November 21, 2020

By Ayana Francois

On Monday Fashion experts at the CDC discovered a new strain of turtleneck that is rapidly spreading across the northeast.  

Scientists believe this is a new style of the turtleneck from the Le Corona line unleashed in March 2020 at Wuhan Fashion Week. After it was discovered the style quickly made its way through Milan, Paris LA, and New York Fashion week and rose to popularity across the country with Many Americans wearing it to parties, group functions, and large crowds. 

The Turtlenecks Snug neckline and warm itchy fabrics, has caused symptoms such as rashes, shortness of breath, fever, and looking hot af. Also, the excessive shedding design and overall fashionability of this sweater have made these symptoms quite contagious.

Experts have also warned that this trend is not going anywhere anytime soon with the sweater being versatile enough to last all of maybe even until 2023.. According to the manufactures at Fuck me I guess inc., as hot girl summer approaches manufacturing expects a surge in orders. To combat the rush they have opened up production of the controversial sweater to many new locations such as your family’s thanksgiving dinner, at that one frat/bar, and any large crowd you fucking idiot. In fact, many cities across the country are considering shutting down in preparation for this surge in unmasked contagious style. 

Said the Mayor of Fuck Town, USA “this sweater is really putting a strain on our town”. He then went on to say “the unfiltered breathtaking design is too much for many of our less fashionable elderly population.” Since the release of the turtleneck, Fuck Town has seen a 20% increase in sweater related deaths and a 100% increase in served looks.  

Our team also reached out to the head of the CTC (Center for Turtleneck Control) to see what they had to say about the situation, however, they had died of covid -19.