If you’ve recently started questioning your identity, figuring out where or how to begin your journey of self-discovery may seem like a daunting task. Which path should you take? Who should you ask to join you, that is, if you don’t want to go at it alone?  

This may or may not be obvious to you, but there isn’t one right way to go about it. In this post, I’ll be focusing on online resources and virtual connections to assist you on your journey. I intend to write a post covering the value and importance of face-to-face interactions with other members of the LGBTQIA+ community in the near future, so stay tuned for that coming soon. 

From personal experience, the first thing I did was turn to the internet to figure out what I was feeling and find other people who felt the same way. This is probably the easiest and most helpful thing to do from the start, especially if you don’t particularly have anyone you want to reach out to yet.  

If you’re here, you have probably already taken this initial step. (Woohoo!) So, instead of spending too much time droning on about how lucky we young kids are these days to have the internet at our fingertips, I’ll spare you and get right to sharing the online resources I have found most useful and significant through my questioning and self-discovery journeys so far.  

Number 1: YouTube 

YouTube was absolutely instrumental in helping me learn more about my gender and sexuality. If you’re new to questioning, I would suggest just entering a generic search such as “questioning my sexuality” or “LGBTQIA+ identities.” If you already know of some identities that you feel like may fit you, try looking more into those! I would suggest learning about a bunch of different terms and labels, because there are so many different ones out there that are not so well-known, but that could fit you perfectly! Definitely make an effort to learn about the different types of attraction (sexual, romantic, physical, aesthetic, emotional, platonic, and more) as well! 

You can find some of the videos that helped me the most at the beginning in Anthony Padilla’s “I spent a day with” series (specifically those in relation to different sexualities and genders) and Psych2Go’s “Sexuality” playlist. As a side note, Psych2Go also has so many other videos to help in other areas of your life, from mental illnesses to personal growth to dating. I definitely recommend checking them out. Some of the videos and advice you will find to be the most valuable will probably come from smaller LGBTQIA+ YouTubers, so do some searching and find some people that represent you!  

Surprisingly or not, LGBTQIA+ TikTok compilations can also helpful and entertaining, which brings me to… (drum roll please) …

Number 2: TikTok 

I don’t know what it is with the TikTok algorithm, but after you spend some time on there, it somehow gets to know you so well that it can get a little bit freaky. It was honestly immensely helpful though, and I had people coming up on my For You page with experiences, thoughts, and feelings that matched mine exactly. I was finding other people who put my own thoughts into words better than I could.  

In my peak era of self-discovery coupled with nightly identity crises, TikTok was my go-to, and I can’t even fully explain how much it helped me learn about myself. I also felt less alone, between hearing from people so similar to me and reading the many comments of everyone who related as well.  

I have since deleted TikTok after it became too much of a time sink (which resultingly led my mental health on a downward spiral), so proceed carefully with this suggestion, but I am incredibly grateful for my time on TikTok when I needed clarity about my identity most. As a consequence of me no longer having TikTok (somewhat begrudgingly), I can’t give you any specific people to follow, but I suggest making your way over to Alt TikTok if you aren’t already. You’ll find so many creators who are part of the LBTQIA+ community on there, and they can both help you learn more about your identity and serve as entertainment with representation for people like you. I can’t stress enough how important representation is, but that rant is for another time! 

Number 3: Reddit 

Alright, I know I may have some Reddit haters in my presence, but hear me out. If you already consider yourself a Redditor, you’ll understand exactly what I mean. There’s a subreddit out there for virtually everything, including so many welcoming, accepting, and inclusive spaces for the LGBTQIA+ community! I suggest checking out the general r/lgbt subreddit, and any others that you might relate to at the moment.  

Reddit is such a great resource for getting to read about the experiences of people just like you. I have found that everyone is so nice and happy to help give advice on the various LGBTQIA+ subreddits I’ve looked into. If you’re comfortable, try reaching out to a couple of people on Reddit to connect with! I was able to find at least one amazing online friend with whom I could talk about shared experiences and feelings regarding our identities. It was so nice to have someone like this to connect with when I really wanted to talk about my identity with people like me, but I wasn’t comfortable with opening up to anyone directly in my life just yet. If this sounds appealing to you, give it a try! 

Hopefully you can take something away from my suggestions and recommendations about where to look online to help you learn more about yourself and make virtual connections with others like you. When you’re looking for where you fit under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, online sites like these are wonderful for helping you start to feel a sense of community and be more comfortable and confident with who you are. 

I encourage you to put your hiking boots on and stick with me for more advice and wisdom to guide you on your quest, even if it seems like an uphill climb right now. The journey has just begun, but try to look at it with excitement and anticipation rather than with fear! You got this!  

 

With love, 

PJ <3

 

 

Photo Credits:

Image 1

Image 2

Image 3

Image 4