Picture this. You get a follow request from a girl on Instagram and see her bio reads, “PSU 2022”. You are so excited, a college friend!! You accept and follow her back and see a message in your DM’s of her introducing herself. You talk and you get close, well as close and you can get. She likes and comments on all of your pictures and you go to a college meetup together and become “inseparable”. You are so excited to finally get to school with your new friends. And yet, you arrive and it’s like you never talked. Awkward hellos and slowly you drift to different groups.
Welcome to the new way of meeting friends in college.
Going in, everyone has these expectations that it will be the greatest years of their lives. And, it may as well be. College comes with unexpected twists and turns, new friends, and new beginnings for life.
However, jumping in with expectations about friends, school, and the social atmosphere is as toxic as most expectations can be. Every college student hears that they will make their forever friends and so there is this idea that you must meet your friends as soon as you jump in. Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms create this false idea of friendship where people like and comment on each other pictures and automatically think they are besties. And so, it is difficult to come into school with the realization that these “friends” are not truly friends.
First semester is really hard to adjust for many students. Between school, getting involved, and creating new friends, it is a very difficult time to juggle all aspects of life while remaining mentally stable. And everyone goes through that phase where they feel alone, where they feel like they are the only one struggling and they want to transfer to a school where their best high school friend attends. Don’t be ashamed, I went through that exact phase and I can admit that I am trying to find my place here.
Emery Bergmann is a student at Cornell who made a video for her Digital Media Course called, “Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student”, and the video went viral. Now, she is writing New York Times articles and elaborating about why she made the video and the outreach it had (New York Times). Her video had such a large magnitude because of the reality of it.
Another study done by the Jordan Proco Foundation, the Partnership for Drug-free Kids, and the JED foundation questioned college students and found that an astonishing number of students feel lonely experiences during their first year of college. 60% of their participants wished they had a little more mental preparation and 50% feel they were scared to live alone. 45% of students felt as though, “Everyone had it all figured out and I didn’t,” and 54% said they had an extremely hard time feeling like they belonged in their environment (CT Counseling).
Making friends is hard, especially coming from a history and lifetime of high school friends who have spent your life and built your memories with you. But it is okay to be scared and I just want you to know, you are not alone. So, pick up the head and realize that you belong to be there and eventually, as everyone says, you will meet your people.
I definitely relate to this.I made a friend on instagram that goes here and I’ve only saw her once which was 2 weeks ago. Before getting here I was so excited about meeting new people and having a lot friends and now it’s kinda the complete opposite. I only have 2 friends that I hang out with often and the rest are just people that I am cordial with. Thankfully I made a new friend at modeling tryouts. Usually I see people that I wound’t mind being friends with but I would feel weird just walking up to them and asking them.