step back, watch how your decisions impact others, and determine which direction you wish life to take you. By doing this one will gain wisdom to see beyond oneself and be well versed and self-sufficient with their lives. 

When I was on my journey to find the perfect college, I ran into the feeling as if I did not have enough wealth to fit in. Specifically, Ivy League Colleges. I felt as if I was a charity case, and I knew people could see that I was not rich by my clothes, my diction, and the way I presented myself. Money changes people’s outlook on life. I felt judged the entire time. I was aware of my every action. I was not calm. I did understand that I deserved to be there as much as the legacies due to my wisdom and my outlook on life. 

When choosing my perfect school, I understood that I lacked the certain monetary wealth that typically thrives in the environment of the Ivy League, and my voice was most likely going to be silenced. Whereas, at Penn State Schreyer Honors College, I felt heard, I felt valued, I felt wise, and I understood that this is where I belonged. At Penn State, I could be wealthy. I could branch out and explore the thousands of clubs here, I could travel the world, I could work with like-minded people, and most importantly I would never be viewed as lesser due to my monetary wealth because at Schreyer your cognitive wealth comes first. 

I will always wonder what life would have been like to attend UPenn, but I understand for sure that I fit in at Penn State and I made a great decision. 

Five lines. Five lines that will leave one to think for longer than five minutes. This poem includes fourteen words, and it conveys a large enough message to blog about. Pueblo uses no punctuation in this poem to leave the message lingering with the reader, it suggests openness and allows the audience to tailor the poem to themselves. 

I believe that most college-age students can reflect on their years since birth and know that they have had support systems that have carried them through. For example, parents tell their children they are great since they come out of the womb, and they are special. However, over the years some start to feel average, but we all have that one voice pushing us towards our dreams. As we get older, friends and teachers start to impact our self-worth more than parents.  

I am the definition of an underdog. Recently we discovered I have auditory processing disorder. “Auditory processing disorder (APD) is a term that refers to problems in how the brain understands speech. The sounds may be loud and clear. But people with APD don’t pick up on the subtle differences between them. “(www.understood.org). We did not know this until I turned 18. I was always deemed smart, and I was sectioned with the fast-paced classes. I always struggled to learn in lecture-styled classes, I cannot take it in the same as others. I noticed this during my sophomore year in lecture-based classes such as AP Biology. I struggled. My friends were relaying information to me over and over. The amount of help I needed to understand the message, killed me.  

I have never been one to ask for help. However, I typically relied on friends to reteach the lecture to me multiple times until I got it. When it came to conversation-style classes, I thrived. Once I understood what the lectures were truly conveying, it clicked, and I thrived. For my entire high school career, my friends and teachers saw an ability within me that I often did not see. When I struggled every day to understand the lecture, they were patient, when I was not. They carried me through my darkest moments, and they got me to a place where I see my own greatness.  

I was often overlooked. I was 33rd in my class of 120. My parents figured I would thrive in trade. I wanted to become a doctor, so I put hours upon hours into perfecting my work. It takes me an extra amount of time to comprehend, but I was driven to succeed, and I still am today. Without my friends and teachers seeing the underlying potential that needed a little extra attention, I would not have graduated 5th in my class, with many full-ride scholarships. I would not be in Schreyer Honors College. I would not be the most successful out of my High School graduating class.  

They helped me see my inner greatness. I had to be driven to reach my full potential. They did not leave me behind to fend for myself. They forced me to compete with the best. They forced me to not make excuses, but to use it to my advantage, understanding where my weaknesses lie, and how to improve. 

“ i spent most 

of my life 

trying to prove  

to myself and others 

that I had no pain 

and felt no sorrow”-yung pueblo 

 

Vulnerability depending on the circumstance and the generation can be seen as a weakness. I was raised to be strong, hold my head high, your problems are yours and you shall keep them bottled up inside. However, I believe vulnerability only makes you stronger. You conquered adversity, and now you can show vulnerability and help others feel less alone. Pain and sorrow lead people to feel vulnerable, and most people avoid vulnerability. 

I believe that yung pueblo purposefully keeps this poem short. It is powerful. Within six lines pueblo conveys the point that humans spend too much time trying to mask their feelings. It leaves the reader to wonder what life would be like if they acknowledged their pain and moved toward a better future. 

During my darkest times, I would focus my time “trying to prove/ to myself and others/ that I had no pain” (Lines 3-5). I understand that society tries to force us into a box of what our lives should consist of– accomplishments, family, love, and success. However, when one steps outside of the box to show what truly makes them, them, is when you have power over your life. 

