Marci Free

April 20, 2014

Blog #3

Childhood Amnesia

Throughout the years often times my siblings and I will reminisce about our childhood. We all have our own special things that we remember. For the longest time it seemed as though I could not remember much before I started school. I never understood how my one sister could seem to remember “coming out of the womb” as I often joke with her. This is what is called childhood amnesia, according to Patricia Bauer, a professor at Emory University, most adults do not have memories of their first 3 to 3 & ½ years. (Hamilton, 2014)

Bauer states that even at 4 years old the brain is still so immature therefore, it is not working as efficiently as it is during adulthood. In the past year or so I have been trying to remember various things that I remember about when I was a child. I often don’t remember the memories but I remember random images or scents that trigger a memory. I often then ask my mom why it may sound familiar or where it may have been and she can help fill in the blanks. For example, about a year into my job I was filling some medications for patients. Some medications have a scent about them, one day I got a wiff of a medication that for some reason smelled very familiar but I could not place why. I asked my mom why this medication would smell so familiar, turns out when I was about 4 or 5 the one doctor I went to thought I had epilepsy. This particular medication was one that I took for about a year, it is a chewable medicine and has kind of a vanilla scent. We actually ended up switching doctors and my parents found that after all that time of blood work and EKG that I did not have epilepsy and I was taken off the medicine.  This all occurred before I started school. I can remember various things like getting a blue ribbon sticker when I had to go into get blood work and I remember all the paste in my long hair when they did the EKG and had to go home like that because they didn’t wash it out there. That is pretty much the extent of my memory. (Hamilton, 2014)

For a long time I think I repressed memories from a lot of my childhood due to my dad’s alcoholism. Until I the past 10 years as I have started to work through things and my relationship with my dad has changed, I think before that I associated so much bad and negativity with my dad that I was “choosing” to not remember because of my view on the situations. As I have worked through this I have come to realize that not all of my childhood was bad. Sure there were moments I would rather forget and some of my memories are not because of what I know but because of what I was told. I can remember thinking that if it was that bad then why would I want to remember it so I never really tried. The truth of the matter was there were a lot of bad moments but there were a lot of good moments too. I am choosing to remember and put focus on the good times. Recently, my son got a job on a farm, this also triggered my memories of when I was I think around 4 my parents had a couple who were friends with a daughter my age and they lived on a farm. I don’t remember going in the barns but I remember tromping down the muddy driveways along the barns. I remember the large silos and the scent. These were when times were good, I had forgotten all about the farm we used to visit until then.

My little sister has a very episodic memory, to the point that I sometimes question if she is making it up! She honestly probably is not because she isn’t like that. She remembers so much so vividly, like birthdays and happenings and she can usually tell you exactly what age she is, it’s almost like she is describing a photograph in her head that has all of this information noted on it. I have been trying to recollect more memories from my childhood especially to share with my son and nieces and nephews. I want them to know it wasn’t all bad, that my siblings and I had a good time. It is always a good time when reminiscing about our childhood and fun we had together. Recently, I was talking with my brother, he brought up that he remembers getting to come stay with me at college and when I would take them to the movies or come home and jump in leaves with them. It feels good to know that those things made such an impression on him. Not all memories are forgotten and even if traumatic or negative circumstances occur in life it does not mean they need to be repressed and forgotten. I have often said that it is so important to have a good childhood and good memories because when we are adults and life gets hard it is good to have reminders of when life was good and happy.

References

                Hamilton, Jon. “The Forgotten Childhood: Why Early Memories Fade.” NPR. NPR, 08 Apr. 2014. Web. 20 Apr. 2014. <http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/04/08/299189442/the-forgotten-childhood-why-early-memories-fade>.

Marci Free

Professor Romano

Psych 256

March 8, 2014

Recollecting Memories

            March 5, 2014, our family welcomed into the world our newest little addition, my nephew, Kade. We have been anxiously awaiting his arrival; we went to meet him for the first time that evening. Meeting him for the first time, seeing the ways Kade resembles my brother brought back many memories, as I was 9 years old when my brother was born, I remember hold him for the first time too.  As the days go by and the swelling from birth goes down we are seeing more of Kade’s true physical characteristics. Yesterday he was finally able to open his eyes; they truly are my brother’s eyes. While at the hospital discussing matters of the birth, my brother brought up what was going on when he was born.

In the previous months before Kade’s birth my brother has been going through this retrieval process of what our dad was like. He wants to be a different kind of dad than our dad was, this also brought out suppressed anger that had been stuffed for many, many years. This kind of a retrieval cue stemmed a flood of emotion for my brother. (Cherry, 2014) In the hospital my brother commented on how my dad was at the hospital when he was born, our dad was super excited that he was a boy especially after having 3 girls already. After everything was stable my dad left and went out to get drunk, he came back later very intoxicated. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt, but also as we sat there in the hospital experiencing the joy of Kade it is hard to believe anyone would want to miss out on any of this!

