STATE COLLEGE- Irony is cruel. Especially so, to the people who are completely ignorant of it. A poor son of a bitch is wearing this t-shirt while living in Pennsylvania.
Austin Moser (sophomore-engineering) confidently bought his favorite t-shirt during his freshman year. A white number with a blue outline of the state of Ohio, you know the one. This is where things get complicated. The shirt read, “Worst State Ever,” implying the Buckeye State is somehow inferior.
“Ohio is the worst state, dude,” laughed Moser. “Penn State rules and Ohio State sucks a lot. We’re definitely gonna take them to town this year in NCAA championship this year. Pennsylvania is awesome, that’s why I bought this shirt for twenty dollars,” Moser continued without a hint of self-awareness.
This young man is somehow convinced a state that has produced six of America’s great Presidents is worse than Pennsylvania, which has produced only one, James Buchanan, the worst leader in American history.
“James Buchanan? I haven’t heard of that guy. Is he on the team’s roster? Maybe a lineman I haven’t heard of,” Moser admitted when pressed.
Yeah, Ohio has its flaws for sure. Who doesn’t? Who’s to say one state is superior to another? Let alone claim one being “the worst.” In our perfect union, each state is equal in the eyes of the federal government. Dividing us will only make us weak.
“Sorry, I don’t really know much about our conflicts in the Middle East or any of that stuff.” Pathetic.
Doesn’t Moser realize he’s from Pennsylvania and hasn’t left for more than two weeks in his entire life? Both Ohio and Pennsylvania are proud, square shapes. Ever hear of the Great Lakes? Not that different after all, huh? I went to Cleveland once and it was the most fun I’ve ever had at a business conference.
Cast off the shirt, young man. Cast off the lines that divide us! You live in Pennsylvania for God’s sake! Pay attention in history class.
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