Look at what you’ve done. Yeah, I’m talking to you. Think about the countless hours you’ve spent in Animal Crossing, poring over every detail to create your perfect island. You diligently collected bugs, fish, and fossils to proudly display in your museum. You travelled to over 100 islands just so you could take home your favorite villager, Sherb. You even spent two hours editing a custom path design because the default stone path was not mossy enough for your prized Japanese tea garden. And now, you are letting every second of that work go to waste. It’s been 3 months since you last took a visit to your precious island. THREE. MONTHS.
It’s honestly impressive how you managed to fuck up the easiest responsibility in your life. You were in charge of a highly acclaimed island paradise full of residents that loved and respected you unconditionally, and all you had to do was show up. And you can’t even do that. How are you going to accomplish anything in the real world? News flash, nobody in real life is going to pay $1000 for that cool bug you just found. And you wish your student loan was as generous as the one Tom Nook is giving you.
Your island deserves so much better than you. Right at this moment, your perfect little house is crawling with cockroaches. Your pretty little garden, neatly planted with every color of roses, lilies, and windflowers, is surrounded by hideous weeds. And now that you aren’t there to singlehandedly stock his museum, Blathers is heartbroken that his life’s dream was snatched away from his grasp. He is probably crying right now. Imagine him sulking in the corner of the museum lobby, salty owl tears dripping down his sad, feathered face. He is hooting at the ceiling in agony, a broken husk of his cheerful former self. YOU DID THIS.
And the saddest thing of all is that you can fix everything right now. Go ahead. Walk over to your Switch, boot up Animal Crossing, and make your triumphant return to that town that you adore so much. But we both know you won’t. The judgement of your villagers would be too much for you to handle. Sure, their words might say that they are excited to welcome you back, but there will be a deep, unrelenting resentment in their eyes. You know that you will never return.
And don’t even get me started about how distraught Penny from Stardew Valley is.
