THE S2 FINALE – POETRY FOR NEANDERTHALS

Two teams will battle it out trying to guess what each other is saying while only speaking like a caveman!

 

One of my favorite comics is titled “How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You” written by The Oatmeal which I very much enjoyed reading in middle school.  As a board game enthusiast, I was even more delighted when I found out he was a game designer, with his first card game Exploding Kittens (and if that seems really weird, CNN describes it as “Uno, except there are goats, magical enchiladas, and kittens that can kill you”).

A few Christmas’ ago I got Poetry  For Neanderthals, a fast-paced guessing game where you get to smack other people… (intrigued? I’ll explain more later). Although this game might be hard to play without the official equipment, hopefully you’ll be interested enough after this post to try it out yourself!

 

How well will you be able to talk like a caveman? Let’s find out…

 

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Players: 2+

 

PREPARATION

 

Divide the players into two teams (Team Glad and Team Mad). On the table, there will be a stack of poetry cards, a sand timer, and a scoring mat. Players gather around the table in alternating team positions. 

 

Team Glad chooses one player to be the first Poet; a Team Mad player next to the Poet gets to have the NO! Stick (an inflatable “wooden club”).  

 

 

HOW TO PLAY

 

Once everyone is ready to play, the timer is flipped and the poet draws a card from the poetry card deck.  On this card, there are two sets of words, a 1-point word, and a 3-point word (the two are related). The object of the game is for the Poet to get the rest of their team to guess as many cards before the timer runs out.  The catch is that the poet MUST speak like a neanderthal; that means they can only describe the object on the card using ONE SYLLABLE WORDS.

 

For example, let’s say the secret word is “Campfire”:

 

Without showing the rest of their team what the card says, the Poet must use one syllable words to describe the object on the card. To describe “Campfire” the Poet may say:

 

“Hot place where you roast soft white cube”

 

Everyone else on the Poets team will begin guessing what the word is, no taking turns. If a teammate correctly guesses the term, the Poet may then score it on the mat! If it was the 1-point word, it goes in the 1-point spot, and if it was the 3-point word, it goes in the 3-point spot. If the team guessed the 1-point word, the Poet may then try and continue to describe the card in order to get all 3-points, or they can try and start by getting their team to guess the 3-point word.  Remember, as Poet, you only have a limited amount of time to get through as many cards as possible, so you want to be quick and concise. 

 

So when do I get to smack people?

If the Poet says a word  with more than one syllable like “Marshmallow” or says a one syllable word that is a characteristic of the word on the card like “Camp” or “Fire” then the opposing team member with the inflatable “wooden club” is supposed to then hit the Poet with said club and shout a defiant “NO!”, indicating a mistake was made. (This means that the player with the NO! Stick must be able to see the card). If this happens, the Poet places the card on the -1-point pile on the scoring mat and continues to try and describe words before time runs out. Note: If the player with the NO! Stick doesn’t catch that the Poet made a mistake, they can’t retroactively penalize them.

 

 

When the time runs out, all guessing stops and the points are moved to a different scoring mat to be tallied at the end of the game. The Player with the NO! Stick becomes the new Poet, meaning it is the opposing teams turn to earn points, and the next player receives the NO! Stick.  Play continues until all players have been Poet once or every person has had an agreed upon equal number of chances at Poet.

If you want to watch a quick video explaining the rules instead: How to Play Poetry For Neanderthals

 

 

WINNING THE GAME

After the final round, all the points from each round are totaled for each Team and the Team with highest score wins!!

 

 

PROPERLY PLAYING POET

YOU CAN

• only speak using one syllable words
• say any word on your card AFTER a guesser has said that word (even if it is more than one syllable)

YOU CAN’T

• say any word, part of any word, or any form of a word that is on the Poetry Card (unless a guesser has already said it)
• use gestures or charades
• use “sounds like” or “rhymes with”
• use initials or abbreviations
• use other languages

BASIC RULE:  IF IT FEELS LIKE CHEATING, IT’S CHEATING!!

 

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Author’s Note

This game is a ton of fun! It is very unique in its concept of gameplay and overall has a really fun social component to it. It’s competitive but also involves a great amount of teamwork and I think the balance is great.

Also, I truly had a phenomenal time writing this blog, and has been my favorite project of college so far. Writing about something that I was actually passionate about was the driving force behind these posts and really made the whole process fun. No other topic would have been as much fun to write about, and I’m going to be very sad to not have these to look forward to anymore. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful summer! If you leave this blog with anything, take this:

There’s a time for everything… make more time for games

 

Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful day!

 

 

 

Credits

I cannot stress enough the importance of Leigh Anderson’s fantastic book The Games Bible for inspiring these blog posts.  Even though this post wasn’t inspired by her work, her book has hundreds of amazing ideas, from icebreakers, family games, and weekend getaways.  This blog would not be possible without all the hard work she put into writing the book so my source for ideas and research are from her book. Thank you, thank you, thank you Leigh Anderson, you’ve been a wonderful aid to me the past years.

Sources

• Anderson, Leigh. The Games Bible. Workman Publishing Company, 2010.
• Anderson, Leigh. “The Games BIBLE: The Ultimate Gamebook… Book by Leigh Anderson.” ThriftBooks, www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-games-bible-the-ultimate-gamebook-for-grown-ups-307-games-to-put-the-fun-back-in-parties_leigh-anderson/571781/#edition=5740103&idiq=12407424.
• https://theoatmeal.com/
• https://www.explodingkittens.com/products/exploding-kittens-original-edition
• https://youtu.be/v_n9HdRs-TI

Image Sources

• https://www.ultraboardgames.com/img/slideshow/poetry-for-neanderthals.jpg
• https://www.ultraboardgames.com/poetry-for-neanderthals/gfx/game5.jpg
• https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81tpYi99Y3L._AC_SL1500_.jpg
• https://www.board-game.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Poetry-for-neanderthals-review.png