Month: September 2018

Dear Katie,

Just in case growing up was not hard enough with figuring who you are, what you stand for, and how this translates to your actions, being a teenager in 2018 means you also face the constant and ever looming presence of social media. It consumes your life and raises the question: what are the implications for self-worth in a virtual world inundated with perfectly curated digital profiles? Social media constructed institutions such as “likes” and “followers” have transformed the standards by which youth measure their confidence and self-esteem. Basing your feelings of self-worth on an arbitrary number of “likes” number proves dangerous to something as essential as your identity because this should really be based on internal evaluations of your inherent worth. And just in case you were not sure, let me assure you, you have worth and so much to offer the world!  It should be noted that social media can be a positive space for social interaction; however, the key word is can because people only post carefully crafted snippets, very far from the messy and imperfect reality of everyday life. This prompts our critical inner voice to call into question why we have not also attained that level of happiness or achievement.

As you read this blog post, I imagine you can think of at least one, if not countless, times where you personally felt inferior based on something you viewed on social media. I urge you to approach social media with a new awareness that replaces mindlessly scrolling through images on your feed, consciously restoring your power to decide your own self-worth. Do not allow a social media platform to make that choice for you. You are much too valuable and have so many wonderful qualities and allowing yourself to feel inferior based on the seemingly perfect lives of others is madness. We all have good days, and we also all have bad days, but rarely do we post about the bad ones. We see someone post a picture of their glowing tan and fit body on a beautiful beach while we sit at home in sweat pants eating popcorn and think “what am I doing wrong?”. What we don’t realize is that this picture represents thirty seconds in the grand scheme of life and is a highlight, a glamorous moment, not reality. When you find that spending time on Instagram, Snapchat, or whatever platform, leaves you feeling unfulfilled, empty rather than inspired, I challenge you to detox. Delete the apps, turn off your phone, and go do something that makes you happy. Maybe detox for a day, a week, a month? Whatever duration, chances are it will leave you feeling a lot better about your life and refocused on what actually matters.

The person you are in real life is infinitely better than any persona you may try to portray online, and your real, messy, authentic life is enough. You are enough.

Until next time,

 

 

 

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” – Steve Furtick

Dear Katie,

Firsts are always scary. Your first time on a roller coaster, your first time spending a week away from home, your first time meeting new people, your first year in a different school… apprehensions and nerves are completely natural reactions to all these new experiences. You went through the difficult transition from the comforts of elementary school to the responsibility of middle school last year. It was a scary year of firsts, but you survived, and are ready to tackle seventh grade. Since you are almost at the halfway point of your middle school career, and soon you will have to go through all the firsts again during your freshman year of high school, I want to reflect on the most important lessons from these intermediate, transitional years.

This may or may not surprise you, but the most important things you will learn in middle school will not be taught in the classroom. I am not saying that basic algebraic concepts and an understanding of world geography are unimportant lessons. They will be fundamental to future academic success, undoubtedly; however, I believe that the lessons you learn outside of the classroom are just as, if not more, essential. I won’t sugar coat it: middle school is hard. Girls are mean. Life gets confusing. Middle school is a time for you to navigate through different friendships and eventually find your people, the people who will have your back through it all and show you unconditional love and support. As you determine who you are, what you believe in, and what you stand for, these people will fall into place as their goals and beliefs align with yours. This doesn’t happen overnight, and it might take making some of the wrong friends to determine who the good ones are, but the fruits of this difficult process of figuring out who your true friends are make it completely worthwhile. There is nothing better than completely trusting another person with your secrets with complete confidence they have your best interests at heart. So, do not be discouraged by girl drama; it is truly a part of life. Feeling left out might be the worst feeling ever, but there will come a day where you feel at home with your best friends, and all of the trials you endured to get to that moment will be worth it.

 

Be friendly to everyone. You never know what someone else is going through, or who might end up being your best friend. Be open to letting new people in, and do not hesitate to let negative people go. (Also, do your math homework! Good study habits start NOW!)

 

until next time,

 

 

 

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”- Oprah Winfrey