Month: October 2018

Dear Katie,

Stress. Ugh. Stress is an inevitable part of life, much to everyone’s dismay. From school, to family, to friendships, stressors have the ability to totally knock you out and keep you down if you let them. The key is learning how to first recognize the things causing you stress in your life and then, secondly, taking action either in the form of eliminating the stressor or managing its effect on you. Let’s walk through these steps so that the next time you are stressed, you do not crawl into bed and pretend like your stress cannot find you under your blankets (this doesn’t work… trust me I have tried), but are ready to tackle it head on!

1. Recognize your Stressors: it would be pretty hard to deal with your stress if you did not know what it was stemming from, right? Sometimes, you may notice your body’s reaction to stress before you really think about what is causing it. I personally tend to hold my stress in my shoulders and neck, making for a super painful situation! In that case, journaling or quiet reflection is a really good tool to go through the potential stressors and discern your feelings for each of them. If you start making a list of things in your life, for example, and get to the point where you write down “Jane”, you may realize that particular relationship is not the best it can be and could be creating stress. Other times, you know exactly what is causing the stress without really having to investigate, and that’s okay too.
2. Take Action: ELIMINATE: can you eliminate the stressor? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself, “what am I waiting for?” If a toxic relationship is hurting your well being, it is time to let that go. If you have simply taken on too many responsibilities and have an overflowing plate, back off and limit your commitments because you quite simply cannot do it all. If you find your stress is coming from your cellphone, take a few hours a day to detox and relax uninterrupted by technology. You get the point… cut negativity and stress out of your life wherever possible. Be selfish and put your health first.
3. Take Action: MANAGE: Let’s be honest, it is not always possible to eliminate sources of stress (dropping out of school is typically frowned upon,). Most of the time, we need to suck it up and work through it. In these cases, it is helpful to have a set of tools to manage stress that you can always fall back on. Here are some of my favorites and ideas that you can add to your “toolbox”.

• Breathe. 10, deep, cleansing breaths. I love this gif.

  

• Yoga.Sneak in a yoga class. One hour later, you will feel refreshed.
• Talk About It! Lean on your friends and family to share how you are feeling. Never hold it in.
• Make a List. If you are overwhelmed with the sheer amount of tasks facing you, make a list, rank things in order of priority, and start checking things off.

 

• Stay Organized. Staying organized with a planner and keeping up with your schoolwork can eliminate unnecessary stress. Did someone say color coding? Yes, please.

• Healthy Choices. Eat full, balanced meals and work out to trigger some endorphins.

Above all else, remember that all stress is temporary. Things will always get better, and you are strong enough to make it through.

until next time,

 

 

 

 

“It is not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it” – Hans Selye

Dear Katie,

I saved this post for later on in my blogging journey to have a better perspective on freshman year after more time, more experience, more reflection. I also think it is a fitting post for me to write this week because I am just back from a weekend at home, a weekend so amazing that returning to school left me with mixed emotions. Such an ordinary weekend, full of all the routine things I would never think twice about before – grocery shopping and running errands with mom, baking muffins and drinking coffee before church, watching Netflix before bed with my sister- all took on a new significance because I can no longer do those things every day. The comfort awarded to me by being home, with my people, in my town, definitely made it bittersweet to leave and return to school. Despite the difficulty with which I bid Waterwillow Road goodbye for the second time, I was eager to return to State College, which is a testament to how much I have grown in just the past two months. Flashback to two weeks leading up to moving into my dorm, I would cry at the very mention of the word “college”. And the actual day of move in, let’s just say it was one of the most emotionally exhausting days of my life so far. I am oh so grateful that Schreyer’s SHOTIME kept me busy and distracted, or I most likely would have sat in my room and sobbed. Dramatic, maybe, but how I was feeling during that transition. My prayers for the first couple of days consisted of prayers for peace, clarity, happiness, and to know that the sadness I was feeling was actually such a blessing because it meant that I experienced love at home.

So, now I have reached the end of October, the leaves are changing, and the air is chilly, a perfect fall scene as I walk around campus…. I cannot help but feel thankful. I genuinely feel so lucky to be at Penn State, and I recognize the blessings it affords me every day, and this point of gratitude and peace is one I really could not imagine reaching on August 15 when our family, my whole world, said goodbye. A huge reason for this is the people who have come into my life. Connecting with people who allow you to be yourself and understand your passions makes all the difference. More than that, having someone to laugh with and go through the crazy, busy, bad days and the crazy, exciting, fun days is so amazing.

