Dear Katie

Dear Katie,

Wow. It is hard to believe that I have come to my tenth blog post, the end of this assigned blogging journey as part of my freshman Rhetoric and Civic Life course. This means that I have just three more weeks left in the fall semester… what? Everyone says it, but it is true, so I will say it again: time flies. I feel like you just dropped me off yesterday, yet I am already 1/8 through my time here at Penn State. For my final post, it seems fitting to talk about gratitude as we just celebrated Thanksgiving, an entire holiday dedicated to giving thanks for the things we have. Over break, my THON Committee started an email chain where everyone shared what they were thankful for and then “popcorned” someone else to do the same, and it was seriously amazing to read what everyone wrote. I loved that it was a reason to pause and put gratitude down in words, and it really made me realize how important it is to live a life full of gratitude, not just in the week surrounding Thanksgiving. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here is a (non-exhaustive) list of everything I am thankful for. On the bad days where I am having a hard time reminding myself how extremely blessed I am, I will refer back to this list, and I hope it inspires you to do the same for yourself.

I am thankful for the little things…

• hot cup of coffee with a generous amount of creamer
• good music, especially Taylor Swift throwbacks and coffee shop acoustic
• fall scented candles
• colorful pens and calligraphy
• good books
• beach days (see above)
• fresh veggies and salad
• Greys Anatomy

I am thankful for the big things…

• Family
• Health
• The fact that my biggest worries are exams and papers…. How blessed am I that these are my biggest obstacles? Very.
• Technology to connect me to the people I am far from. FaceTime, you rock.
• Freedom, both the freedom afforded to me by living in the United States and the freedom to choose my path for the future and recognize the limitless possibilities

 

I am also thankful for this blogging assignment as it was a much-needed outlet during my first semester and ended up being something truly enjoyable. Maybe this is not goodbye and I will continue blogging outside of my class assignment. Who knows. Either way, I am grateful to be your older sister and to put my thoughts onto this virtual platform to reach you.

Until next time,

 

 

 

“Gratitude is the sweetest thing in a seekers life – in all human life. If there is gratitude in your heart, then there will be tremendous sweetness in your eyes.” -Sri Chinmoy

 

Dear Katie,

Over the past eight weeks I have thrown a lot of information at you. Maybe you will remember it all, maybe not. But if nothing else, remember these ten things:

1. Cry it out.Crying almost always makes me feel better, and I truly recommend it highly. The catch: you can only give yourself one good cry, then you need to pull yourself together, wash your face, stand up straight, and tackle whatever it is you were crying over. Don’t dwell in the sadness. Feel it, let it out, then move on from it.
2.  Girl Power. Girls can do anything. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Find powerful women who inspire you and seek to emulate their strength every day.
3. Sisters before Misters. There are many sayings that capture this sentiment, not all of them are appropriate for posting in this medium, but the message is the same: your girl friends are more important than any boy will ever be.
4. Sleep. Sleep as often as you can. You are not you when you are tired. Often a problem looks completely different after a full night’s sleep.
5. Will it matter in 5 years? This is a question I ask myself whenever I think my world is ending. The answer is usually NO, and it gives me the necessary perspective that maybe I couldn’t see because I was blinded by the emotions of the moment. If it will not matter in 5 years, it is not worth the stress.
6. Choose Kindness. Every single interaction you have with others is an opportunity to choose to be kind. Make this choice every single day, every single minute. You’ll be happier for it, and the world around you will be as well. Give people the benefit of the doubt, forgive, and speak with compassion.

   

7. You can’t do it all. Don’t do a lot of things poorly. Do a few things well. It is so much more rewarding to give 100% of yourself. You have so much to give, so do not compromise that by overextending.
8. Go to Church. Yep. I know you used to go simply to make mom happy, but if nothing else it serves as an hour of quiet time to reset and re-center for the week ahead. When things get tough, having your faith to look to can be so comforting.
9. Invest in Relationships. The relationships you have with your friends and family will be the most cherished things you have, far more valuable than any possession could ever be. As such, pour yourself into these relationships and allow them to make you a better person.