As I was recalling the memories, it was almost like a fill in the blanks as I was not at the hospital or with my dad when my parents had my brother, we stayed with my grandma. Yet it also triggered the recall of memories of when I had my son. My parents had just completed a very nasty divorce therefore; my dad did not come to the hospital to see my son. It wasn’t until later that night that I recollected the memory that my dad did come to my house the day my son and I came home from the hospital to see us since he did not come to the hospital because he did not want to be around my mom. How fitting it was that we are studying the long-term memory this particular week. These memories have been recall cued by the birth experience with Kade. (Maskin, 2014)

It actually has brought forth memories that have been shared with me that I never knew. This week my mom also shared with my her episodic memories of how my father’s actions built a relationship with my little sister when she was little by her helping him get a bolt that he dropped in his truck and her little hands were able to get to it. Then she became his little side kick, which is all she ever really wanted. However, unfortunately when my brother was born 30 years ago, my dad dropped that relationship with my sister immediately and my brother became his buddy. As I recollect how my sister is especially with how she has been with my dad it seems as though she has spent the rest of her life trying to get that back even in unhealthy ways. My sister seems to have suppressed many of her memories, but there was a time that she was angry with my mom and told her that she ruined her life when she was seven years old. My mom eventually put this together that my sister was 7 years old when my brother was born. These memories are stored in the amygdala, usually where emotions are process and stored unconsciously. (Maskin, 2010)

Long-term memories hold many special moments close and dear to us, however there are many things that we remember that we wish we did not remember. I once read a quote that stated “People may not always remember what you did, or even what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” –Maya Angelou. (Josephson, 2013) I often find myself remembering something specific but then seem to spend the rest of the time filling in the blanks. Reflecting & recollecting on long-term memories are especially great for learning from, laughter and also for making our lives better. We choose to stay within the same realm or to strive for something better. I may not have a perfect life but through my memories of growing up and my past I strive to stop the cycle, instead of complaining, I choose to be the change I want to see in this world, one memory at a time.

Works Cited

Cherry, Kendra. “Memory Retrieval.” About.com Psychology. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Mar. 2014.

Josephson, Michael. “LEADERSHIP INSIGHT:”People Don’t Always Remember What You Say or Even What You Do, but They Always Remember How You Made Them Feel.” – Maya Angelou. How Much More Effective Would You Be If You Always Considered This Insight?” Business Ethics and Leadership RSS. N.p., 03 Mar. 2013. Web. 08 Mar. 2014.

Mastin, Luke. “Memory Encoding – Memory Processes – The Human Memory.” Memory Encoding – Memory Processes – The Human Memory. The Human Memory, 2010. Web. 08 Mar. 2014.

Marci Free

Professor Romano

PSYCH 256

February 2, 2014

Where’s the fire?

                Tuesday , January 28, 2014, a typical late night at work, hearing traffic on the street and an occasional siren of sorts passing by. I recall hearing more sirens than normal around 6p.m.  on this Monday evening, but I was engrossed in my work and didn’t really think much about it. It is a main entrance into town from the neighboring town about 10 miles away, it is common to hear ambulance sirens coming into town. Little did I know what was really occurring. Little did I know what I would see when I left work a few hours later.

As I left work around 8p.m., I noticed a distinct smell in the air as I was walking to my car.  I was heading over the bridge to the grocery store to get some items for my sister-in-law who was 9 months pregnant and had the flu. As I was driving down the street I noticed a fire truck coming across the bridge. The truck was from Vernon fire department was heading over the bridge into the city, this is normally a sign of nothing good. I headed over to the grocery store, not really thinking much about it. As I headed back over the bridge, which arches so you can see over the city a little,  from the grocery store to my sister-in-laws home I could see a huge cloud of smoke and an orange glow. It was from somewhere about half way across town. As I drove towards my sister-in-laws I saw red strobe lights down the streets in the blocks nearing the location of the fire.

I was trying to figure out where the fire was, it was pretty big and I was praying that everyone got out. With the streets closed off it was not easy to figure out what building it was. Eventually through driving down different alley’s I realized it was a huge building on the corner by the YMCA. This was a large building that housed 12 apartments, of which 9 were occupied. I had assumed this was an apartment building throughout the years but I was never really sure.

According to the Meadville Tribune there were 10 fire departments involved in assisting to control the fire. They tried fighting off the fire but at about 6:31p.m. the fire chief,  had to call everyone out of the building because it was too dangerous. From that point on they just tried to control the fire as there were buildings next door. It was only 1 degree farenheit outside. This was a huge house and by the time I saw it, it was obvious it was a complete loss. There were at least 2 aerial ladders trucks trying to spray down onto the fire.   It was a bitter cold night, I was also praying for safety for the firemen and anyone involved. My son is a junior fireman; he heard on his scanner that some of the departments did not get back to the station until around midnight. (Gushard, 2014)

We made sure to pick up the Meadville Tribune the next day, it turns out it was a large apartment building on the corner of Liberty Street and Chestnut St. Luckily the YMCA was able to be used as a warming station for the firemen and displaced families. Local restaurants donated coffee, pizza. The building was a complete loss and such a danger that they started tearing it down 2 days after the fire. Someone had reported that when they were in the apartment building earlier that afternoon that something smelled off. The fire didn’t break out until around 5:30p.m. that evening. Everyone was able to escape the fire unharmed although unfortunately they lost all of their belongings. The community has been great in donating and helping out the families get back on their feet.

Works Cited

Gushard, K. (2014, January 29). Out in the Cold. The Meadville Tribune. P.A1 & A6.