I wrote my Schreyer admissions essay on my journey to becoming vulnerable. I was raised in a small town, where your puzzle is yours to solve, alone. Therapy was a sign of weakness. Crying was a sign of weakness. Failure was a sign of weakness. I spent much of my high school career trying to be what others wanted me to be. I put up a front that was identical to the girls I watched growing up on Disney. I had the latest clothes, a great friend group, a kind boyfriend, perfect grades, was involved in everything, was president of 8 clubs, and went to church weekly. I was always ready for my face to be put on the school website or social media. During this time, I was shallow. I was hiding who I truly was. I was much happier in my brother’s oversized t-shirts than in cute corsets, my friends were constantly turning their backs on one another to stay relevant, I learned that mistakes in my work taught me more than tore me apart, I learned that being a part of everything makes me less available to those I love and was also overwhelming and my way of working to hide my sorrows. 

I spent my senior year working towards becoming vulnerable and putting my pain on my sleeve. It was not easy. I was advocating for reaching out when recognized you needed help. I advocated for failure. Failure is where you learn at a greater capacity. I advocated for a safer place to accept who you are, living a life of fear and pain will only hold you back from the great potential that lies inside of everyone. 

“everyone is a teacher, but that does not mean everyone 

 is correct. 

 

there have been times in our lives when we have 

been a good example for those around us, while at  

other times we have not been a good example. if we 

recognize our own imperfections, it helps us have  

compassion for all people and look upon all as equals. 

 

just because someone was wrong once, it doesn’t mean  

they are going to be wrong forever. Similarly, just  

because we may perceive someone as wrong, it does  

not necessarily mean that we are right. In most cases 

we lack the perfect information required to form an  

objective and universal perspective. 

 

It is important to remember that we are all imperfect 

and that we all live through the limited perspective of  

Ego. 

 

Striving to learn as much as we can from one another  

without making harsh and permanent judgements is a 

sign of wisdom.”-  yung pueblo 

 

This poem starts out with a punch, “everyone is a teacher, but that does not mean everyone/is correct.” (Pueblo, Line 1 and 2). I believe that yung pueblo opens with this line to open the readers mind to questioning whether they are a teacher. When I read this my initial reaction was, I am not a teacher, but the more I thought about it, I am. I have certain interests that I have more knowledge than others and I can teach them, but I will not always be correct because I am not an expert in any field yet. Personally, I read and write a lot of poetry, but poetry is up to one’s own interpretation, so my teachings may hold bias to my own experiences. 

I interpret the second stanza as we are all humans, we can be great influences; however, sometimes when we are not in the spotlight, we will make choices that are not smart. When we recognize that we are not perfect, we can grow in emotional maturity, and gain compassion for others. Personally, I am not always the best example for those around me, I am susceptible to peer pressure, I live for adrenaline, and I make wrong decisions for the “heck of it”. I understand my mistakes and my imperfections, and I have become more accepting of those mistakes, we are all human, and wrongdoings shape us into who we are today. 

The third stanza represents that others have different interpretations of truth. They might be wrong, but sometimes the wrong is another person’s right. We all come from different backgrounds that shape us into who we are today, and sometimes we lack the entire picture before we start teaching, or we do not explore the worldly point of view before we take on an argument. 

The fourth stanza reminds us that we are all imperfect. Your ego is what establishes your confidence on a topic. Ego sometimes negatively affects the learning process, giving us a limited view. I have an ego. I do not necessarily believe that it hurts who I am as a person. I know my worth, and I am proud of how far I have come, which has given me inner pride, but it does sometimes get in the way of my understanding of others, giving me a limited perspective. 

Personally, I need to focus on the fifth stanza. I do try to understand everyone, especially the honors students around me because we all have so much to teach each other, and to accept everyone’s new ideas is a sign of wisdom because you can learn much from the people around you. 

“I do not wish 

To change the past 

 

It made me 

Who I am today 

 

I only want 

To learn from it 

And live in a new way”- yung pueblo 

Past can either hold you back, or you can move forward and live in the present. There is a phrase that carried me through tough times, “forgive doesn’t mean you have to forget.” Poetry has the ability to spark memories that I have overcome, and it allows me to feel less alone in the world. Poems such as this one provide me with a sense of comfort. 

I have lived many lives some say. I have often wished for a genie in a bottle to come give me three wishes, and I would have told him to wipe out my past from my memories. I prayed night and day for relief of my past. However, over the last year I learned that my past is what shaped me into who I am today. I am caring, I am aware, I protect those I love. Therefore, I would not wish to change the past— it used to consume me entirely, but I learned that I could use my past and advocate for others. I now have the ability to live in the present while using the emotional maturity I have gained to my advantage. 

