Good afternoon, Psych Era. Today I wanted to discuss a topic and debunk a few myths I have seen concerning love. Before I begin, let me start by saying this; soulmates are fake. Mostly. I am not saying this to be a hater or “anti-love.” No, this is more so to convey the three conditions that allow individuals to fall in love- proximity, similarity, and physical attractiveness. Disclaimer, many more factors play into falling in love/attraction, so do not think these are the ONLY conditions that apply to it. Let us start with the idea of the proximity effect– the closer you are to someone, the more likely you are to fall in love, be interested in them, or wanna be friends with them.

Heart in the Sky. Image Source.

 

 

I mean, think about it. High school/college sweetheart that ex you can not get over, the infamous airport crush, they all have something in common- proximity. To expand on this, the more you are exposed to something, the more you will like it over time(mere exposure effect).

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                    Mere exposure. Image Source. 

 

 

The interesting concept is that, nowadays, proximity does not matter in this technological era. Dating apps, Snapchat and Instagram have rendered it useless. People can easily find suitable partners online, and because their best features are put forward, it is easy for people to be more interested in them. No destructive features are shown, so people create idealistic ideas about individuals they talk to online. Next, let us examine the similarity component. Another myth to bust is a false idea that opposites attract. They do not. You are more likely to associate with or like someone similar to you. Think about this: if someone you find attractive does not like your music, outfits, or anything you enjoy, do you think the relationship will work? Most likely not. In-groups and out-groups still apply to love. You are more likely to associate with someone who shares your interests.

 

Snapchat Logo. Image Source.

 

 

Finally, let us break down physical attractiveness. Many people say, “Personality matters most.” Does it? Not quite. Many studies that have been conducted show that men and women both see physical attractiveness as the most important. Personality is simply what makes people want to stay. Snyder’s experiment is an example of this. Men were told to have a phone conversation with a woman and shown a picture of attractive/unattractive women beforehand. Who do you think, in this instance, received better, more meaningful responses? The attractive women. It has been replicated and confirmed that attractiveness is significant in choosing a partner. Beautiful people are more valued & favored in society. They are considered friendlier and more understanding because they are conditioned to be.

 

 

 

The self-fulfilling prophecy is the explanation for this. The more individuals are expected to act in a certain way, the more they will conform to that idea, making them friendlier. Pretty privilege is not a myth. People do things more often for attractive people. Now that we have examined the three conditions for love, I will have to leave it at that and continue next week.

Self-Fulfilling Prop. Image Source.