| Reported by Alise Deveney | PARENTS’ BASEMENT — One unemployed college graduate has started requesting and connecting with total strangers on the professional networking website LinkedIn; if only to feel anything at all. Wayne Fuller,…
| Reported by Rachael Hobbs | STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — This afternoon Penn State’s beloved student information system LionPATH was forever erased after a local professor mistakenly deleted it while trying to stop YouTube AutoPlay. For…
| Reported by Ryan Hatfield | STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — The horrible outcasted brain of Joe Paterno was found preserved in the catacombs underneath the Penn State Creamery. It’s common knowledge Joe Paterno is the most despicable…
| Reported by Melody Munitz | STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — On Wednesday at 1:10 p.m., students exiting their lectures in the Willard Building may have noticed an increased police presence. A small scene was caused when…
| Reported by Nikhil Nayyar | NEW YORK, N.Y. — It is the end times… Theodore Pembrooke, a 25-year-old accountant from Brooklyn, N.Y., just completed the inevitable. Pembrooke, a self described “man of many cultures”…