   

10.  Just go for it.You’ll never regret going for it. It will probably go well, and if it doesn’t you’ll learn and grow through it. I can’t tell you the number of times fear held me back – fear I wasn’t good enough, fear of what others would think, fear of failing– and how every single time I regretted not just going for it.

until next time,

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.” ― J.K. Rowling

Dear Katie,

Stress. Ugh. Stress is an inevitable part of life, much to everyone’s dismay. From school, to family, to friendships, stressors have the ability to totally knock you out and keep you down if you let them. The key is learning how to first recognize the things causing you stress in your life and then, secondly, taking action either in the form of eliminating the stressor or managing its effect on you. Let’s walk through these steps so that the next time you are stressed, you do not crawl into bed and pretend like your stress cannot find you under your blankets (this doesn’t work… trust me I have tried), but are ready to tackle it head on!

1. Recognize your Stressors: it would be pretty hard to deal with your stress if you did not know what it was stemming from, right? Sometimes, you may notice your body’s reaction to stress before you really think about what is causing it. I personally tend to hold my stress in my shoulders and neck, making for a super painful situation! In that case, journaling or quiet reflection is a really good tool to go through the potential stressors and discern your feelings for each of them. If you start making a list of things in your life, for example, and get to the point where you write down “Jane”, you may realize that particular relationship is not the best it can be and could be creating stress. Other times, you know exactly what is causing the stress without really having to investigate, and that’s okay too.
2. Take Action: ELIMINATE: can you eliminate the stressor? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself, “what am I waiting for?” If a toxic relationship is hurting your well being, it is time to let that go. If you have simply taken on too many responsibilities and have an overflowing plate, back off and limit your commitments because you quite simply cannot do it all. If you find your stress is coming from your cellphone, take a few hours a day to detox and relax uninterrupted by technology. You get the point… cut negativity and stress out of your life wherever possible. Be selfish and put your health first.
3. Take Action: MANAGE: Let’s be honest, it is not always possible to eliminate sources of stress (dropping out of school is typically frowned upon,). Most of the time, we need to suck it up and work through it. In these cases, it is helpful to have a set of tools to manage stress that you can always fall back on. Here are some of my favorites and ideas that you can add to your “toolbox”.

• Breathe. 10, deep, cleansing breaths. I love this gif.

  

• Yoga.Sneak in a yoga class. One hour later, you will feel refreshed.
• Talk About It! Lean on your friends and family to share how you are feeling. Never hold it in.
• Make a List. If you are overwhelmed with the sheer amount of tasks facing you, make a list, rank things in order of priority, and start checking things off.

 

• Stay Organized. Staying organized with a planner and keeping up with your schoolwork can eliminate unnecessary stress. Did someone say color coding? Yes, please.

• Healthy Choices. Eat full, balanced meals and work out to trigger some endorphins.

Above all else, remember that all stress is temporary. Things will always get better, and you are strong enough to make it through.

until next time,

 

 

 

 

“It is not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it” – Hans Selye

Dear Katie,

I saved this post for later on in my blogging journey to have a better perspective on freshman year after more time, more experience, more reflection. I also think it is a fitting post for me to write this week because I am just back from a weekend at home, a weekend so amazing that returning to school left me with mixed emotions. Such an ordinary weekend, full of all the routine things I would never think twice about before – grocery shopping and running errands with mom, baking muffins and drinking coffee before church, watching Netflix before bed with my sister- all took on a new significance because I can no longer do those things every day. The comfort awarded to me by being home, with my people, in my town, definitely made it bittersweet to leave and return to school. Despite the difficulty with which I bid Waterwillow Road goodbye for the second time, I was eager to return to State College, which is a testament to how much I have grown in just the past two months. Flashback to two weeks leading up to moving into my dorm, I would cry at the very mention of the word “college”. And the actual day of move in, let’s just say it was one of the most emotionally exhausting days of my life so far. I am oh so grateful that Schreyer’s SHOTIME kept me busy and distracted, or I most likely would have sat in my room and sobbed. Dramatic, maybe, but how I was feeling during that transition. My prayers for the first couple of days consisted of prayers for peace, clarity, happiness, and to know that the sadness I was feeling was actually such a blessing because it meant that I experienced love at home.

So, now I have reached the end of October, the leaves are changing, and the air is chilly, a perfect fall scene as I walk around campus…. I cannot help but feel thankful. I genuinely feel so lucky to be at Penn State, and I recognize the blessings it affords me every day, and this point of gratitude and peace is one I really could not imagine reaching on August 15 when our family, my whole world, said goodbye. A huge reason for this is the people who have come into my life. Connecting with people who allow you to be yourself and understand your passions makes all the difference. More than that, having someone to laugh with and go through the crazy, busy, bad days and the crazy, exciting, fun days is so amazing.