This poem evoked my past. What lingers in my past was not my choice. I needed to accept that I was not at fault for what occurred. Even though I do not outright discuss it, it shapes almost every part of me today. I used to hate the power that it had over me, until I realized I was in control. What happened, happened, I learned that I can now be a kinder person, understanding that everyone has a story, and you can never truly understand what someone has gone through just by looking at them. 

I was silenced. My past chipped away at who I truly was. I was a shell of a person. I sought out help, yes, professional help. I learned that what occurred is my story, and I am in control of my present and future. You cannot reverse the past, you need to move forward, and learn how it helped develop you into the person you are today.  

I would not say I would go back and relive my past, but it no longer holds me back. Pueblo writes, “i do not wish/to change the past” (Lines 1 & 2).  I believe the past has made me confident, intelligent, stronger, and it forced me to realize I have a voice. My future would not be as successful without the knowledge I’ve gained, and the identity that formed from my experiences. 

Sometimes the past creeps up on you, but you need to remember it has shaped you into the impressive person you are today. Your story will take you far, when you learn to “live in a new way” (Pueblo, Line 7), your opportunities are endless. I live by the idea of letting your past shape you into a better person in the present. 

“i was never addicted; 

to one thing 

i was addicted to filling  

a void 

within myself 

with things other 

than my own love” 

-yung pueblo 

 

I love poetry. I love when it is straightforward, but the further you investigate the poem, you can find the true meanings of the words. My interpretations of the poems may be different than the author meant for it to be interpreted, but that is why poetry is meaningful, it is what you make out of it.  

The line “i was never addicted;” (Pueblo, Line 1). I have never had a conventional addiction, such as alcohol or drugs, so some readers may skip over this poem because they may not find it meaningful to them, if they just examine the first line. However, as a poet, I trust and keep reading because there is always a hidden meaning.  

“i was addicted to filling/ a void” (Pueblo, Lines 3-4). This is what opens the poem up to a generic audience. We have all filled a void with something. For me whenever I was in high school, I would fill my voids with AP classes and clubs, so I never had time to address my void. I never took a break. It was always go go go. I would say that filling your voids is addictive, leaving you never having to address the real problem that lingers.  

When looking at lines 4-8 as a whole the reader gains that what will truly fill the void is self-love, “a void/ within myself/ with things other/ than my own love” (Pueblo, lines 4-8). Self-love is hard to learn, especially as a teenager/young adult in western society. With social media and images of how you should look and how successful you should be, self-love is often pushed away, and filled with voids.  

This poem represents my journey to self-love. For me, I have never struggled with self-love of my mind, I know that I am a sharp thinker, and I offer new perspectives in many fields, and I have never had doubt in my capabilities to succeed intellectually. However, I did fall into the loophole in high school that is body dysmorphia and that led to further mental health problems. It is easy to compare yourself to others in your teenage years. Whenever I read these lines, the first thing to pop into my mind is how I used to fill my plate with activities and classes that I received validation from, which fulfilled my mental void and helped my confidence in my intellectual self-love journey, but it also distracted me from my physical self-love journey. By overloading myself with activities and college level classes, I never gave myself time to think; therefore, I never worried about self-love as a whole. My void was filled. Where I should have been practicing self-love, I was just filling voids. 

This poem reminds me that I need to focus on myself, to not feed into my addiction that is overloading my plate, leaving me to forget to self-love. Addiction is comfortable, it is not easy, but the first step is noticing there is a problem. I do have a problem, but this poem made me aware of the voids that I am filling, so I can better myself. 

I have multiple passions, but I narrowed it down to two of my passions. Theatre and Poetry. Both are artistic forms that I use to express myself and are a huge part of me that are lifelong passions.

Theatre is an activity that I have participated in since infancy, where I portrayed baby Jesus in the nativity. If I’m being a hundred percent honest, I did find my passion for theatre through the church, but not by playing baby Jesus as an infant. The congregation at my church pushed me to join community theatre when I was twelve, and I do not know where my life would be without signing up for my first production which was Elf. Jr. Since then, I have been in ten productions. I have been in every role from ensemble to being the last person to bow on stage. I have also worked on stage crew, ran lights, managed, and directed. I believe theatre has shaped me into the person I am today, each role and job developing my character in the real world.

I hated poetry for the longest time like every other student who was forced to do springboard and college board poetry. I had a life-changing experience with my creative writing teacher. I started winning competitions for my poetry, and I started reading poetry daily. Poetry is my escape from my busy life. There is no better feeling than whenever I produce a poem that knocks me back and surprises me with my ability to write powerfully. I try to write multiple poems a day, and I hope to write a book before I graduate.