Celebrate Professional Teaching
Penn State English NTL Faculty
April Honey Badger
Honey Badger knows: 2FA is a pain in my striped hiney.
Honey Badger asks: “Does anyone know why a guy would bother coming to the State Theater international film festival if all he’s going to do is put in ear plugs and watch porn on his ipad for the entire two hours?”
Honey Badger wonders: what are toe hairs for?
Honey Badger says: whoever is microwaving the lunch that smells like wet socks after a through-hike on the Appalachian trail—you are welcome in my burrow any time.
“My professor is so old, he thinks GroupMe is Tinder for multiples.”
“You think that’s bad, mine is so old she thinks YikYak is a travel blog from Nepal.”
“I can Trump all of you: my teacher is so old, he thinks Kik Messenger is a self-help app for alcoholics who want to kick the habit.”
“Yeah, man, you win: like, alcoholics don’t even exist anymore.”
“So did you study for this test?”
(laughs) “Naw, I was up all night Twitching.”
Professor, alarmed: “You really should see a doctor about that.”
“Dude, you have no idea what you’re saying.”
Professor, hovering by the classroom door as the students leave: “O.k. but…Uber is a phone-in service for philosophers who want to urgently discuss their inherent superiority, right?”
Overheard in Dear Old Departed Verizon Building:
Student: “It’s just very frustrating to be graded by the department rubric you gave us when all my other friends in all the other comp classes just hand in a first draft and get an A for doing ok.”
Teacher: “Well just so you know, when we teachers do mock-grading forums, I’m always the one who grades the test paper the highest.”
Freshman Student, week 1: “I’m trying to get into med school, so I need an A in this class. Tell me what to do to be sure I get an A.”
Lecturer, week 12: “Five students I’ve been working my butt off to save just dropped my class; there goes my “D” quota.”
What to Tell Your Students the Next Time They Wonder What an English Degree is Good For: