Whenever I find myself in a situation where someone is attempting to sway my opinion, I generally do two things.
First, I listen. Are they being open to my opinion on the matter, or are they jamming their viewpoint down my throat?
The second action is entirely based on observations of the first. If I find that they’re simply expressing their opinion, I weigh the positives and negatives of the issue and tell them I’ll think about it before getting back to them. I give them the same amount of respect they gave me.
If the other observation is true and they doggedly expect me to conform to their opinions, I react in only one way. I shut down completely, and usually tell them to shut up.
When I change my mind about something, it has to happen naturally. A bit of persuasion based on solid fact helps, of course, but blind and biased opinion-spouting makes me angry, and it makes me not want to believe what they do. At all.
This, I find, is often the case for others as well.
When it comes to things like religious conversion and lifestyle changes, only the person who has the viewpoint can really change their mind on the matter. You can scream at someone until you’re blue in the face, listing set-in-stone facts as to why, say, Mormonism is far better than Catholicism. Your argument could be solid, yes, but that doesn’t mean the person listening will change their mind about it! In much the same way, a vegan can go on a rant about why the way they live is the best way, but a burger-loving grill king will just give them the cold shoulder and go about his business.
Personal compunction is the true basis for change. It can be fueled by the argument of someone else, but it has to be a self-propelled action. Rhetoric is crucial when resolving disputes, because it’s so much more than blind advertisement and pushing of arguments. It is debate and discussion; talking through issues and allowing others to form their own opinions instead of forcing them to conform to someone else’s. Without rhetoric, the world would remain screaming at each other forever, never understanding why others didn’t get what they were trying to say.
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It think it is interesting that you put forward that personal compunction is the true basis for change. I agree that no one can make you feel bad about something enough to make you change your permanent mindset. But there has to be instances where you change based on reaching for better, not just because you feel guilty about something.