Katie, if you are reading this blog post the night before you move into your dorm and begin your biggest adventure yet, my wish for you is to be open to everything. Do not allow your fears and anxieties to hold you back from the incredible people you will meet and the genuine connection you will feel to your school. Allow yourself time and grace when adjusting. It is okay to be sad, but I promise you, you will be authentically happy again soon.

until next time,

 

 

 

“Life is the most exciting opportunity we have. But we have one shot. You graduate from college once, and that’s it. You’re going out of that nest. And you have to find that courage that’s deep, deep, deep in there. Every step of the way.” – Andrew Shue

Dear Katie,

This blog post is definitely an interesting one for me to write in terms of my own self-reflection. As I sit down to put my advice for you into words, I think about my own transition and what I wish someone told me at the time. The first couple months of my freshman year of high school were nothing but challenging, confusing, and even discouraging. I was coming from middle school where I felt super comfortable and breezed through classes, getting an A with minimal effort. Then high school hit, the school was huge, I constantly got lost, and class was hard (Mr. Pierce’s Seminar English Nine, to be exact). Overall, it was a huge transition that took time for me to adjust and realign. In the end, however, I fell in love with my school and shed tears when it came time to say goodbye on the final day of senior year. I say all this not to scare you for the first weeks of high school (everyone has a really different experience…Molly was perfectly fine!) but to highlight how different the transition my college has been. Sure, it has not been easy move away from home and meet new people, and I have had my fair share of emotional breakdowns, it has been notably easier than my freshman year of high school which is contrary to what you might assume. I think what it comes down to is at 18 years old versus 14 years old, I have a better grasp on who I am, greater self-confidence, have leadership and academic experiences under my belt, can cope with stress and adversity much better, and am confident in my capacity to learn new things. All of this to say, high school will be four extremely transformative years in your life, and on the eve of your first day, it can feel overwhelming. Take a deep breath and instead of feeling scared, feel excited. Feel excited for the new passions you are going to discover and chase wholeheartedly, feel excited for the new friends you will meet and the amazing teachers you will grow close to, and feel excited to grow into yourself and develop dreams for the future.

Just for fun, here is my  homecoming freshman year to graduation senior year…

 

 

With all that said, I surveyed my friends and collected this list of advice for freshman year of high school:

Maria:Have a social life.

Abbey:Don’t be afraid to ask teachers for help.

Sarah: Don’t be intimidated by upperclassmen because they really do not care about you.

Another Sarah: Get involved! Join clubs.

Jess: Do not take on too much. Find a balance between clubs and AP classes… you can’t do it all!

Molly: Become involved in a club that you are passionate about and can stick with and eventually hold a leadership position. When it comes to college applications, dedication to a few organizations looks better than joining a million different clubs.

Neela: It’s always ok to be unsure about the future

Me: Get to know your teachers! I know I am echoing advice above, but your teachers are such a great resource academically but also personally. Having faculty that I knew I could talk to about anything made such a difference.

until next time,

 

 

 

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”– Aristotle

 

Dear Katie,

There are so many places we as young women can look to for examples of strong, powerful women absolutely killing it at what they do: our teachers, our doctors, authors we read, artists we listen to, the list goes on. The fact that the list does indeed go on, and that we can easily see these models of empowered females in our daily life is not something we should take for granted. So many women before us fought so hard to get to this point: the point where, as little girl, I did not think twice when our mom would get dressed for work every day. This was normal. We need not look further than our own mother to see that women can do anything they set their mind to. Not only is our mother a highly educated and respected attorney, a partner at her law firm and vastly knowledgeable in her field, she was our class mom, organizing Minute-to-Win-It games for the holiday parties, animatedly demonstrating how to make a human mummy out of toilet paper. She was our girl scout troop’s cookie mom, keeping track of countless boxes of Thin Mints and Caramel Delights, and a group fitness instructor, waking up at ungodly early hours in the morning to inspire a room full of people to live a healthy life style and hold that plank for “just thirty more seconds” because “you are stronger than you think!” Encouragement such as this is commonplace from our mom; she lifts everyone she meets up while carrying immense responsibility of her own.

Growing up with immediate access to such an amazing role model who seemed to effortlessly do it all has taught me a few things about being a woman in the modern world.