Katie, if you are reading this blog post the night before you move into your dorm and begin your biggest adventure yet, my wish for you is to be open to everything. Do not allow your fears and anxieties to hold you back from the incredible people you will meet and the genuine connection you will feel to your school. Allow yourself time and grace when adjusting. It is okay to be sad, but I promise you, you will be authentically happy again soon.

until next time,

 

 

 

“Life is the most exciting opportunity we have. But we have one shot. You graduate from college once, and that’s it. You’re going out of that nest. And you have to find that courage that’s deep, deep, deep in there. Every step of the way.” – Andrew Shue

Dear Katie,

This blog post is definitely an interesting one for me to write in terms of my own self-reflection. As I sit down to put my advice for you into words, I think about my own transition and what I wish someone told me at the time. The first couple months of my freshman year of high school were nothing but challenging, confusing, and even discouraging. I was coming from middle school where I felt super comfortable and breezed through classes, getting an A with minimal effort. Then high school hit, the school was huge, I constantly got lost, and class was hard (Mr. Pierce’s Seminar English Nine, to be exact). Overall, it was a huge transition that took time for me to adjust and realign. In the end, however, I fell in love with my school and shed tears when it came time to say goodbye on the final day of senior year. I say all this not to scare you for the first weeks of high school (everyone has a really different experience…Molly was perfectly fine!) but to highlight how different the transition my college has been. Sure, it has not been easy move away from home and meet new people, and I have had my fair share of emotional breakdowns, it has been notably easier than my freshman year of high school which is contrary to what you might assume. I think what it comes down to is at 18 years old versus 14 years old, I have a better grasp on who I am, greater self-confidence, have leadership and academic experiences under my belt, can cope with stress and adversity much better, and am confident in my capacity to learn new things. All of this to say, high school will be four extremely transformative years in your life, and on the eve of your first day, it can feel overwhelming. Take a deep breath and instead of feeling scared, feel excited. Feel excited for the new passions you are going to discover and chase wholeheartedly, feel excited for the new friends you will meet and the amazing teachers you will grow close to, and feel excited to grow into yourself and develop dreams for the future.

Just for fun, here is my  homecoming freshman year to graduation senior year…

 

 

With all that said, I surveyed my friends and collected this list of advice for freshman year of high school:

Maria:Have a social life.

Abbey:Don’t be afraid to ask teachers for help.

Sarah: Don’t be intimidated by upperclassmen because they really do not care about you.

Another Sarah: Get involved! Join clubs.

Jess: Do not take on too much. Find a balance between clubs and AP classes… you can’t do it all!

Molly: Become involved in a club that you are passionate about and can stick with and eventually hold a leadership position. When it comes to college applications, dedication to a few organizations looks better than joining a million different clubs.

Neela: It’s always ok to be unsure about the future

Me: Get to know your teachers! I know I am echoing advice above, but your teachers are such a great resource academically but also personally. Having faculty that I knew I could talk to about anything made such a difference.

until next time,

 

 

 

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”– Aristotle

 

Dear Katie,

There are so many places we as young women can look to for examples of strong, powerful women absolutely killing it at what they do: our teachers, our doctors, authors we read, artists we listen to, the list goes on. The fact that the list does indeed go on, and that we can easily see these models of empowered females in our daily life is not something we should take for granted. So many women before us fought so hard to get to this point: the point where, as little girl, I did not think twice when our mom would get dressed for work every day. This was normal. We need not look further than our own mother to see that women can do anything they set their mind to. Not only is our mother a highly educated and respected attorney, a partner at her law firm and vastly knowledgeable in her field, she was our class mom, organizing Minute-to-Win-It games for the holiday parties, animatedly demonstrating how to make a human mummy out of toilet paper. She was our girl scout troop’s cookie mom, keeping track of countless boxes of Thin Mints and Caramel Delights, and a group fitness instructor, waking up at ungodly early hours in the morning to inspire a room full of people to live a healthy life style and hold that plank for “just thirty more seconds” because “you are stronger than you think!” Encouragement such as this is commonplace from our mom; she lifts everyone she meets up while carrying immense responsibility of her own.

Growing up with immediate access to such an amazing role model who seemed to effortlessly do it all has taught me a few things about being a woman in the modern world.

1. Do not be afraid to ask for help. It does not make you any less strong to admit where you need help or admit a weakness. The ability to ask others for assistance when you need it only proves your self-awareness and maturity.
2. Lean on your girlfriends. Having a solid group of women who you can turn to for everything makes a world of a difference. There when you need to laugh, cry, vent, seek advice, your girlfriends are one of your greatest resources and a source of inspiration and blessing.
3. Education never stops. Education is not a means to an end but rather a pursuit that continues throughout the duration of your life. Reading avidly about your field of work and always seeking to improve will ensure your continued success.
4. It does not matter what others think. The only opinion that really matters is yours, so stop worrying so much about what people will think about you, say about you, if you do something. If we constantly worry about how we are perceived by others, as bossy, pushy, shy, intense, whatever it may be, we lose touch with our true identity.

Being a woman in 201 8 means that we still have so far to go to reach a truly equal society. It also means, however, that we have a plethora of boss women to look to for inspiration and encouragement. Moving away from home for the first time this year has only made me appreciate our mother more. The time I have with her is all the more special, and I truly recognize what a resource and blessing she has been and her prominent role in shaping my character. Watching her dominate her career and be an amazing matriarch has inspired me in so many ways. I will eternally be grateful that the person I look up to the most made it so that I never questioned my worth and capabilities as a woman.

So, Katie, given the example of our amazing mother, my wish for you as you grow up in our society today is that you never stop looking up to powerful females and never doubt your ability to achieve.

until next time,

“The world needs strong women. Women who will lift and build others, who will love and be loved. Women who live bravely, both tender and fierce. Women of indomitable will.” – Amy Tenney