March of the 3rd Rank goes terribly wrong when all colonels turn into popcorn

By Chelsea West

Somewhere In The Desert Fighting A War – In 109-degree heat, the 3rd rank received a salty surprise. All 7,000 colonels popped into pieces of popcorn!

“We’ve been on this journey to the battle for 89 days and rations were getting pretty low,” said Soldier Michelle Buchanan, “so this tragedy was for the greater good.”

The colonels, now turned into large popcorn, were approximately 6’1” by 7’, but their size slowly diminished as their famished soldiers clawed their way to break off what used to be a limb, now a popped grain, in order to feed their strangely loud growling stomachs.

“I served my country and now my country is serving me,” said caramel drizzled Colonel Johnson.

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