1. Do not be afraid to ask for help. It does not make you any less strong to admit where you need help or admit a weakness. The ability to ask others for assistance when you need it only proves your self-awareness and maturity.
2. Lean on your girlfriends. Having a solid group of women who you can turn to for everything makes a world of a difference. There when you need to laugh, cry, vent, seek advice, your girlfriends are one of your greatest resources and a source of inspiration and blessing.
3. Education never stops. Education is not a means to an end but rather a pursuit that continues throughout the duration of your life. Reading avidly about your field of work and always seeking to improve will ensure your continued success.
4. It does not matter what others think. The only opinion that really matters is yours, so stop worrying so much about what people will think about you, say about you, if you do something. If we constantly worry about how we are perceived by others, as bossy, pushy, shy, intense, whatever it may be, we lose touch with our true identity.

Being a woman in 201 8 means that we still have so far to go to reach a truly equal society. It also means, however, that we have a plethora of boss women to look to for inspiration and encouragement. Moving away from home for the first time this year has only made me appreciate our mother more. The time I have with her is all the more special, and I truly recognize what a resource and blessing she has been and her prominent role in shaping my character. Watching her dominate her career and be an amazing matriarch has inspired me in so many ways. I will eternally be grateful that the person I look up to the most made it so that I never questioned my worth and capabilities as a woman.

So, Katie, given the example of our amazing mother, my wish for you as you grow up in our society today is that you never stop looking up to powerful females and never doubt your ability to achieve.

until next time,

“The world needs strong women. Women who will lift and build others, who will love and be loved. Women who live bravely, both tender and fierce. Women of indomitable will.” – Amy Tenney

 

Dear Katie,

Just in case growing up was not hard enough with figuring who you are, what you stand for, and how this translates to your actions, being a teenager in 2018 means you also face the constant and ever looming presence of social media. It consumes your life and raises the question: what are the implications for self-worth in a virtual world inundated with perfectly curated digital profiles? Social media constructed institutions such as “likes” and “followers” have transformed the standards by which youth measure their confidence and self-esteem. Basing your feelings of self-worth on an arbitrary number of “likes” number proves dangerous to something as essential as your identity because this should really be based on internal evaluations of your inherent worth. And just in case you were not sure, let me assure you, you have worth and so much to offer the world!  It should be noted that social media can be a positive space for social interaction; however, the key word is can because people only post carefully crafted snippets, very far from the messy and imperfect reality of everyday life. This prompts our critical inner voice to call into question why we have not also attained that level of happiness or achievement.

As you read this blog post, I imagine you can think of at least one, if not countless, times where you personally felt inferior based on something you viewed on social media. I urge you to approach social media with a new awareness that replaces mindlessly scrolling through images on your feed, consciously restoring your power to decide your own self-worth. Do not allow a social media platform to make that choice for you. You are much too valuable and have so many wonderful qualities and allowing yourself to feel inferior based on the seemingly perfect lives of others is madness. We all have good days, and we also all have bad days, but rarely do we post about the bad ones. We see someone post a picture of their glowing tan and fit body on a beautiful beach while we sit at home in sweat pants eating popcorn and think “what am I doing wrong?”. What we don’t realize is that this picture represents thirty seconds in the grand scheme of life and is a highlight, a glamorous moment, not reality. When you find that spending time on Instagram, Snapchat, or whatever platform, leaves you feeling unfulfilled, empty rather than inspired, I challenge you to detox. Delete the apps, turn off your phone, and go do something that makes you happy. Maybe detox for a day, a week, a month? Whatever duration, chances are it will leave you feeling a lot better about your life and refocused on what actually matters.

The person you are in real life is infinitely better than any persona you may try to portray online, and your real, messy, authentic life is enough. You are enough.

Until next time,

 

 

 

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” – Steve Furtick

Dear Katie,

Firsts are always scary. Your first time on a roller coaster, your first time spending a week away from home, your first time meeting new people, your first year in a different school… apprehensions and nerves are completely natural reactions to all these new experiences. You went through the difficult transition from the comforts of elementary school to the responsibility of middle school last year. It was a scary year of firsts, but you survived, and are ready to tackle seventh grade. Since you are almost at the halfway point of your middle school career, and soon you will have to go through all the firsts again during your freshman year of high school, I want to reflect on the most important lessons from these intermediate, transitional years.

