LITTLE ITALY, N.Y. — Spaghetti companies across the nation have come under fire after studies show Spaghetti might just be Italian pubes.
After the questionably thin and curly noodles hit the shelves, the FDA decided to launch an investigation. The investigation found the main perpetrator to be Chef Boyardee. According to our sources, they first received an anonymous tip from a rolling can of ravioli. Our team reached out but unfortunately Chef had no comment.
Scientists in Florence just began looking deeper into the scandal by launching a new study of the statue of David, the pinnacle of the Italian physique. Five members of their team went down to the sight to examine the the statue and what they found was anything but delicious.
After studying the statues hair and genitalia they concluded that the statues hair does in fact have an eerily noodle-like texture.
Said one scientist, “It’s not spaghetti but it’s also not not spaghetti.”
Further studies will need to be done but until then the FDA has issued a warning to consumers to take caution.