This may or may not surprise you, but the most important things you will learn in middle school will not be taught in the classroom. I am not saying that basic algebraic concepts and an understanding of world geography are unimportant lessons. They will be fundamental to future academic success, undoubtedly; however, I believe that the lessons you learn outside of the classroom are just as, if not more, essential. I won’t sugar coat it: middle school is hard. Girls are mean. Life gets confusing. Middle school is a time for you to navigate through different friendships and eventually find your people, the people who will have your back through it all and show you unconditional love and support. As you determine who you are, what you believe in, and what you stand for, these people will fall into place as their goals and beliefs align with yours. This doesn’t happen overnight, and it might take making some of the wrong friends to determine who the good ones are, but the fruits of this difficult process of figuring out who your true friends are make it completely worthwhile. There is nothing better than completely trusting another person with your secrets with complete confidence they have your best interests at heart. So, do not be discouraged by girl drama; it is truly a part of life. Feeling left out might be the worst feeling ever, but there will come a day where you feel at home with your best friends, and all of the trials you endured to get to that moment will be worth it.

 

Be friendly to everyone. You never know what someone else is going through, or who might end up being your best friend. Be open to letting new people in, and do not hesitate to let negative people go. (Also, do your math homework! Good study habits start NOW!)

 

until next time,

 

 

 

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”- Oprah Winfrey

Dear Katie,

I am about three weeks into my freshman year of college at Penn State at this point, and I am just starting to feel at home… (insert large sigh of relief here). The more I feel at home here, however, the more I cannot help wondering what is going on at home in West Chester. As I navigate through new experiences and face new challenges on campus, I constantly think about our family, and the comfort that comes from knowing I have people who are rooting for me is like no other. That steadfast support reaches me daily. Still, I am largely detached from the day to day happenings of the Camp family, and while I know that it is the nature of this season of life, it still saddens me. As such, my goal in writing this blog is to place my many, many jumbled thoughts and any sisterly advice I can share on paper (or on the internet). Why? Because you, Katie, are growing up and I am not there to witness it. Sure, I will be home on breaks and still be involved in your life, but I will be largely absent from the day to day character formation and growth. Now, this blog is called “Dear Katie,” and, if you know me, you know I have not one but two younger sisters. The reason I did not title my blog “Dear Katie and Molly, ” is not because I love Molly any less, but rather that I was there to share all of this with Molly in person. I was there when she came home from school in tears because she got a B on a test. In fact, I was there in the hallway with her just five minutes later, giving out hugs, encouraging deep breaths, and reminding her that one B on a test would not, in reality, tank her GPA and prevent her from getting into college. I was there when Molly went out with her boyfriend for the first time and needed advice on which shoes to wear with those jeans. I was there when Molly passed her driver’s test, and again, I was there when she pulled out of the driveway for the first time alone. But Katie, you are just beginning all of these exciting, scary, and pivotal moments in your life, and the sad truth is that I am three hours away in State College, perfectly accessible by FaceTime, but lacking the special guidance and mentorship as your big sister that I could offer when we both lived under the same roof. It will be years before you reach some the turning points I will write about, so keep the link to this blog somewhere safe in the meantime.

While this blog is titled “Dear Katie,”, you are certainly not the only one I hope to reach through my writing. The thing I value most about my friends and family is their constancy in my life. I know I can always turn to them whether I need to cry, vent, laugh, or get advice. The second-best thing, however, is turning to writing, for writing has the power to reach infinitely many more people than you could physically impact. I cannot tell you how many times I have felt completely isolated in a struggle and upon reading about someone else’s experience, felt instantly less alone. This is the power of writing: connection and community. With the technology of 2018, it is so simple to create a blog such as this to share your story, yet the effects, whether known or unknown, can be so profound. With that, I hope the stories I share for Katie can also reach other girls and serve as some good, tried and true, sisterly advice. Through and through, I am a big sister; it is who I am and what I do best. Growing up is anything but easy, and, trust me, I still have plenty of growing to do myself, but all girls go through a lot of the same trials, so, please follow along with my blogs, and feel free to replace Katie with your name. If you take anything away after reading, pay it forward and share that advice with your sister or someone who is like a sister to you. Imagine what a better place the world would be if we all supported other girls like they were our sisters.

I’ll see you back here next week with my first (official) post of sisterly advice.

 

Until next time,

 

“For there is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather; To cheer one on the tedious way, to fetch one if one goes astray, to lift one if one totters down, to strengthen whilst one stands” -Christina Rossetti